Remember when....

[cant think of a user name]

....this forum was peaceful. You'd come on here and 99% of posters would offer something positive.

However, rifts are forming within this "community", with recent bannings, complaints about certain individuals, questioning of authority, flame-baiting topics and 6-page debate/wars about trivial matters.

If this forum is going to become "pleasant" again, we need to bond ..... hmm.. lets go back to 2002-03 where we flame-warred that wussy dating forum (j/k)!

 

[Skel]

Yes its true and I do remember. That was like 2 years ago. Now its trolls and a-holes but yet I still enjoy the anything forum.

 

[Climax]

Take control before things get out of hand...

I vote for a stricter forum... people who start flaming or being negative get warned, then get warned again, then they get suspended/banned for a month or so, then after that, if they continue, they get permanently banned or something along those lines.... I'm sure people would think twice before flaming/tuning/bringing ppl down etc... and yes, these rules should apply to mods as well, and yes SoSuave.com, you too ... Just my 2c


Laterz...

 

[quest]

Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
I vote for a stricter forum... people who start flaming or being negative get warned, then get warned again, then they get suspended/banned for a month or so, then after that, if they continue, they get permanently banned or something along those lines.... I'm sure people would think twice before flaming/tuning/bringing ppl down etc... and yes, these rules should apply to mods as well, and yes SoSuave.com, you too ... Just my 2c


Laterz...

its not hard to stay out of trouble.

i've never been in trouble in my time here..

if you don't like people who wear pink shirts don't go into the thread titled "pink shirts"

if you don't like tanning, stay out of the thread titled "tanning"

don't like reading about boxing, put "CLOONEY" on ignore... -just kidding clooney, your recent soccer thread proves to us all you're multi-dimensional. -ps. love your work

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Re: Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
After that demod thread was posted by MetalFortress, he seems to have started acting civil again to people, and started giving helpful advice. Maybe he's actually trying to change, or perhaps he's just hiding under the radar for a while so he doesn't get demoded, and is waiting for all this to blow over before acting up again.

In general, my only response to the thread you're talking about is in the Mod Corner. However, if you think I'm being civil and giving helpful advice now, then you think I was being civil and giving helpful advice a week ago, because nothing has changed. There are some threads where I argue with people -- those threads get high exposure because everybody likes a good fight, which I suppose will give the illusion that I'm "always" mean to people or whatever. Typically in the end, though, even the people I am "uncivil" to actually thank me for it (because it gets them to change their behavior).

I still think he's useful to the community (he has posted some decent tips), but I think being a mod totally corrupts the guy. He can still contribute to the site as a member, I don't see the point of having him as a mod, especially with so much drama always revolving around him, and his poor quota in comparison to diablo's.

As for the drama, there's always drama on this site. This site has more drama than all the girly-girl sites put together. As for my "mod quota", whatever that is, you are unaware of the facts. Diablo is a great mod, a very even-handed and fair mod. He typically closes threads with a little comment explaining why, which is great. I'm glad he has your earned your respect as he certainly deserves it. Other mods, including myself, have a different style which avoids some of the conflict that a handful of people complained about several months ago: we now will simply close or move threads without comment when we feel that the reason for doing so should be obvious. For some reason, people take it as a personal insult to get a thread moved or closed.

Diablo, Vincent, Virtual, Paradox, myself and all the other mods are constantly doing things behind the scenes in order to keep things on this site moving smoothly. Those things involve more than closing and moving threads, and often includes sending private messages to other users or other actions which would not be visible or apparent to the community at large. The only reason that half the threads on this site are not advertisements for porn or Free I-Pod Pyramid scams are because of the mods.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
I don't think you are a bad poster Gio, but I think you are a bad mod. Every member on this site argues, flames, or flame-baits every once in a while - it's in human nature to let off steam after a while. I honestly do not know why you are disrespectful or insulting to people, maybe you have bad days because of work, maybe the guy that lives in the appartment next to you plays drums at night when you're trying to sleep.

My sometimes harsh language often motivates people to change bad behaviors with women or with life, and I frequently am thanked by some of the people I was the "meanest" to. Beyond that, my only response to this has already been posted -- in the Mod Corner. It is not an argument that I am going to have with you.

You are entitled to not like me. I won't lose much sleep over it one way or the other. I have personally never had much of a problem with anybody here as far as actually disliking someone (I actually can only think of one person on this site that I have ever legitimately disliked).

