Rejected due to being able to flirt with women

[typical]

Yup you read it right, I gamed this girl working in the store directly in front of the store I'm managing (in a mall), got the number had a lunch date set it was all in the green. Then today a fellow female colleague of mine who is really good friends with this girl from across the street tells me that even though I've got her number and will be having lunch with her that day that I'm going to get the LJBF line. This is due to the fact that she has seen me flirt and talk to many many many women in my store and she has even asked her friends that work in the other stores to keep an eye on me.

And true to my friends word I got LJBF'd, I told her plain and simply that I don't do friends as most of my female friends fall in love with me over time and it gets too complicated, she was taken back at this. We went our own ways after lunch no more texts nothing, but I still keep seeing her gawking at me when she's working from her store.

So I asked my friend whats up with her and she basically said that I'm way too flirtatious and talkative to everyone especially other women and that I hug and kiss (on the cheek) too much. Also found out that she was in a very bad relationship with a guy that had her pinned under her thumb and that she may have very low self esteem (the woman is drop dead gorgeous). but it does add up because she always makes sure she looks immaculate while at work, might need the attention she gets to boost her self esteem. Also found out that said girl was absolutely flattered that I took interest in her but the way I talked to other women made her very insecure.

This has to be the first time I've been rejected due to being able to talk to women, I remember in highschool at age 15 it was due to being socially awkward, guess the tables have turned.

Anyone else have a similar story, I would love to bang this woman, any advice on how to proceed ?

 

[betheman]

is this 'freind' female?

 

[PlayHer Man]

Never take dating advice from women. That's like a Lion taking hunting advice from a gazelle. :crackup: :crackup:

Listening to women is the stupidest thing a man can do. Its also very beta.

Regarding your situation. Seems this girl is not sure what category to put you in yet. So she is shying away. Since you demonstrate alpha qualities and seem "good with women" yet demonstrate beta qualities by listening to advice from women.. she wants to know the true deal.

She is "watching you" because she suspects you are a beta poser playing PUA games. She is trying to figure out how best to deal with you (of what use you are to her).

Women don't flip-flop and play games with men they are sure about and feel intense attraction for. They only play games with betas so they can decide whether to friend zone them or date them.

Here is the breakdown:

Alpha = Instant sex + Relationship if she is so lucky
Beta = Friendship or Serious relationship (depending on the type of beta)

 

[plate's_empty]

Never take dating advice from women. That's like a Lion taking hunting advice from a gazelle. :crackup: :crackup:

Listening to women is the stupidest thing a man can do. Its also very beta.

Regarding your situation. Seems this girl is not sure what category to put you in yet. So she is shying away. Since you demonstrate alpha qualities and seem "good with women" yet demonstrate beta qualities by listening to advice from women.. she wants to know the true deal.

She is "watching you" because she suspects you are a beta poser playing PUA games. She is trying to figure out how best to deal with you (of what use you are to her).

Women don't flip-flop and play games with men they are sure about and feel intense attraction for. They only play games with betas so they can decide whether to friend zone them or date them.

Here is the breakdown:

Alpha = Instant sex + Relationship if she is so lucky
Beta = Friendship or Serious relationship (depending on the type of beta)

^^^This

So, girl from across the street had initial attraction for you. It seems girl you worked with c0ck blocked you. Probably told your girl "he flirts with everyone, he's a player, you should just be friends with him" In turn, girl from across the street said LJBF's to you, out of advice and simple loyalty to her friend. Colleague then tells you that it was all the other girls decision, because of what YOU do. It sounds like your colleague is jealous and trying to sabotage you.

Well, what she thinks is sabotaging, is, I feel, doing the opposite, I feel it raised your value, and girl from across the street wants a shot at you. In this case just because she said LBJF it doesn't mean she neccesarily feels that way.

Looking back in that scenario, if you know it's coming, you should friend zone her first, beat her to the punch if you can. It will get her hamster spinning. And if you don't do it first, go along with it, "sure we can hang out and see if we'd make good friends." That way, she has an excuse: "we went out as friends, but you know, things just happened"

Your colleague is no different than any other conniving, narcissistic woman. Keep her at an arms length, and don't ever trust her. And keep doing what you're doing (flirting with other girls). This may actually be the reason you got the number in the first place.




