Rejection - Learn to take a hint

[Jariel]

I see it so many times on this board when guys refuse to recognise a rejection. As a result, they continue holding out hope, invent imaginary excuses on the woman's behalf, and they keep persisting until they have no ounce of dignity left.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if a girl tells you she just wants to be friends, it's a rejection. If she ignores your call and doesn't return it, that's a rejection. If she refuses to accept a date, it's a rejection. If she feeds you some excuse about it being a difficult time, having a busy week etc, it's a rejection. Unless she makes a counter offer or specifically states she is still interested, take the hint, treat it as a rejection and move on without any fuss.

Learn to accept that women rarely reject guys outright and directly. They don't have the courage to do so, they don't like confrontation and, believe it or not, they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings.

If you start hounding her, persisting or pushing for a direct rejection or an explanation, your lack of dignity will turn her off for good. Likewise, if you burn your bridges by insulting her or firing back at her, there's no going back. It's pretty clear you are acting out of hurt and it makes you look like a stroppy, sulking brat who didn't get his own way. And what have you gained from this? Nothing!

Sure, rejection hurts, but don't be a drama queen about it; be a man and let it slide. For all you know she might just be having a bad day and may call back with a counter offer.

What's more, indifference is the one thing that will cause them to come running back. Withdraw your attention, remove yourself from her life and maybe she'll recognise the value of what she has lost and come to regret it.

Whatever context a rejection is meant, if she is interested she will get back to you. Otherwise, she is not interested.

 

[spider_007]

It's funny, A year ago, i was expecting to get a slap just for asking a gurll out. he he. Haw the times have changed.

If the things aren't going your way while talking to her, YOU CAN SMELL IT IN THE AIR. You can just tell that she is not feeling you....

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by Jariel
I see it so many times on this board when guys refuse to recognise a rejection. As a result, they continue holding out hope, invent imaginary excuses on the woman's behalf, and they keep persisting until they have no ounce of dignity left.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if a girl tells you she just wants to be friends, it's a rejection. If she ignores your call and doesn't return it, that's a rejection. If she refuses to accept a date, it's a rejection. If she feeds you some excuse about it being a difficult time, having a busy week etc, it's a rejection. Unless she makes a counter offer or specifically states she is still interested, take the hint, treat it as a rejection and move on without any fuss.

Learn to accept that women rarely reject guys outright and directly. They don't have the courage to do so, they don't like confrontation and, believe it or not, they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings.

If you start hounding her, persisting or pushing for a direct rejection or an explanation, your lack of dignity will turn her off for good. Likewise, if you burn your bridges by insulting her or firing back at her, there's no going back. It's pretty clear you are acting out of hurt and it makes you look like a stroppy, sulking brat who didn't get his own way. And what have you gained from this? Nothing!

Sure, rejection hurts, but don't be a drama queen about it; be a man and let it slide. For all you know she might just be having a bad day and may call back with a counter offer.

What's more, indifference is the one thing that will cause them to come running back. Withdraw your attention, remove yourself from her life and maybe she'll recognise the value of what she has lost and come to regret it.

Whatever context a rejection is meant, if she is interested she will get back to you. Otherwise, she is not interested.

I copied this entire post here because everyone should read it at least twice.

 

[Porky]

Originally posted by Jariel
If she ignores your call and doesn't return it, that's a rejection. If she refuses to accept a date, it's a rejection. If she feeds you some excuse about it being a difficult time, having a busy week etc, it's a rejection. Unless she makes a counter offer or specifically states she is still interested, take the hint, treat it as a rejection and move on without any fuss.

Your intentions in making this thread are good, but I really feel as though you're accepting defeat too easily. If she doesn't return one call it could be for a variety of reasons. If she tells you she is busy one week and doesn't make a counter offer, it just may not have occured to her to do so. Give her a couple of opportunities to say no and a couple of phone calls to not return.

like I said, good intentions, but you're advising people to quit too soon.

 

[ikkenai]

Fantastic post, but porky also makes a good point. Expecting the worst gets you nowhere.

 

[smoke city]

Your dignity should not depend on your relations with women.

I agree with porky. you have to be persistent -- women have lots of reasons for "rejecting" men who they really want...a lot of times it's because of fear of some kind of judgment (i.e. thinking of herself as a slut) or emotional hurt.
women are not like us. our only criterion for choosing to go out with women is how sexy or hot they are. for women, it has much more to do with how they "feel"...about you, the situation, themselves...why do you think it's easier to pick up women in the supermarket than in the bar??
The point is -- women want a guy who is consistent, controlled, and solid in his beliefs and convictions...not a wimp who "reads into things" or freaks out and runs away when she gets a little flaky or ambiguous. It's YOUR job to let her know everything's ok...she's actually looking to YOU for cues as to how comfortable she should be with you in any given situation.
guys who really believe they DESERVE to get the girl know this, and act on this belief. and guess what?
{guys who believe they deserve it} = {guys who get laid}

 

[white cloud 8]

Re: Re: Rejection - Learn to take a hint

Originally posted by Porky
Your intentions in making this thread are good, but I really feel as though you're accepting defeat too easily. If she doesn't return one call it could be for a variety of reasons. If she tells you she is busy one week and doesn't make a counter offer, it just may not have occured to her to do so. Give her a couple of opportunities to say no and a couple of phone calls to not return.

like I said, good intentions, but you're advising people to quit too soon.

I have to agree as well because some girls do that just to see how interested you actually are, how far you'll go.

 

[bud_2005]

I also agree you are accepting defeat too quickly at times. Have you ever heard of playing hard to get?

 

[mactheripper]

Originally posted by Jariel
As a result, they continue holding out hope, invent imaginary excuses on the woman's behalf...

...For all you know she might just be having a bad day and may call back with a counter offer.

Somewhat a contradiction there. I see your point, sometimes we don't know the full story, but often times if a women really does want to get to know you better she won't let trivial crap get in the way.

 

[PeoplesChamp]

I see both sides of the argument here and think the key to both is your ability to read people--specifically women. The Further you get from AFC status the better you get at this so in theory it's a problem that should resolve itself...eventually. The enemy is one-itis. If you see it as a numbers game...women are very expendable.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by bud_2005
I also agree you are accepting defeat too quickly at times. Have you ever heard of playing hard to get?

you can play hard to get, however he has a point that there has to be a line in which you decide not to pursue any further and take a hint she doesnt like you.
by playing hard to get like bud says, she doesnt know if you like her that much and might chase you.

 

[Jariel]

Personally, I don't view it as accepting defeat any more, I see it as her missed opportunity. Afterall, I'm "the prize", and you guys should start thinking the same way.

When I ask a girl out, I like to see her get flustered or hear the excitement in her voice as she accepts.

A woman who has a valid excuse, but high interest in you, will make sure you know it's a valid excuse! She will not want her opportunity to pass by.

 

[mactheripper]

Originally posted by PeoplesChamp
The enemy is one-itis. If you see it as a numbers game...women are very expendable.

Instant desperation killer right there! Bravo!!! :woo: