Relationships can be very beneficial if you follow my rules

[cola]

Never get in a relationship with a woman you're infactuated with. If when she comes around you get butterflys and all that mushy stuff, she cant be your girlfriend. You are already too into her. Girlfriend should be someone you like, but not crazy about.

Make her do random favors to get her deeply invested. You dont get a girl hooked by doing things for her. You get her hooked having her do things for you. Have her do random errands, give her a grocery list or have her pick up your dry cleaning..


No mushy talk. No pet names, nothing soft. Leave that stuff to her

No random gifts. Only "gifting" is holidays/milestones she graduates college or gets a huge promotion or something like that, and keep the gift small. Let her buy her own expensive ****.

Limit her communication time with you daily. After 3-4 back and forth texts a day and 1 five minute phonecall end the conversation for today if not planning to meet.

No arguments. She says something rude you leave and do not answer calls for a couple days.

Brutal honesty. She asks a question answer it as concisely and honestly as possible. Does this outfit make me look fat? "Yes. It shows all your problem areas."

Never say I love you first.

Never double text/double call unless emergency.

She can never be top priority. Infact she is something like 4th or 5th. She can never come before Work or Health/fitness, nor family/lifelong friends until you marry her.

Never press her about her whereabouts.

Never go through her phone social media.


Never do anything you doubt she would do for you. I,e if she asks for money to fix car if the shoe was on the other foot and she wouldn't give it to you, dont do it for her


Never ask about her past.


Do not allow her to talk to you about ex's and never talk to her about yours.

As soon as you feel like your feelings are stronger than hers, distance yourself. Even if its true she can never know this.

Break up with her before she gets you. If she is distant, not calling much, rarely wants to hang? .. you know the end is near. Better you end it before her.

If sex is with held at any time other than health reasons, its a free pass to be with other women. Make sure you tell her this too. Witholding sex is emotinal abuse and manipulation. If she doesn't want to get cheated on she should do her part.

Try to get her out on a date atleast biweekly. Even if its just beer and wings at a bar and a walk with nice scenery.

And lastly
Be willing to walk at anytime.

 

[ubercat]

Good list. This would save a lot of guys trouble.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Spot on.

However, it's a soul-less existence to date a woman you don't have feelings for. The trick is to control how you act when you have feelings. There's simply no point in being exclusive with a woman you kind of like. That's my view. You're going to cheat if she doesn't knock your socks off. Exclusivity needs to be with a woman whom you have 90+% interest in that you gamed correctly for at least a few months.

 

[grayclif]

Good list. This would save a lot of guys trouble.

It should but the pum pum sometimes is just too good.

 

[skinnyguy]

Yup. The problem is that women these days have more options than we do. If you tell her to do your laundry she will probably say no cause guys are drooling all over her on Instagram and she thinks she is a princess.

I get dates relatively easily but to find a girl who is willing to settle down with a guy is like finding a unicorn these days. In fact I'm shocked when I find out that a guy is starting a relationship because I'm wondering how the woman decided that being with him was better than spinning plates and having freedom.

I used to believe that just walking away was a great strategy. But these days I don't think women care that much. They will just find another guy.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

The name of this thread is a relationship is beneficial if you follow those rules. But in the post you didn't tell us how a relationship is beneficial.

Can you tell me how a relationship is more beneficial then being single?

 

[Trump]

Never get in a relationship with a woman you're infactuated with. If when she comes around you get butterflys and all that mushy stuff, she cant be your girlfriend. You are already too into her. Girlfriend should be someone you like, but not crazy about.

It's "infatuated". But anyway I think you can. You can love and adore and get all mushy, as long its in the moment. All girls care about is right now and right now is important if you want to have sex with her. If you are not crazy about your girlfriend, how the heck are you going to have sex with her? Do you want a girl who is hot and attractive or do want a girl who cooks nice meals for you?

Make her do random favors to get her deeply invested. You dont get a girl hooked by doing things for her. You get her hooked having her do things for you. Have her do random errands, give her a grocery list or have her pick up your dry cleaning..

Agree.

No mushy talk. No pet names, nothing soft. Leave that stuff to her

No random gifts. Only "gifting" is holidays/milestones she graduates college or gets a huge promotion or something like that, and keep the gift small. Let her buy her own expensive ****.

I think mushy stuff and pet names are OK in front of her. As long as you don't VALUE her. If you value her and she FEELS it, then she will make your head spin. If you don't value her you can do whatever you want in the moment.