EDIT:

got the number had a lunch date set it was all in the green. Then today a fellow female colleague of mine who is really good friends tith this girl from across the street tells me that even though I've got her number and will be having lunch with her that day that I'm going to get the LJBF line.[/B]

I was all good until her "friend" stuck her nose into it. Enough said.

Hopefully you fvck this girl across the way.

 

[nismo-4]

Never take dating advice from women. That's like a Lion taking hunting advice from a gazelle. :crackup: :crackup:

Listening to women is the stupidest thing a man can do. Its also very beta.

Regarding your situation. Seems this girl is not sure what category to put you in yet. So she is shying away. Since you demonstrate alpha qualities and seem "good with women" yet demonstrate beta qualities by listening to advice from women.. she wants to know the true deal.

She is "watching you" because she suspects you are a beta poser playing PUA games. She is trying to figure out how best to deal with you (of what use you are to her).

Women don't flip-flop and play games with men they are sure about and feel intense attraction for. They only play games with betas so they can decide whether to friend zone them or date them.

Here is the breakdown:

Alpha = Instant sex + Relationship if she is so lucky
Beta = Friendship or Serious relationship (depending on the type of beta)

Read this over and over again. Pokémon don't teach you how to catch Pokémon.

Case closed.

 

[typical]

Thank you, its clear I've been away from this site too long and have started to lapse back into a loser.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Good girls avoid players. I've seen it many times. They are like 1% of the population though. What is more common is very hot but insecure girls that will not date a "threat" because of their rejection phobia, Cluster B women that date men that will let then get away with murder, and Type A women that date weak men they can control

Correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't this involve logical thinking on her part?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Never take dating advice from women. That's like a Lion taking hunting advice from a gazelle. :crackup: :crackup:

Listening to women is the stupidest thing a man can do. Its also very beta.

This should be a sticky. Do not ever, ever, EVER take a woman's dating advice at face value.

 

[Bokanovsky]

So, girl from across the street had initial attraction for you. It seems girl you worked with c0ck blocked you. Probably told your girl "he flirts with everyone, he's a player, you should just be friends with him" In turn, girl from across the street said LJBF's to you, out of advice and simple loyalty to her friend. Colleague then tells you that it was all the other girls decision, because of what YOU do. It sounds like your colleague is jealous and trying to sabotage you.

Repped.

 

[sharkbeat]

Prime example of getting rejected by not because of what you did wrong, but of what she did wrong.

 

[Jitterbug]

You got stabbed in the back by your colleague.

As for the other girl, she basically just admits that she has a weakness for someone like you. Persist and you shall succeed.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

Yep, this one is far from over. So she had decided before your date that she would just LJBF you? Total logical thinking which doesn't really align with how she is really feeling. This girl is very attracted to you. Don't engage in any friendship behaviors, keep flirting with other girls, flirt with her from time to time, and an opportunity will present itself. Don't force it though. Just allow it to happen. That's my zen advice.

 

[jjacob]

It's all smoke and mirrors. It's great hearing advice from women that wish to influence you, tells you exactly what not to do. Sit back and watch them in their panty-wetting rage as you blatantly ignore their ****

 

[Wolfgang D]

Getting a bad reputation is a serious risk for anyone who does a lot of approaches, which we have to since it is a number's game. When rumor spreads that you will hit on any girl, no girl can start dating you. She knows her friends would look down on her. Even if she would personally like you, she can't take things further. She will also suspect - know - that it is all an act on your part. That what seemed like charming qualities and a sudden attraction to her when you met was pretended, not a reflection of who you really are.

It is unfair, because of course we can't just "be ourselves" and "act natural", meaning not using game. Women also fake it by using makeup, arranging their hair in the best way, acting in a certain way when talking to the most attractive guys. But they don't have to approach and cold open many times like a guy needs to do unless he's a real hunk. Or unless he wants to go without women for years, only meeting one who will go out with him accidentally at some point.

