Relationship getting a little boring...

[Impromptu]

Dear fellow mature men,

So young I am, and so much of the world I have yet to experience. And yet at the same time, while I can truly say that I deeply care about the one other person that's been with me for years, it seems to me that I'm growing a bit too fast for her. Recently, I've been progressing quite well in a lot of my goals and I've started to change as a person. I'm more spontaneous and more confident in everything I do. My ambitions have also broadened greatly.

She shows me love very unconditionally, cares for me a lot, and also depends on me so much. She would be the perfect girl that can raise kids, but I don't think I'll be ready for that for another twenty or so years.

My problem is that...I love her sympathetically. I would, without a doubt, risk a lot, perhaps my whole life just to know that she is well, but... I don't feel that she would provide for me the adventure that I'm looking for in life. There are so many things I want to do and so many places I want to go.

Being in college, I see beautiful girls all the time, and sometimes It makes me just want to have that feeling of being single again. I want to have that challenge of being able to seduce plenty of women.

All in all, I feel as if I'm hindering myself from living the way I want to, but then again, I have sincere compassion and sympathy for my other. I have not cheated, nor do I plan to while I am with her.

I know this sounds bad, but I'll be truthful. A lot of the times, I feel as if I need to satisfy my ego with other women.

I don't know what to do really.

Any advice from the older more experienced people?

 

[TheTrimReaper]

Well, I don't know how old you are. But if she's a good woman, I'll tell you what I'd do. Keep her because they are hard to find.

In my opinion, you are letting your ego run too much of your life.

Realize that your ego is what is motivating you to achieve all of these things you are achieving. For a man, an ego is a gift. But for a man in a relationship, it's a curse. Your ego will blind you when you are with someone. It may make you think that dating tons of girls is no problem. It may make you think that the woman you are with could never cheat on you because you are just so great. It may make you have sympathetic love for someone so you never have to love them deeply(egos are superficial).

There are a lot of benefits to living this way. And some people manage to live their whole lives by their egos. But the ego doesn't go very deep, so you live this neurotic life that never truly satisfies you. In the end, you turn to more and more outer sources of stimulation to get a certain feeling. But they never scratch the itch completely, do they...

My advice is to try and develop yourself so you can harness your ego to have all of the masculine conquests you desire, but at the same time, develop enough emotional maturity that you will take the risk of falling in love with someone. Real love.

 

[Impromptu]

Originally posted by TheTrimReaper
Well, I don't know how old you are. But if she's a good woman, I'll tell you what I'd do. Keep her because they are hard to find.

In my opinion, you are letting your ego run too much of your life.

Realize that your ego is what is motivating you to achieve all of these things you are achieving. For a man, an ego is a gift. But for a man in a relationship, it's a curse. Your ego will blind you when you are with someone. It may make you think that dating tons of girls is no problem. It may make you think that the woman you are with could never cheat on you because you are just so great. It may make you have sympathetic love for someone so you never have to love them deeply(egos are superficial).

There are a lot of benefits to living this way. And some people manage to live their whole lives by their egos. But the ego doesn't go very deep, so you live this neurotic life that never truly satisfies you. In the end, you turn to more and more outer sources of stimulation to get a certain feeling. But they never scratch the itch completely, do they...

My advice is to try and develop yourself so you can harness your ego to have all of the masculine conquests you desire, but at the same time, develop enough emotional maturity that you will take the risk of falling in love with someone. Real love.

I do agree with you that my ego has certainly taken over my mind recently, as I used to shun the over-influence that the ego usually has. Sometimes, however, I feel as if I'm too young to be stuck in this hard-to-find situation (as ironic as that sounds). I know that in the future (perhaps during my late 30s and early 40s), this is the kind of position that i'd want to be in...but then again, YOU'RE RIGHT. It IS my young ego that is telling me what I COULD be having rather than what I have right now.

Like you said: for a man, an ego is a gift. And right now I feel as if I want to fulfill that feeling and live as a man to my full potential.

I guess I'm too young to fully understand many things about real love right now, but I do have one question..

You said that an ego "may make you have sympathic love for someone so you never have to love them deeply." I didn't quite understand what you meant by that. I always thought that pure sympathy was a form of real unconditional love?

Anywhoo, thank you for the response.

 

[TheTrimReaper]

I know you want to live by your ego right now. And that's pretty easy to develop, just watch MTV. Life isn't binary though. You don't have to be all ego, or all emotion. You can learn to harness both your ego and your emotional side. But your gonna need more dedication, time and commitment to develop emotional maturity. That's why I would start now because it takes time.

 

[insidious]

Originally posted by TheTrimReaper
For a man, an ego is a gift. But for a man in a relationship, it's a curse. Your ego will blind you when you are with someone. It may make you think that dating tons of girls is no problem. It may make you think that the woman you are with could never cheat on you because you are just so great. It may make you have sympathetic love for someone so you never have to love them deeply(egos are superficial).

TR: Truer words have NEVER been spoken so eloquently.

I wish I had the "Mature Man" option when I was young and stupid.

 

[Swoop]

Sounds like you only care deeply about her but no longer in love with her. Deep down you know what to do.