Limit her communication time with you daily. After 3-4 back and forth texts a day and 1 five minute phonecall end the conversation for today if not planning to meet.

No arguments. She says something rude you leave and do not answer calls for a couple days.

Brutal honesty. She asks a question answer it as concisely and honestly as possible. Does this outfit make me look fat? "Yes. It shows all your problem areas."

Communication is up to her.

Arguments only if she puts you down. She can't insult you and you leave it. She'll think you are uneducated.

No way brutal honesty. You not fact checking with her. You are dealing with female emotions that are more fickle than the weather. Positive constructive criticism is likely better.

Never say I love you first.

Never double text/double call unless emergency.

She can never be top priority. Infact she is something like 4th or 5th. She can never come before Work or Health/fitness, nor family/lifelong friends until you marry her.

Never press her about her whereabouts.

Never go through her phone social media.

OK on love you
OK on double call.
OK on work
Iffy on health/fitness
Can press her on whereabouts. Otherwise she will think you don't care/are dumb/uneducated.
Shouldn't go through anyone's phone at anytime.

Never do anything you doubt she would do for you. I,e if she asks for money to fix car if the shoe was on the other foot and she wouldn't give it to you, dont do it for her

Never ask about her past.

Do not allow her to talk to you about ex's and never talk to her about yours.

As soon as you feel like your feelings are stronger than hers, distance yourself. Even if its true she can never know this.

Break up with her before she gets you. If she is distant, not calling much, rarely wants to hang? .. you know the end is near. Better you end it before her.

If sex is with held at any time other than health reasons, its a free pass to be with other women. Make sure you tell her this too. Witholding sex is emotinal abuse and manipulation. If she doesn't want to get cheated on she should do her part.

Try to get her out on a date atleast biweekly. Even if its just beer and wings at a bar and a walk with nice scenery.

And lastly
Be willing to walk at anytime.

Bro these rules are too hard and fast. You can never say "never" in anything, especially when dealing with female emotions.

I think Poon King said it best; you have sex with her, SHE DEALS with the relationship. If you are dealing with the relationship she has the upper hand and you are done for.

 

[cola]

Yup. The problem is that women these days have more options than we do. If you tell her to do your laundry she will probably say no cause guys are drooling all over her on Instagram and she thinks she is a princess.

False. Thats where a lot of guys mess up. Women who admire you want to feel useful to your cause. And thats where a lot of guys mess up. The goal isn't to sleep with her. The goal is to gain her admiration, and she will give you her body and so much more. I've never had a girlfriend scratch that, even a regular plate, who at somepoint didnt do my laundry, grocery shop, decorate my bathroom or something.
After a sleep over, in the morning when we wake, I have a habit of saying "im going to take a shower, make the bed please".. the bed is always made when I return from the shower.
Try it. After date 2-3 start giving them tasks. Remember the more she does for you, the more invested she is. The more invested she is, the harder to leave. You HAVE to get them to do things for you if you want their adoration.
Also Id like to touch on the women have so many more options than us thing. That is false. Just today I went to run errands before work in the busy downtown. I saw 500 girls id bang in 2 hrs of running around. If i would have talked to 15 of them, one of them would have rode my **** carousel by the end of the week. I know this. So stop saying that. You have just as many options as she does. "But they have so many options" is just a limiting belief.

The most attractive quality to a woman is leadership and leaders delegate to people. So give her tasks to do.
Thats why so many marriages fail. The men start letting her delegate. A conversation between a married man and his wife should go
Husband: Ok, Im going to cut the grass and wash the cars. I need you to take the kids, go get the groceries and cook dinner then we'll all go to the movies tonight.

Wife: Ok.

But men dont talk to their wife like that anymore. The wife does the delegating and its backwards.

But in the post you didn't tell us how a relationship is beneficial.

Sure.
I'll answer that in a sentence.

"An ideal girlfriend should be like your male bestfriend with a vagina"..

It should be like hanging with your best bro. Everything you'd do with him you can do with her, but at the end of the night you get to shove your d*ck in her mouth. And if thats not the way your relationship runs, she shouldnt be your girlfriend.

 

[cola]

It's "infatuated". But anyway I think you can. You can love and adore and get all mushy, as long its in the moment. All girls care about is right now and right now is important if you want to have sex with her. If you are not crazy about your girlfriend, how the heck are you going to have sex with her? Do you want a girl who is hot and attractive or do want a girl who cooks nice meals for you?

(Cola) thank you for the correction. If spelling was a job id certainly be unemployed.

Agree.



