rejected by someone who wasn't that hot. why does this always bother me?

[starfishandcoffee]

so I had dinner with a girl last night who was probably a 6 (7 in my eyes because she had a few quirks I found really attractive). This was last minute, so I ducked out early and went to a show I'd initially planned with a few friends. One of the best nights out I've had in a while, got a couple of numbers, blah blah.

anyway, when I woke up this morning, I was greeted with an "I'm not interested, yadda yadda" text message. I was a little miffed -- I viewed her as guaranteed poon because she wasn't that hot, but why is this bothering me so much? I'm dating a lot lately, but having an 8 or a 9 reject me doesn't irk me half as much as having a 6 do it.

 

[MisterD]

because when you run into a less attractive girl, you think it's in the bag. you think you're doing her a favor by dating her, and that she'll repay you by banging. but when she rejects you, you feel like wtf, i was giving you a mercy date. when hotter chicks turn you down, you feel it's ok because she probably has many high quality guys chasing her

 

[Deep Dish]

One thing which can happen when you aim below your league is the pre-emptive rejection. They know you’re too high above their league, so they don’t trust your motives, they know you’re just going to dump them, so they ditch you instead.

 

[yuppaz]

It doesn't mean she has lots of other options, she could but you can't assume that. It also doesn't mean you are less now then you were then. It just shows you that different people are attracted to different things. Just like you should be.

If you want to, you could always text her:

"Thanks for letting me know early on, I do appreciate that. I am curious though as to why you made that decision. Do you mind sharing with me? I am curious if there is something that I was / am doing on dates that I am not aware of"

It's over, so it doesn't hurt and if you are respectful, she may be willing to tell you something that you didn't notice about your behavior. I would only text that though if you are willing to let things be when she responds. Who knows, she may say that she saw you hitting on other chicks, or that she was pissed because you bailed early, or that she can do better...??? If you are big enough to handle constructive criticism it could help you out.

 

[Single4Life]

She's a 6.

You bailed on her early. That hurt her and she is just ending it now because she doesn't think you like her. Remember, all girls are insecure, but a 6 is a different type of insecure. Over analyzes everything and not enough confidence.

 

[st_99]

One thing which can happen when you aim below your league is the pre-emptive rejection. They know you’re too high above their league, so they don’t trust your motives, they know you’re just going to dump them, so they ditch you instead.

Do you think that really happens? I've heard that before but have trouble believing it simply because i'd never blow off a dime because i thought i wasnt good enough. I may act like a wuss, but not ditch her. LOL.

 

[PapiChulo]

All the answers above are very logical in my opinion, and I don't think it is the case here. She may just be getting a bad vibe about you and feeling that something is off for any other reasons above. It is all about how you make her feel and physical compatibility. If she indeed senses she is gonna be a pump-and-dump....

 

[starfishandcoffee]

Let me add a couple more things just to clarify a bit --

- This was a followup date. We met at a bar for date 1, she was there with her friend, and it was a little weird (mainly because I got along a hell of a lot better with her uglier friend). While we didn't have a lot of rapport, she was very eager to follow up and I guess I felt I'd humor her short notice before going out.
- We had dinner at her place - we're talking a dinner which she made for the both of us, and expressed interest in making one together the week after. Maybe I was reading into it too much, but most girls I know don't just make dinner for a guy they're not interested in.

 

[nismo-4]

:cheer: Post Number 1,900!!!:cheer:

Another exhibit for the fact that women control the dating, love, sex, and companionship game!

All women have options. Even the fattest, ugliest, oldest of women have options, often times more than men. Mostly because lots of guys think that any love is better than no love, and they'll be desired as long as they have at least ONE woman.

A woman has a far easier time getting a man out of her league than a man does getting a woman out of his league.

When a 3-5 gets options, she suddenly thinks she's a 8!

I'm careful of women who approach me because they're usually:
1. Strippers
2. Hookers
3. Golddiggers
4. Flakes
5. Teases
6. Taken
7. Attention wh0res

If a woman approaches you, remember that she's got options and can replace you faster than you can replace her. All it takes is for her to get a better looking man, whether physically or financially, to talk to her.

Case closed.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

- We had dinner at her place - we're talking a dinner which she made for the both of us, and expressed interest in making one together the week after. Maybe I was reading into it too much, but most girls I know don't just make dinner for a guy they're not interested in.

She planned a romantic dinner and you blew her off and left early. She then rejected you out of spite, simple as that.

 

[J Roc]

who cares? shes a f*ckin 6!!

 

[yuppaz]

Nismo - you don't know that. I swear some of the sh*t you come up with is complete crap. I know you say things with conviction, so some guys will listen to you, but i hope not. You have a defeatist view of dating....

 

[Zerro]

One thing which can happen when you aim below your league is the pre-emptive rejection. They know you’re too high above their league, so they don’t trust your motives, they know you’re just going to dump them, so they ditch you instead.

Do you think that really happens? I've heard that before but have trouble believing it simply because i'd never blow off a dime because i thought i wasnt good enough. I may act like a wuss, but not ditch her. LOL.

Yeah but you're not a woman.

She planned a romantic dinner and you blew her off and left early. She then rejected you out of spite, simple as that.

And this is the best answer. Finding out that this was dinner at her place greatly changes the context of the situation. I'd be pissed too if I had a chick come over and then she just bailed on me and left. Here text is just to let you know to never call her again.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Had a fatty hang around after she got off of work, approaching me when she saw me in the parking lot (still at work) and asking me if I was there for her. I said, "No, I'd had a late call from someone else." She has been oogling me for months, but I could never guys, be seen with her, and if I fvcked her, and of course, left her, then it would ruin relations with her employer and me, otherwise, I'd fvck her fat as5 cause she obviously is seeing stars or hearts in her eyes. I let her know this afternoon that between me and her, it's strictly business calling her by her last name only. I was trying to get away and keep it brief, but that made it worse. She's intelligent, no doubt, but she probably has her job through connections more than schooling. Don't we all pretty much though?

 

[TonyBaloney]

Nismo - you don't know that. I swear some of the sh*t you come up with is complete crap. I know you say things with conviction, so some guys will listen to you, but i hope not. You have a defeatist view of dating....

Your rep is seriously goin down, down, down Nismo - complete pessimistic s h i t you talk thw hole time - that fookin s h i t list that you keep repeating is instilling negs into alot of minds.

I was only reading it last night....and started to think "yeah all women are c unts" - then today her in London, England, it was NOT raining and I spent alot of time on the street doing works on my motor, and have initiated with two new plates, and have heard about an old plate whos still heartbroken over me.

Nismo, the judiciary are meant to be unbiased - get your butt back to law school..................

 

[cablecow15]

One thing which can happen when you aim below your league is the pre-emptive rejection. They know you’re too high above their league, so they don’t trust your motives, they know you’re just going to dump them, so they ditch you instead.

this , i cant tell you know many girls i found attractive , but they would never trust me because they thought i was to out of their league , defiantly opened my eyes to how little credit i gave myself