But the girls don't think of that. They don't want a guy who is fake, period. A girl can't let her friends know that she has slept with a guy who hits on "just anyone", her reputation would take a nose dive. Basically you're screwed in that scene.

The way to avoid it but still spin plates, I suppose, is to only work cold opens in the bar scene where it is expected. But even there you have to be careful, and should preferably avoid cold opens, only hitting on women who you get to know through friends and their friends. Even at the bar you can come to be known as that guy who will hit on any girl who walks through the door, even though meeting up with women is the primary reason guys will go to a bar. Imagine then the result if you are known as the guy who will cold open anyone in daytime - for example at the mall. Girls watch TV, they "know" that the only boy-meets-girl situation in daytime should be the accidental bumping into each other, as if by fate. Not a guy moving around in the same area for hours like a shark.

I don't expect many visitors at SoSuave to understand this, because they will never be in that situation. Perhaps twenty percent of posters will actually understand and try game for real, and perhaps twenty percent of those will be good at it and do it for a longer time. That is when you start discovering this new topic - a bad reputation.

 

[zekko]

Honestly, I'm surprised we don't see more posts like this on SoSuave. But it seems to go against the idea that PUAs so often preach, that what women really want are players. Of course if this were really true, why do so many players try so hard to hide the fact that they are players from the women they are trying to seduce?

 

[plate's_empty]

But the girls don't think of that. They don't want a guy who is fake, period. A girl can't let her friends know that she has slept with a guy who hits on "just anyone", her reputation would take a nose dive. Basically you're screwed in that scene.

I agree with this 100%. I have a friend who, usually when drunk, will do this exact thing, until he finds one. He has slept with more women than anyone I have ever heard of, except for Wilt Chamberlain and Geraldo Rivera But he doesn't have very high standards and will settle for a 5 or a 4, it doesn't matter to him. High quality women are just a pain in the ass to him, so he actually goes for the 5 to 7 range on purpose, easier targets, he just wants to get laid. And it works, but, the higher quality ones will see him hitting on a 5 so they'll automatically write him off, and frankly he just doesn't care.

I feel this scenario is somewhat different, he's working at a job where women are coming up to him, he's basically being paid to be social and friendly...right OP? I don't think he's necessarily hitting on them, rather than being friendly and flirty.... Somewhat like a bartender or waitress will do with her customers. But yeah, he may want to tone down the hugs and/or kisses on the cheeks. As long as theyr'e coming to him, while he's working, what can he do??

 

[backbreaker]

Honestly, I'm surprised we don't see more posts like this on SoSuave. But it seems to go against the idea that PUAs so often preach, that what women really want are players. Of course if this were really true, why do so many players try so hard to hide the fact that they are players from the women they are trying to seduce?

IMHO it's all schematics

I don't think women, any woman for the most part sets out to find a player. But players have traits, social skills, style, game, that make them attractive, despite their propensity to talk to other women


Let's reframe the situtation. Let's say that this is not a chick who he wants to date, but a client who he wants to get money from / complete a project for.

He meets the client, all goes well, the OP starts working on the project.

someone who for whatever the reason may be, tells the client that the OP is ****ty at his job and is going to do a bad job. Doesn't matter if it's true or not, this is what is said.

Now, the client takes caution and brings this up to the OP, but at the same time, the OP doesn't have a bad experience at all yet with the client and so the client is kinda on pens and needles. There is obviously something about the OP's work the client likes and the OP has done nothing wrong yet


THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO IN THIS SITUATION, is throw a hissy fit or beg or rationalze or explain. it won't work beucase in the clients mind all you are confirming what the other person says

all you have to d;o in this situtation is say look, you've worked wioth me and you haven't had any problems out of me yet have you, would you not say that you are a great judge of chracter (emphaize their own personal decision making not their friends or another clients)? I tell you what, let me just keep working and if you like the work just pay me when i'm done no muss no fuss. if you don't like it, don't pay for it. which is no different than anything I do anyway lol, but you've just re framed the point back to saying that if you don't like what i do you don't have to pay for it.

i actually had this happen to me verbatim 2 months ago and the guy ended up being the best reference i've had in a while, had i thrown a hissy fit we never would have finished the project

that's how you attract this chick.