I think mushy stuff and pet names are OK in front of her. As long as you don't VALUE her. If you value her and she FEELS it, then she will make your head spin. If you don't value her you can do whatever you want in the moment.

(Cola) Im just not into the "baby, sweetie,honey thing" it just seems soft to me. She can call me those things but I dont reciprocate. <-- hope i spelled that right.


Communication is up to her.

Arguments only if she puts you down. She can't insult you and you leave it. She'll think you are uneducated.

(Cola) I disagree. If she insults you, she wants to get a rise out of you. The truly confident would just smile at an insult or not even acknowledge it.
I just read that in "A guide to the good life -the ancient art of stoicism" and I concur. Thats the best way to piss off someone who insults you.

No way brutal honesty. You not fact checking with her. You are dealing with female emotions that are more fickle than the weather. Positive constructive criticism is likely better.

(Cola) Chick I deal with just lastnight asked me if I liked her hair. I said No with a straight face. Couple hours later she allowed me to sodomize her.
Ive lived a challenging 27 years on earth. Im not lying to anyone. Man, woman or child. You ask me a question you get looked in the eyes and told the honest truth. This is part of my own personal code of ethics.


OK on love you
OK on double call.
OK on work
Iffy on health/fitness
(Cola) Yeah. So im dedicated to the gym. Dont know about you but i'll never neglect working out over a woman. Id like to maintain my muscle as long as possible.

Can press her on whereabouts. Otherwise she will think you don't care/are dumb/uneducated.

(Cola) false. You press her about her whereabouts you look insecure. You can ask her whereabouts but never press the issue.

Shouldn't go through anyone's phone at anytime.



Bro these rules are too hard and fast. You can never say "never" in anything, especially when dealing with female emotions.

(Cola) Her emotions are not my concern. This is my life I make the rules of it. If I lose her following my rules <which I wont> so be it.

I think Poon King said it best; you have sex with her, SHE DEALS with the relationship. If you are dealing with the relationship she has the upper hand and you are done for.

(Cola) @Poon King is an imbecile. But he does make some statements that are true. I kind of am saying the same thing. Thats why I have rules such as no mushy stuff, going through her phone etc etc.

Thanks for your opinions buddy. I rebutled all your points in the above quote.

 

[Slash Dolo]

I disagree that you can't date someone you're infatuated with, but I get why you're saying it, as most guys lose their frame when a true beaut comes along. Better off being single and spinning if you aren't really invested though IMO, unless you're trying to trade up. Women LOVE men in relationships... the little drama queens.

 

[fastlife]

Solid post--and probably an improvement on the relationship models most men run. But two points I'd challenge you on:

1.) Re: Discussing her past. The only reason (I can think of) not to do this is insecurity. Yeah, you'll find out things you probably won't like--and if you have the slightest hint of blue pill Madonna/***** fantasies or are given to obsessive thoughts or jealousy, it might be better not to ask. But before I even sleep with a girl I want to know 1.) What her relationship with her parents is like, 2.) How her past relationships ended, and 3.) Whether she had a major party phase.

All 3 of those factors will manifest in her relationship with you--and you're placing yourself at a significant disadvantage not to take those things into account.

'Asking' isn't the best way to get this information, but a combination of talking about your own past and qualifying/disqualifying will usually prompt her to talk pretty openly and readily about her past--especially if yours is always a little more colorful than hers could possibly be.

2.) Re: Investmnent. I don't pretend to be a relationship expert--I'm much better at the short term, but having a girl overly invested is just as (maybe more) problematic as underinvestment. The level of her investment in you/your relationship correlates to the amount of drama she's likely to bring if her investment isn't rewarded in the way/timescale she expects and the amount of jealously/possessiveness you'll deal with.

I've gotten more mileage out of consciously slowing things down anytime I sense a girl is investing too much. The less invested she is (past the point of being invested enough to spend time with you and be on good behavior), the more freely she's able to act and the more fun you'll have.

That said, you have a strong sense of the boundaries (I.e. frame) that work for you--which is why it works--for you. Ultimately, though, I think every man is better suited to experiment & find his own boundaries according to the type of relationship(s) he wants for himself. Red pill truths are universal but they're given to an extremely wide range of applications.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Honestly, the greatest bit of advice you can give to a man when it comes to male-females relationships are this:

'Relationships can be very beneficial if you follow my rules.'

Meaning she follows your rules. You don't follow hers. The female is supposed to submit to the male. You can still make compromises to make stuff easier on the both of you (because it's also a rule of nature that all living organisms strive to expend the least amount of energy as possible), but all in all, follow your own morals, rules, instincts, etc. over anyone else's.