 

[quest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
My sometimes harsh language often motivates people to change bad behaviors with women or with life, and I frequently am thanked by some of the people I was the "meanest" to.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=76620&perpage=20&highlight=stds&pagenumber=1

in this thread, i thank you.

but that thanks was in jest.

you weren't going to agree to disagree. so i had to be the bigger man. what you were saying was apparantly factual. but as you could see, it wasn't going to change me. so i ended it.

i didn't think THAT much of it at the time, but looking back, you are a mod, and reading some of the stuff you wrote, for example

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
BZZZZZZZZT.

Sorry, wrong answer. Thanks for playing though.

i don't think thats anyway for a mod to enter a thread. it is baiting. and it shouldn't be done, by anyone.

-but my point is, i thanked you to end the thread, not to give thanks.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by quest
but my point is, i thanked you to end the thread, not to give thanks.

Not everything I ever write is all about you, quest. LOTS of people have written PMs and emails to thank me for various things I have said.

As for the thread that you're referring to, what you do to put your health at risk is your own business. But don't be surprised to get called out when you put others at risk by spreading misinformation.

 

[quest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Not everything I ever write is all about you, quest.

I realise that, but i didn't think "hey, i'll say thanks to gio now so i can bring it up in a months time and throw it back at him!" others MAY or may not have said thanks for the same reason - stopping the thread.

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova LOTS of people have written PMs and emails to thank me for various things I have said. [/B]

i assume they are genuinly thankful.

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova As for the thread that you're referring to, what you do to put your health at risk is your own business.[/B]

Correct. we learn all about STDs and safe sex at school. and i realise that UNsafe sex can be very dangerous. and one day later in life, i may very well wish that i'd taken your advice, aswell as advertising campaigns advice, aswell as advice from school.
and i do try to have safe sex, but sometimes in the heat of the moment, i don't... but thats another story for another thread.

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova But don't be surprised to get called out when you put others at risk by spreading misinformation. [/B]

i didn't realise that that happens. but it definently should.
and i'd much rather this had have happened.
you edit my post, delete it all and leave "misinformation" you PM me "your reply in xxxxx thread was giving false or misleading information, i've edited it and given the correct information/links to find the correct information. In future, please refrain from giving any information unless you are certain its correct."

depending on my mood you would have got a "ok, no worries. thanks" (good mood) or no response (bad mood) instead of something that, if i were a hot headed guy, could have resulted in a flame war.

 

[penkitten]

hmm where were you guys when nss was being so harsh to everyone? sure he was harsh, but he knew what he was talking about.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by quest
you edit my post, delete it all and leave "misinformation" you PM me "your reply in xxxxx thread was giving false or misleading information, i've edited it and given the correct information/links to find the correct information. In future, please refrain from giving any information unless you are certain its correct."

depending on my mood you would have got a "ok, no worries. thanks" (good mood) or no response (bad mood) instead of something that, if i were a hot headed guy, could have resulted in a flame war.

At the time in question, I wasn't a moderator in this forum, so I could not do the things that you suggested even if I wanted to.

I suppose I could have sent a PM but that doesn't help any of the people who read what you wrote in the meantime, so I responded.

And honestly, my response toward you was pretty tame and was designed with the best interests of you and the other guys on this site in mind.

I have genital herpes and know what it's like... and I seriously don't want any of you guys to get any STD if you can avoid it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: Take control before things get out of hand...

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
The problem is, mods can get away with it and members can't.

Truthfully, I have yet to see a mod step out of line, but then again I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. Seriously though, the only complaints I can remember is when people were wondering why their threads were closed or deleted. The mods were doing their jobs but were sniped at for doing so.

Now people are complaining that there are too many flame wars going on. Would it be better if the mods became more strict about what is posted? They're d@mned no matter what they do.

I say that people should open up their own forums if they feel they can do better. People have done so in the past and I guess they are happy with their decision. It's not as if people's lives are dependent on what they post on this site; or is it???

 

[MindOverMatter]

Truthfully, I have yet to see a mod step out of line, but then again I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. Seriously though, the only complaints I can remember is when people were wondering why their threads were closed or deleted. The mods were doing their jobs but were sniped at for doing so.

This has been talked to death, and I have posted examples/links of a mod acting out of line and breaking the rules that are found here http://www.sosuave.net/forum/register.php?s=&action=signup . If you don't agree with it, that's cool, but there's a thread full of people who see otherwise.

Anyway, I have gotten a response from Allen, so as far as I'm concerned this matter is over from my end. The rest is in his hands now and I'll respect whatever decision he makes.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter

too many rumors?

