Relapse

[zerocelcius]

In 2000 I was engaged to a girl who I got pregnant. She was amazing! October of that year She died in a car accident. She was a inspiration in my life more ways than one, and I can never forget her, nor want to.

However; every year this time (she died Oct 28) I think it mess' with me. I didn't think it still had an effect on me, but people have mentioned it to me. I broke up with my GF and she mentioned it to me. I made a statement to my mother yesterday and she mentioned it to me.

The way I have been talking to every girl I see isn't like me....

I bought plane tickets on a whim... I have been drinking more, ...

I also lost my best friend of 15 years a couple weeks ago.

I don't mean to vent but this is one place I can talk open and get advice from people I respect and are not family.

In a way I am a complete AFC over a Girl that is dead. In other ways it has made me disattached.

The only way I could put it is if you have ever fallen in love with a girl, than lost her for whatever reasons. Than down the road you just didn't accept anybody else in her spot. I turned to this sight to get out of the AFC rut of never wanting to lose a girl I cared about again. The bad thing was I really didn't care I just didn't want to lose. This sight has helped me a lot to find my real intentions and needs with relationships.

So I am turning to you guys again to help with the final step to moving on.

Some advice on stuff?

 

[Scirolase]

That's a tough one man, and you have my pity.

BUT you also have a kick in the ass from me.

The time you had with her was golden and great yes?

Obviously so from how you are talking about her. Love that ends like that I would imagine 'from the death of relatives and I know it isn't the exact same' has the ability to cloud one's judgements over life, we see the dead as near perfect at times, and well in your case I'd suggest you are seeing an angel!

I imagine she is though.

But would such an angel want you to keep living like this? Did she love this person you have become? From what I'm catching you are not the same man.

Again would she want this?

Now if you had died in a car accident and she lived, what would you of wanted her to do?

Mope?

Or live!

Live a life that she would be proud of!

It's what I do, every time I look at the moon I think of my uncle and think to myself I'm living for you too now. I'm going to do you proud!

And if there was no moon I'd think it anyways because the thought is there so strong with me.

Marsh I know but hopefully it makes sense to you.

 

[zerocelcius]

I appreciate you referring her to an angel! your a class act!

And thanks for the reply and kick. You are absolutely right, I could actually picture her looking at me with that look while reading your post...lol

She was amazing I think the child would have been as beautiful as her. If it didn't take after my ugly azz

YEA you are right she was so full of life and loved everything, and never took anything for granted. Nice reflection even in rippled waters.

Scirolase, Thanks!

 

[Scirolase]

If you made sense out of it you helped yourself amigo.

I was glad to be of 'assistance'

 

[zerocelcius]

My friend is dead.

 

[skip2mylou781]

I think what you posted in this thread is beyond "sosuave" advice

I will tell you some good news though:


My "girlfriend" right now (aka a girl I am banging), is completely in love with me, shes very happy, the whole 9 yards. Her mom died 6 years ago and she IS over it, HOWEVER she also tells me that on the date her mom died and on her mom's bdays she gets depressed (aka has a relaspse), so somehow she manages to get over it and lives her life. Your relapses will never end, they are part of the process of missing someone who you lost in the worst way possible. But listen to the 1st guy that replied - your angel wants you to be happy, so do everything you can to make yourself happy so she can smile upon you.

 

[luapmandragon]

Go on with your life but every October when its near the 28th just make sure to give yourself a week of alone time from family and friends as much as possible. Do some stuff on your own that you used to do with her. This way hopefully you can remember the good times and it'll save you the trouble of having to explain to everyone what is up with you all of a sudden.