 

[cola]

Solid post--and probably an improvement on the relationship models most men run. But two points I'd challenge you on:

1.) Re: Discussing her past. The only reason (I can think of) not to do this is insecurity. Yeah, you'll find out things you probably won't like--and if you have the slightest hint of blue pill Madonna/***** fantasies or are given to obsessive thoughts or jealousy, it might be better not to ask. But before I even sleep with a girl I want to know 1.) What her relationship with her parents is like, 2.) How her past relationships ended, and 3.) Whether she had a major party phase.

All 3 of those factors will manifest in her relationship with you--and you're placing yourself at a significant disadvantage not to take those things into account.

'Asking' isn't the best way to get this information, but a combination of talking about your own past and qualifying/disqualifying will usually prompt her to talk pretty openly and readily about her past--especially if yours is always a little more colorful than hers could possibly be.

2.) Re: Investmnent. I don't pretend to be a relationship expert--I'm much better at the short term, but having a girl overly invested is just as (maybe more) problematic as underinvestment. The level of her investment in you/your relationship correlates to the amount of drama she's likely to bring if her investment isn't rewarded in the way/timescale she expects and the amount of jealously/possessiveness you'll deal with.

I've gotten more mileage out of consciously slowing things down anytime I sense a girl is investing too much. The less invested she is (past the point of being invested enough to spend time with you and be on good behavior), the more freely she's able to act and the more fun you'll have.

That said, you have a strong sense of the boundaries (I.e. frame) that work for you--which is why it works--for you. Ultimately, though, I think every man is better suited to experiment & find his own boundaries according to the type of relationship(s) he wants for himself. Red pill truths are universal but they're given to an extremely wide range of applications.

When I said discussing her past I moreso met sexual past. Like guys ask the famous question "So uhhhh.. how many guys have you been with?" Like shes really going to tell you the truth which is lame.
And they come up with these crazy numbers if she slept with more than 10 shes a hoe but 8 is ok.

Other than that good post. @fastlife

 

[Tenacity]

Cola,

You make some great points, but most of these are not hard-fast rules, these are personality differences. It's not what you say, it's HOW you say it and it's all about WHO is saying it. Which is why I preach that in terms of personality you can BE YOURSELF, but it needs to be your BEST self. If you are naturally laid back, don't try to be opininated, wild, crazy, and attention whoring like Tenacity is lol, instead be that cool, calm, smooth, mother****er.

Most of these rules are a reflection of Cola's natural personality, Tenacity wouldn't do many of these things because it's not a reflection of Tenacity. But here's the things I agree with you on:

Brutal honesty. She asks a question answer it as concisely and honestly as possible. Does this outfit make me look fat? "Yes. It shows all your problem areas."

She can never be top priority. Infact she is something like 4th or 5th. She can never come before Work or Health/fitness, nor family/lifelong friends until you marry her.

Never do anything you doubt she would do for you. I,e if she asks for money to fix car if the shoe was on the other foot and she wouldn't give it to you, dont do it for her

Try to get her out on a date atleast biweekly. Even if its just beer and wings at a bar and a walk with nice scenery.

If sex is with held at any time other than health reasons, its a free pass to be with other women. Make sure you tell her this too. Witholding sex is emotinal abuse and manipulation. If she doesn't want to get cheated on she should do her part.

Be willing to walk at anytime.

No random gifts. Only "gifting" is holidays/milestones she graduates college or gets a huge promotion or something like that, and keep the gift small. Let her buy her own expensive ****.

Make her do random favors to get her deeply invested. You dont get a girl hooked by doing things for her. You get her hooked having her do things for you. Have her do random errands, give her a grocery list or have her pick up your dry cleaning..

Here's where I disagree:

No mushy talk. No pet names, nothing soft. Leave that stuff to her

Never say I love you first.

I come out of the gate doing this shyt. It's not what you say, it's HOW you say it and it's WHO is saying it. A guy that a girl finds attractive and who she wants to sleep with, can get away by calling her "boo", "baby", "wifey", "saying I luv U so much", and when fvcking her saying he wants to "marry her a.ss".

But again, it's how you say it and these things come natural to my personality and might not come natural to another guy's personality.

As soon as you feel like your feelings are stronger than hers, distance yourself. Even if its true she can never know this.

Never get in a relationship with a woman you're infactuated with. If when she comes around you get butterflys and all that mushy stuff, she cant be your girlfriend. You are already too into her. Girlfriend should be someone you like, but not crazy about.