 

[crazykid returns]

The member is balanced. While a LOT of crap is being thrown around now, there are also some good things. In the tip section, there are some new tips and some field reports. Same with Discussion and HS. Mature Man is really picking up now, as people are getting help.

Too bad flame wars and other pointless stuff has to be thrown around to taint the site.

 

[Oxide]

Oh, how sensitive we are.. Do you want a hug?

Honestly, guys, have you thought about modding this site? I know i could do it, but do i want to? HELL NO. Think about all the time these guys spend going throught this bullsh1t every single day, reading one worthless thread after another... and they dont get paid for it, instead they get flamed! This isnt some dream job guys...

Now, Gio, i am going to be honest with you bro, you have toned down the advice posting..remember like 2 years ago and all that "Nothing i cant handle?".. well now it is modding and flirting with penkitten and Gigalo I dont hold it against you, since priorities change. Gio has a sense of humor. People get offended becuase they are insecure. MOM, has Gio closed your threads before? Didnt think so.

Guys, mods here are angels comparing to some sites where mods blantanly say "You are an idiot. Do not post again". At least here we use sarcasm and try to help..

 

[MindOverMatter]

MOM, has Gio closed your threads before? Didnt think so.

My complaint had nothing to do with Gio closing or not closing my threads. It's the flames, flame-baiting, and threats that I had a problem with. There is a code of conduct ( http://www.sosuave.net/forum/register.php?s=&action=signup ), and moderators should be held to it just like members are. Obviously if he's gonna threaten to ban me for something that he himself does all the time, I'm gonna have a problem with it.

Anyway, this has already been talked to death, I've gotten a response from Allen, and now it's in his hands. As far as I'm concerned the matter is over.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Oxide
Now, Gio, i am going to be honest with you bro, you have toned down the advice posting..remember like 2 years ago and all that "Nothing i cant handle?".. well now it is modding and flirting with penkitten and Gigalo I dont hold it against you, since priorities change. Gio has a sense of humor. People get offended becuase they are insecure.

Hey Oxide... I don't think the advice posting has really been toned down per se, it's just that it takes a different form now. It used to be that I would post a tip or something in the tips section about some generalized concept or whatever. Now, instead of doing that, I respond to real problems that other guys are having.

It represents a core change in my philosophy -- namely, at one time I thought that all situations with women were essentially the same and that formulaic, structured approaches would work. A "one-size-fits-all" approach. Remember the "Rules"? Well, experience has shown me that not all women or situations or relationships are created equal and that sometimes similar situations have to be handled totally different depending on other factors. So instead of posting generalized tips, I respond to questions that others have with advice that is specific to their situation. And I think that helps a lot of guys learn why an approach is right in one situation where it might not be right in others. That gives them the skills that they need to handle situations on their own without coming to this site in crisis mode, screaming "wHAT dO i DO!??? 111ONEone!1?"

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Hey Oxide... I don't think the advice posting has really been toned down per se, it's just that it takes a different form now. It used to be that I would post a tip or something in the tips section about some generalized concept or whatever. Now, instead of doing that, I respond to real problems that other guys are having.

It represents a core change in my philosophy -- namely, at one time I thought that all situations with women were essentially the same and that formulaic, structured approaches would work. A "one-size-fits-all" approach. Remember the "Rules"? Well, experience has shown me that not all women or situations or relationships are created equal and that sometimes similar situations have to be handled totally different depending on other factors. So instead of posting generalized tips, I respond to questions that others have with advice that is specific to their situation. And I think that helps a lot of guys learn why an approach is right in one situation where it might not be right in others. That gives them the skills that they need to handle situations on their own without coming to this site in crisis mode, screaming "wHAT dO i DO!??? 111ONEone!1?"

That's the way that I see it too. I lurked on this site for a full year before I even got an account. At that time I too thought there was a formula. I was well versed in SS type patterns and the such, but it wasn't until I realized that no matter how many "lines" you memorize, you won't be prepared for every situation.

So my philosophy is the same as G's, I reply and pose questions to specific issues. Very seldom do I actually tell someone what to say specifically. Being a DJ is a lifestyle, a mindset or state of being. Either you are a DJ by your own terms or you are just 'acting' like one without authenticity.

But back to the original topic of this thread, I give mad props to the Mods. Would I like to be one? Nah... I prefer just a few members of the forum feeling that I'm an @sshole instead of most of them feeling that way.

:rockon: Rock On Mods:rockon:

 

[TACH]

Yeah, I wouldn't want to be a mod, especially with the way this forum has a constant ebb and flow of members, all repeating the same questions that were being asked 4 years ago... My hat's off to ya fellas.