Relationship Anxiety?

[TrickyD]

Hello all,

Just wanted to write and ask for a bit of advice/encouragement. I'm in a seemingly nice relationship (Going on 6 weeks now) but I've personally ran into a brick wall (so to speak).

I'd like to call it Relationship Anxeity. It's where you are constantly over-analyzing your relationship making sure that everything is just right to the point that it becomes noticable (especially in bed).

I had a really bad first relationship that lasted only 2 weeks (It was my first). It was a fling to her (rebound to be exact) but I became attatched immediately. When the fling was over -- it was pretty hreatbreaking and it set the standard for my relationships for many years to come.

As a result of all that, I became fearful of getting into LTR's. Reading the great advice on this site as well as learning from life's experiences helped me pick up women very easily but when I findi one that I really like I become overly critical and paranoid. I'm tired of feeling this way and want to enjoy what a LTR can offer.

Sorry for the length but I would appreciate any advice/encouragemnet you all can give...

Thanks!

 

[1utfan1]

Originally posted by TrickyD


I'd like to call it Relationship Anxeity. It's where you are constantly over-analyzing your relationship making sure that everything is just right to the point that it becomes noticable (especially in bed).

First problem, overanalyzing. We've all been guilty of this. You have the mindset that you have to do everthing perfect to impress her. Wrong bro, she needs to work to impress you. I hate to parrot the party line but check out the DJ Bible and the Book of Shuma gora (available by clicking the link at the top of the page).

I had a really bad first relationship that lasted only 2 weeks (It was my first). It was a fling to her (rebound to be exact) but I became attatched immediately. When the fling was over -- it was pretty hreatbreaking and it set the standard for my relationships for many years to come.

You need to start going into it with the mindset that your only dating. I think a majority of us have been the rebound guy at least once. Chalk it up to experience. Now you know what signs to look for to avoid being one again.

As a result of all that, I became fearful of getting into LTR's. Reading the great advice on this site as well as learning from life's experiences helped me pick up women very easily but when I findi one that I really like I become overly critical and paranoid. I'm tired of feeling this way and want to enjoy what a LTR can offer.

It seems your bent on getting into an LTR asap. I too used to be like that. I felt my life wasn't valid because I wasn't in one. I've since got past that. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find a 'good one' to have an LTR with but you need to shop around, sift through the flakes.

 

[decades]

rushing things won't make a LTR just happen. take things slow if you like a girl, and you may just end up with a LTR. if not, you won't have gotten all attached. I've been there. just slow down. no rush.

 

[disciple]

I think Persistent Exaction was right when he said to take it slow. Just see the relationship as it is and not how you romantisize it to be. Let it develop on its own and don't try to force anything.