relative hooking me up in a different state... tips?

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
908
Reaction score
297
A family member in good standing is steering me and her friend to meet and hopefully date, sincerely helping us both out.
She checks all the boxes for me, and lives two states away. My relative knows I want to move away from my present location, and understands.
I've never dated out of state before... anyone able to advise on this subject that has done this?

Any comments welcome, on your own experiences- good, not so good, bad, doesn't matter. Feel free to add basic stuff I may have forgotten from here.
I've been doing my thing in life, and ignoring women. But now I feel out of touch in male/female land.
We've talked some on social media and seems well, so far.
 

mjb3617

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2021
Messages
193
Reaction score
236
Age
39
Long distance is not worth it. I'd advise against moving just for her as well.

While she may check a lot of your boxes and seem highly interested, eventually the long distance will wear the relationship down unless you do move. If you move to her, you always have the inevitability of the relationship not working out.

Not worth it, IMO.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,519
Reaction score
2,811
Age
50
As a rule I don't recommend them but:
They do provide an opportunity to date publicly away from gossip and prying eyes (like when I was going through my divorce.)
There is definitely novelty each time you meet
Treat every date like it is the last one.
An LDR can work with a rotation back home or as a "girl in every port" situation if you travel.
Avoid LDR monogamy.

What worries me about your situation is you have local people invested in your "relationship" from the start. This is not helpful. they tend to meddle.

If you are going to visit this faroff woman, be sure she is sexually open enough to consummate on your first meeting. Set up logistics to ensure that even if it means getting a hotel room (and telling her you have one). Then build rapport through phone and facetime to accelerate the courting process...

I had a passionate LDR I met monthly for weekends as part of a rotation for a year and a half. It progressed to her staying with me for 60 days one summer, then 90 days the next summer then moving in with me 2 years ago. This is not typical. But for some reason it worked for us.
 

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
908
Reaction score
297
I messaged her last weekend, went okay, seemed to wonder if she'd hear from me again.. told her yes.
Liked a few of her posts, then she vanished off the radar. I went along, ignoring her. Will likely message her this afternoon... we'll see. Not counting on anything though. Think we all know how gamey, catty women are by now.
 

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
908
Reaction score
297
Lots of very little contact, I played along... I'm just goofing off with it anyway 'cause I don't much care.

She messages me a couple days ago "I’m a weirdo I bet it seems. Actually not weird just a half a bubble off". And then tells me about all the headaches she constantly has, etc. Seems all women have constant headaches after about 40 Lol... I'm tempted to just pass her up. She's pretty, but that doesn't trump unpredictable (or, is it?...) You guys know what I mean, I think.

Opinions? I seem to run into this a lot with women, esp. online. Headaches, "I'm a weirdo, maybe a little off"... I feel like they are advising me to leave them alone. :)
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,548
Reaction score
15,662
Lots of very little contact, I played along... I'm just goofing off with it anyway 'cause I don't much care.

She messages me a couple days ago "I’m a weirdo I bet it seems. Actually not weird just a half a bubble off". And then tells me about all the headaches she constantly has, etc. Seems all women have constant headaches after about 40 Lol... I'm tempted to just pass her up. She's pretty, but that doesn't trump unpredictable (or, is it?...) You guys know what I mean, I think.

Opinions? I seem to run into this a lot with women, esp. online. Headaches, "I'm a weirdo, maybe a little off"... I feel like they are advising me to leave them alone. :)
Haha...those headaches will become very frequent and a great excuse as to why you never have sex with her.
 

mrskinnypantz

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2021
Messages
447
Reaction score
337
Age
31
Going to a new state seems fun , I’d do it .
Especially if you plan on finding work immediately , that way you can eject easily and quickly if things go wrong
 

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
908
Reaction score
297
Been a long time since I was here on the site. I'd forgotten what I last posted.
In case it might teach something by my experience, I'll update the results of the subject.

I talked to relative's sis about all this and proceeded to get an education I had not expected, but thankful. They saved me a lot of trouble, possibly a lot more.

Seems the one facilitating the hook-up is shady af, before getting introduced to her friend I was to do her a little favor....
sounded shady as he'll... I heard a lot I didn't know, and also found it ironic that she wouldn't introduce us, nor would my potential love interest meet up with me without following their set parameters!

I felt like these two were cooking up a scene similar to the one in Beavis and Butthead do America LOL...
So I ditched them out of my life. Relative was always talking to me online, never face to face, turns out she lives right here close to me.
It hurt a bit, but it was a good family lesson, to know who is and isn't worth dealing with.
 
Top