Reinitiating contact after no-response text

[supCALI]

I had a date with a girl last Thursday and I wasn't as aggressive as I should have been and I made a couple of mistakes but it felt good overall to the point where a second date with escalation was within my grasp. I want to reestablish contact since it's been 4 days since I heard from her.

On the following Saturday evening I texted her.

Me:Hey [name], hope you made that test your b!tch! I had a great time with you Thursday - you're very pleasant to talk to. Are you free for dinner tomorrow evening?
(3 minutes later)
Girl: Sure I like talking to you too as friends that'd be really cool
(Thrown off by her use of the word "friends" I overreacted and didn't end up texting her back for 4 hours until around 10:15 at night)
Me: Will 7:00 work?
(no response)

Since she never replied to my last text, I don't know what to say to get her over to my pad for another date. I'd like to eschew the whole sit-down dinner route and just get her over to my place for takeout, drinks and a movie. We were supposed to go to this sushi place on our first date but when we got there it was packed full so I took her to another restaurant. Should I text her to say "hey [girl], due to existential circumstances we have yet to grab sushi and drinks together - thinking we ought to indulge a little and watch a flick at my place, what's your schedule like this week?"

By the way, all of our interactions over the phone have been through text so far. Do I need to call her to salvage this one?

 

[Neon Owl]

'You're very pleasant to talk to'????? Never say that to a girl you're trying to game EVER again!

When things go sour over text I usually give them a call as it's a lot easier to pull them back if they're currently on the fence about seeing you again.
Give her a call and be c&f and flirty with her and arrange another date.
And for the love of God escalate next time and at least try for a kiss within the first hour or so.

 

[Uncharted]

Girl: Sure I like talking to you too as friends that'd be really cool

Noooooooooooo!!!

Too late. You definitely weren't aggressive AT ALL. Time to move on.

 

[JoeMarron]

I doubt she'd be willing to come over to your house for anything if she's throwing the friend word around. I'd pull back and see if she initiates anything.

 

[supCALI]

'You're very pleasant to talk to'????? Never say that to a girl you're trying to game EVER again!

Yeah, that was pretty bad. I got that line from an article on girlschase. Totally didn't go over the way I wanted it to. It's one thing when you actually send texts like that but even worse when you look at it in hindsight.

When things go sour over text I usually give them a call as it's a lot easier to pull them back if they're currently on the fence about seeing you again.
Give her a call and be c&f and flirty with her and arrange another date.
And for the love of God escalate next time and at least try for a kiss within the first hour or so.

Cool, it's good to know I still got a shot if I call. How much c&f and flirt do I need to give on the phone before I arrange the date? What should our phone call interaction look like?

Noooooooooooo!!!

Too late. You definitely weren't aggressive AT ALL. Time to move on.

Eh, I don't think it's that big a deal. What you bolded is what made me break the flow of the interaction (and start a thread on ss), but it's just a word. I don't think it's a terrible sign that implies an impossible recovery.

I doubt she'd be willing to come over to your house for anything if she's throwing the friend word around. I'd pull back and see if she initiates anything.

I don't know dude, we're both on spring break and 4 days is already a while without her initiating anything. She already agreed "that'd be really cool" if we saw each other again before I blew setting up a time by waiting too long to reply to her very fast (within 3 minutes) text. Maybe I shouldn't try to have her come over to the pad right away but instead take her out for a bite to eat and then suggest it?

 

[supCALI]

I called yesterday around five. I got her voicemail so I hung up. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to leave a message when you call or not. I figure she knows if I called either way. I didn't get a call back.

I won't see her until our class meets up in a week. Should I text her a date invite tomorrow or is it time to cut off contact?

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

I called yesterday around five. I got her voicemail so I hung up. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to leave a message when you call or not. I figure she knows if I called either way. I didn't get a call back.

I won't see her until our class meets up in a week. Should I text her a date invite tomorrow or is it time to cut off contact?

Do nothing. She knows you called.

It's her turn to show interest. If she doesn't (she probably won't), move on. Your work is done here.

 

[Zion]

'You're very pleasant to talk to'????? Never say that to a girl you're trying to game EVER again!

Unless you're saying it in a sarcastic manner to punish her for whatever reason.

Girl: Sure I like talking to you too as friends that'd be really cool

Well...

 

[VladPatton]

Her tactical use of the word friend thrown in there after your text is no accident. That would've made me Next her immediately. She said is very early on to establish the relationship. Can you try and crack her? Sure? Is it worth it? Probably not.

Relax with the texting and the contact. Give her a courteous "hello" when you see her and leave it at that. Save whatever's left of your dignity.

 

[Rainman4707]

I agree with the above. Cut off contact. Dont reply to her texts, calls, etc.
When you see her only speak, if spoken too.

 

[bigneil]

She used the F word. It was over right then.

 

[supCALI]

Well, I haven't heard anything back from this one. I've stayed NC since she didn't pick up my call last Thursday. No texts, no nothing.

I'm going to have to see her in class on Friday for the first time in the two weeks since we had our date. How should I act when I see her? What do I say to her?