Cola I don't even understand this man lol, if I'm not "feeling a chick" why do I even want to be in a relationship with her?

If a chick looks like Ciara, Hoopz, or Paula Patton, you damn right I'm going to be feeling that bytch lol. I just don't take it over the top, I still maintain my natural backbone, personality, and I'm not about to start paying a chick's personal expenses, but I would be completely lying if I told you I didn't feel good being out with that chick and fvcking that chick. Does she feel as strongly? I really don't know, but as long as she's still "a plate", still going out with me, still fvcking me...then quite frankly it really doesn't matter.

Limit her communication time with you daily. After 3-4 back and forth texts a day and 1 five minute phonecall end the conversation for today if not planning to meet.

Never double text/double call unless emergency.

No arguments. She says something rude you leave and do not answer calls for a couple days.

Never press her about her whereabouts.

Never go through her phone social media.

- I text literally all day, every day. I also love to "cake" (sitting on the phone all night with a chick saying sexual/romantic shyt back and forth). But it works for me though cause I have the personality to carry this.

- I argue all of the time lol. IF a chick is doing something stupid or holds a position I disagree with, it's my DUTY to disagree because anything else is not keeping it real...and that's one of my strengths personality wise, it's the fact that I keep it real.

- If a main plate hasn't texted me all day, I'm going to text her/call her to see where the fvck she's at. And oh yeah, I'm going through her social media as well to see what type of fvck shyt she might be putting on there. What I do notice is that a chick could be broke as hell, but her posts on FB would make it seem like she's making $200,000 per year.

Never ask about her past.

Do not allow her to talk to you about ex's and never talk to her about yours.

Not with me. If this bytch used to be a man I WANT to know about it lol. These trannies can get a lot of shyt done to where you will not know the difference these days. Plus I want to know about ex-boyfriends because it shows me her judgment and how she's likely to treat me going forward.

Break up with her before she gets you. If she is distant, not calling much, rarely wants to hang? .. you know the end is near. Better you end it before her.

I have no issue being vulnerable. I believe in "make the hoe say no". Women have personal issues like I do, that make them just not want to be around anybody, fvck anybody, etc. Maybe she's going through something and doesn't want to be bothered?

The only time I'm nexting a chick like that is if she says, "Tenacity, I'm done fvcking with your a.ss, lose my number" and she MEANS it. If the bytch ain't said that, she's going to get at least 1 text a week until I get her a.ss back into the fold.

 

[cola]

@Tenacity all my post are based on what works for me. All are welcome to pick them apart and keep what works for them aswell and throw away what doesn't.

I want to touch on the infactuation part of my post, and get a little personal. I can't be with someone im crazy about. I don't know if its a psychological term but when I start liking a girl too much I distance myself.
Me + Being in love dont mix. Its not good for me or her.
But thats me. I can be in a awesome relationship with a girl I like a lot. But if I start thinking about her when shes not around and stuff I leave. But again thats me.
Relationships work better for me when her feelings are stronger than mine is what im trying to say.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Maybe I'm not understanding. Your saying the benefit of being in a relationship is that your ****ing your best friend? That doesn't seem like an intriguing benefit to me. I don't have to be in a relationship to "fvck" my "best friend".

Honestly, that doesn't sound like a benefit for me. Can you give me more benefits of being in a relationship that I cannot enjoy while being single?

 

[guru1000]

Cola, strong post.

It's important to bifurcate between "intent" and "action."

For example, I could tell a girl, "Hon, you are the best. I love you" and really mean, "Hey, I want to fvck your brains out and then you need to get out."

In any relation whether exclusive or not, you can pretty much get away with saying anything. The "intent"--and accordingly the way it comes across and is understood--is the material distinction.

 

[guru1000]

Honestly, that doesn't sound like a benefit for me. Can you give me more benefits of being in a relationship that I cannot enjoy while being single?

A strong benefit I see in being in exclusive relations is more time to tend to my business affairs instead of pursuing new tail. Plates drop off eventually when commitment is not on the table.

In any decision, there is a benefit/cost. There is no right or wrong answer as to what a DJ should elect to do. To each their own.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

DJ Bible Tier. Great Thread cola, a good summary of how to have a healthy LTR.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

One benefit of a real relationship LTR is that the person involved should have a high amount of concern for you, there should be trust and they should be facilitating you on the mission you are on and vice versa. Out in single land people serve themselves. It's up to you to find a good first mate to assist you upon your mission.