Drowning
Don Juan
Okay, first of all I'll give you a short background. My girlfriend and I got together last year and dated some through the summer until she dumped me before I went off to college. I came home for Winter Break a few months later and she all but jumped on me, telling me how sorry she was and how she wanted to get back together. I mulled it over for a couple of weeks, but eventually gave in. (Spare me the "Don't date your ex!" sermon. I know, I know.) I'm back at college and she's still in high school. We see each other once or twice a month but when we do it's great.
I have several questions. One, does the fifteen minute conversation rule still apply for a long-distance relationship where all you really have in the way of contact is a phone call? (And AIM, although I try to cut down on that since I like actually talking to her better.)
Second, she has a lot of guy friends, and even though I know she wouldn't cheat on me, her "friends" hit on her constantly and I sometimes get a little pissed off at them about it. (She likes telling me about when they do, trying to get me jealous. Unfortunately, it seems to be working.) Anyway, she brought it up the other night about how it's bothering her that I'm jealous of her friends and also that its her friends that help her when she's depressed and missing me. Lately, she hasn't been very talkative on the phone or the internet, and she's always tired from her new job or sick/hurt from some ailment or another. It seems like she's trying to get my attention, but I held an entire conversation with her last night where she used one-word responses to all of my questions/statements.
I've already resolved not to say anything about her friends, since being jealous and controlling is not the way to go. I try to tell myself that I am above that, and I've been trying to either ignore threads of conversation about them or just go with it like I've got no problem with it.
She still calls me all the time. In fact, my roommate complains about how many times a day she calls me. I might just be paranoid, but it feels like she's pulling away from me again. I try to use C&F and she goes "uh-huh" or "okay". I flirt and she does the same thing. It seems like I can't make her laugh AT ALL right now. WTF?!?!? I need some help to fix this, guys. I don't want to have to break up with her since she's been really fun and caring up to this point. I want to be together for a long time, but I don't know what to do. Please, help me. What do I do about her? What do I do about her friends?
I have several questions. One, does the fifteen minute conversation rule still apply for a long-distance relationship where all you really have in the way of contact is a phone call? (And AIM, although I try to cut down on that since I like actually talking to her better.)
Second, she has a lot of guy friends, and even though I know she wouldn't cheat on me, her "friends" hit on her constantly and I sometimes get a little pissed off at them about it. (She likes telling me about when they do, trying to get me jealous. Unfortunately, it seems to be working.) Anyway, she brought it up the other night about how it's bothering her that I'm jealous of her friends and also that its her friends that help her when she's depressed and missing me. Lately, she hasn't been very talkative on the phone or the internet, and she's always tired from her new job or sick/hurt from some ailment or another. It seems like she's trying to get my attention, but I held an entire conversation with her last night where she used one-word responses to all of my questions/statements.
I've already resolved not to say anything about her friends, since being jealous and controlling is not the way to go. I try to tell myself that I am above that, and I've been trying to either ignore threads of conversation about them or just go with it like I've got no problem with it.
She still calls me all the time. In fact, my roommate complains about how many times a day she calls me. I might just be paranoid, but it feels like she's pulling away from me again. I try to use C&F and she goes "uh-huh" or "okay". I flirt and she does the same thing. It seems like I can't make her laugh AT ALL right now. WTF?!?!? I need some help to fix this, guys. I don't want to have to break up with her since she's been really fun and caring up to this point. I want to be together for a long time, but I don't know what to do. Please, help me. What do I do about her? What do I do about her friends?
Although if this girl did initially break up with you, she didn't plan on being with you after you got outta high school. At least talk to her first man, then decide what you're going to do. If in fact you find out she has been doing all of those things, then go ahead and unleash all of that aggression and drop her just like Jester would. At least you'll know for sure how she feels.