And true to my friends word I got LJBF'd, I told her plain and simply that I don't do friends as most of my female friends fall in love with me over time and it gets too complicated, she was taken back at this. We went our own ways after lunch no more texts nothing, but I still keep seeing her gawking at me when she's working from her store.

you played this wrong. she was attracted to you for a reason and regardless of what a chick says if you play your game right she will come around. women are fickle. she didn't LJBF you because she doesn't like you she did so because her friend **** blocked you and you doubled down it and now she can't go back on her word because you talked too much and ****ed it all up lol.

same way i deal with white women who aren't into black guys, same way i deal with girls who aren't in to "short" guys. the fact that it rolls of your back speaks more volumes than any rebuttal or explanation that you can possibly come up with and says more about your inner game / character


in short this is a LJBF I wouldn't take seriously beucdse it's not her own personal LJBF. it's not like you put a move on her and she just isn't attracted to you she doesn't know you well enough to form her own opinion of you yet. she doesn't know if she is attracted to you yet or not like that. this would have went in one ear and out the other. this is no different than the "i don't **** on the first date" girl. she may not, but i don't that **** into account when i'm on the first date.

 

[Sandow]

I get the "Are you a player" questions, and IMO it has never negatively affected my chances with hooking up. In fact, the question usually only comes up while were making out or done doing something else. However, when it comes to relationships, it definitely has. They aren't sure about me, they heard from all their friends that he's a player, you're just going to get hurt, etc. Being a player isn't a blueprint for success, there are just some girls who aren't gonna want to get involved in a relationship with person like this (but physically yes).

Look at it from our eyes, are you willing to hook up with the a hot, slutty babe that fcks like a pornstar? Yes. Are you gonna want to start a committed trustworthy realtionship with her. Hell no (if you have any brains).

 

[typical]

That is right, I'm paid to be friendly and open, the stores primary clientele is women and not the average looking women but women that stand out in a crowd and are willing to shell a weeks worth of wages/salary on our products. I actually have two jobs but I have to keep it vague because NZ is a very small country and I would become very easy to track down if I started to name places and stores.

So yes I'm very very aware of getting a bad reputation, but I'm also aware that to be able to meet sales targets etc I have to be willing to put myself out there and get things done. I don't go out and cold approach women day and night because I have the social skills to talk with anyone I want and I only approach women that I find attractive not 5's and 6's but 7's and higher ... sh!t I don't have the time for going to a public place and cold approaching a bunch of women, gym and work take nearly all of it, BUT all I need is 5 mins of time and I can work wonders with a woman, and that's thanks all to sosuave and the book of pook.

I'm going to take your words into account BB and play it cool, I know for a fact that she's heavy into me but my co(k blocking workmate may just have screwed me over .Actually she has as I recently found out (my spies are good very good, thank you 48 laws) that she and the girl across the hallway are very tight ........ almost like sisters. Also I know that everyone that works in her store keeps an eye on me, I can feel them watching me, its a bizarre feeling I would compare it to what women must feel when they are being watched by some AFC that's too afraid to make a move yet he has all his friends keep an eye on his dream girl. The reversal of roles is mind boggling.

I'm going to manufacture a reason to bump into her and see what happens, but in the end no matter what happens it will be her loss because I know for a fact she won't ever meet any guy half as awesome as me ............. unless another sosuave poster hits her up hahaha.

 

[Jitterbug]

Look at it from our eyes, are you willing to hook up with the a hot, slutty babe that fcks like a pornstar? Yes. Are you gonna want to start a committed trustworthy realtionship with her. Hell no (if you have any brains).

We typically don't make a rational decision in this domain.

Logically, no, commitment to such a girl isn't a good idea in the slightest, but I bet it somehow feels riiiiiight to make her your personal slvt while you're banging away...