 

[alotofpots]

You may have to give up on this one for a while bro, you put yourself into a hole by acting more interested than her with that text, the shaky first date, and acting a little wussy. It would probably be best to play it cool and not acknowledge her existence Friday. Keep your face in your phone and text some other chicks you may or may not know in class when it permits; spit some game and chuckle to yourself at the replies, or hell, just pretend text if you have to. Talk to another girl or female friend in class, make with the comedy so you both will laugh. She'll be expecting you to try and talk to her, so mess with her and don't and act as if you're completely unaffected/uninterested. Only talk to her if she initiates contact with you first and even then, say "wait one sec" and send a text for 10-15 seconds in front of her. :3 This little thing alone will have a powerful effect on her; it shows you'd rather text another girl first over talking to the one right in front of your face. Seriously, do it. Then, ask her what's up and go from there.

Act natural and as if you don't care. If she asks you to hang out in the future Friday, ask when, tell her maybe, and that you'll get back to her on it later as you might be busy on the suggested day. Good luck, and don't be surprised if things don't go to plan and she doesn't try to talk to you Friday, as first impressions are hard to shake.

 

[alpha_ash]

Friend zoned. No explanation needed.

Now the way to counter this is to meet with her late at night in a bar, club, your place, her place and apply kino. If she doesn't respond well, you say, "alright I hate to kick you out, but I'm tired and sleepy. Good night."

 

[Sofomore]

Dude how oblivious do you have to be to not realized you got friend-zoned?

Just give up on this one or make the girl your friend. If I ever get friend-zoned I just make the chick a homie and bring her out with my friends. That way when I go hit on other girls I am seen with her...thus raising my value.

 

[mikey2012]

E P I C

F A I L

you been Frailed Zoned.

GTFO

 

[buzzin_frog]

I had a date with a girl last Thursday and I wasn't as aggressive as I should have been and I made a couple of mistakes but it felt good overall to the point where a second date with escalation was within my grasp. I want to reestablish contact since it's been 4 days since I heard from her.

Mistakes always make or break.....in this case for you it is broken!!

Women that like a guy will use any excuse to contact them after a date. Why? Because they like them!! You heard nothing from her. And since you felt you made some mistakes, you shouldn't go 4 days cold without contacting her!! You have to correct your mistakes and switch it up to get her thinking positive of you!!

On the following Saturday evening I texted her.


Me:Hey [name], hope you made that test your b!tch! I had a great time with you Thursday - you're very pleasant to talk to. Are you free for dinner tomorrow evening?
(3 minutes later)
Girl: Sure I like talking to you too as friends that'd be really cool
(Thrown off by her use of the word "friends" I overreacted and didn't end up texting her back for 4 hours until around 10:15 at night)
Me: Will 7:00 work?
(no response)?

Very pleasant to talk to? wtf? You saw her response to your dinner offer. She ignored it and said she likes talking to you as "friends" only. Why are you asking her for a date time after that response?

You felt you made mistakes on the date.....she knows that....don't ask her out again...you have to re frame yourself (if you can) before you ask her out again, or you get what happened to you.....silence.

Since she never replied to my last text,

She didn't reply because she doesn't want to reply....she doesn't like you!!

I don't know what to say to get her over to my pad for another date.

You mean after that you still think you can get her to your pad? LOL.

you don't say anything!! she knows you want another date....she doesn't want to go out with you....that is why she isn't responding to your texts!! stop texting her because she won't respond to you!!

I'd like to eschew the whole sit-down dinner route and just get her over to my place for takeout, drinks and a movie. We were supposed to go to this sushi place on our first date but when we got there it was packed full so I took her to another restaurant.

Dude, she doesn't want to chill with you again....get over it!! Quit wasting yout time and making a fool out of yourself.

Should I text her to say "hey [girl], due to existential circumstances we have yet to grab sushi and drinks together - thinking we ought to indulge a little and watch a flick at my place, what's your schedule like this week?"

you are making a fool out of yourself....she is ignoring you and ignored your offer when she said she liked talking to you as "friends"....she doesn't want to date you....move on!!

By the way, all of our interactions over the phone have been through text so far. Do I need to call her to salvage this one?

Dude, it is over...quit bothering her for dates!! If she wanted to chill with you she would answer your texts and say "YES"...right? She is igoring you...so why would you think she still wants to go out with you??
Why would you think a call would help when she ignores your texts? LOL C'mon man....get with it!!

I called yesterday around five. I got her voicemail so I hung up. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to leave a message when you call or not. I figure she knows if I called either way. I didn't get a call back.?

Why do you think that is? SHE ISN'T INTERESTED IN YOU!!

I won't see her until our class meets up in a week. Should I text her a date invite tomorrow or is it time to cut off contact?

Dude, quit bothering her....if she wants to go out she will ask you to...so far she has rejected your offer and is avoiding you.....what does that tell you? cut your losses, cut contact and move on!! don't look so desperate when she has no interest in you!!

 

[Kriscam23]

I agree..the friend thing is never good..