Regardless of Location, It's Still the Same Old Dating Game-It Never Changes

[Frank2500]

How amazing that this dating game just never changes regardless of location. I've been here in Central Africa now for five years and what I've noticed is absolutely no different at all from what I experienced in the US:

-Women who know they are hot/pretty love receiving attention from men, are used to AFC behavior and are often proud, quite condescending and arrogant


-If you're a man who ignores women who know they are hot and are used to receiving attention from men, if you demonstrate self confidence and yet act aloof as if you couldn't care less about them...they actually would be the ones seeking for ways to get your attention. They would actually be the ones initiating conversation and even asking you for your number. Once you act as if you're not interested but also display confidence, you now find yourself in a position where you're able to choose from different options. It's unfortunate that it is this way, but women in general in the initial phases of the dating game just seem to love the guy who doesn't give them the attention they desire and who doesn't call them when they give him their numbers. After waiting for a few days, they actually would be the ones calling.

 

[goundra]

I think you guys are kidding yourselves. If you dont show interest in women, they aint gonna show interest in you. In fact, they won't even know or care that you are ALIVE,much less a potential partner.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I think you guys are kidding yourselves. If you dont show interest in women, they aint gonna show interest in you. In fact, they won't even know or care that you are ALIVE,much less a potential partner.

WRONG.

I know from experience the OP is right and you are WRONG (as usual). Unless you're ugly, old or really, really, really short... ignoring attractive women will intrigue them. You just have to know how to play it.

STFU goundra.

Don't listen to this faggot troll people.

 

[Frank2500]

@Play Her Man: Very well said. My observations are true, tested experiences from the field.

 

[sageproduct]

WRONG. Unless you're ugly, old or really, really, really short

That's just the thing though. Most of us are not great looking. I don't think I'm good looking at all. When I ignore hot women, do they get intrigued? Fwck no they couldn't care less.

EDIT: sry really gotta start paying attention that the thread I'm posting in is the mature man forum

 

[Mike32ct]

That's just the thing though. Most of us are not great looking. I don't think I'm good looking at all. When I ignore hot women, do they get intrigued? Fwck no they couldn't care less.

My experience is the same.

If ignoring women worked for average or below average guys, M G T OWs would score all the time because they are ignoring women.

 

[nismo-4]

Being indifferent/ ignoring women only works for a man of high value with looks, money, and status. If an average man ignores a hot chick, the hot chick won't even notice, let alone care.

This concept of being aloof/ indifferent is too goddamn overrated. If the girl in question finds you unattractive, she'll label everything you do and say as such, and there's very little you can do right in her eyes.

Men value love and women love value.

Case closed.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Being indifferent/ ignoring women only works for a man of high value with looks, money, and status. If an average man ignores a hot chick, the hot chick won't even notice, let alone care.

This concept of being aloof/ indifferent is too goddamn overrated. If the girl in question finds you unattractive, she'll label everything you do and say as such, and there's very little you can do right in her eyes.

Men value love and women love value.

Case closed.

Right.. but this is only true in the initial meeting stage. If you are a lower value, ugly, or shorter man.. the only thing you have to do differently is INITIATE.

That's it! Initiate contact.. give her some attention.. then take it away. She will wonder why such a low value man is not drooling over her like they usually do.

Critical thinking people. Use your heads.

 

[AlphaGhost]

Right.. but this is only true in the initial meeting stage. If you are a lower value, ugly, or shorter man.. the only thing you have to do differently is INITIATE.

That's it! Initiate contact.. give her some attention.. then take it away. She will wonder why such a low value man is not drooling over her like they usually do.

Critical thinking people. Use your heads.

to piggy back off PlayerHer

Initiaite, then pull away works for hot chicks, but it has to be done skillfully cause it real easy to read what your doing. It also takes some time (i'd say).

Hypothetical example (that I actually used to do pretty often) :
Let say a lower value guy is at a club, spots a hot chick he wants. go up to her start a convo about anything, but you need to find a way to stick in her mind atleast a little (thats where your own DJ skills come in, need to improvise).
Then pull away, dance by yourself, have fun, draw a crowd of people, dance with the uglies, pull the average chicks, laugh with people. Just be seen having the time of your life every where without her. Then go back later and try to spark a dance with her, if she lets you in then its on you to play the game to close the deal.

Your confidence will make up for the looks, we all know women want what other women desire, make yourself appear desireable. if she still plays you at the end of the day... **** her! You had the time of your life and danced with so many other chicks I'm sure you could pull something else lol..

 

[backbreaker]

I know this works, this was the patented backbreaker play right here this is what I did best. You might want to take what i am saying with a grain of salt because I am pretty good looking but that's the point

look, remember the movie the tao of steve. when steve was gaming the hot teacher chick and he said look, show value, then that's when most guys would go for the kill beucase of their eagerness. he said, that's when you act aloff / pull away.

ONLY, after you have demonstrated value. How do you demonstrate value? there are a lot of ways to demonstrate value. Being hot is value. Showing a woman somehow you are successful / intelligent is value. showing you have social proof out of the ass is demonstrating valuie.

But the key is not to act like you don't give a ****. The key is to demonstrate value, THEN to pull away / act aloof. it works. **** it's why i'm married now


all you have to do is get a woman wondering about you. you don't have to be hot to get a woman to wonder about you. you get a woman to wonder about you by not being an open book and by giving her something to wonder about.

i remember when i used to go to NA meetings damn near everyday and there was this meeting back in little rock that was chalk full of 22-26 year odl HB 6's-8's and every guy there would be trying to game them. I'd come in and i'd notice and then i'd sit down and just pay them no attention whatsoever. wouldn't so much as long their way.

it worked time and time and time again. new girl comes in the group. guys on her jock. i wouln't pay any attention. after a few meetings she tries to introduce herself to me and I say hi then I'm back to being aloof. usually i was dating / ****ing someone else up there so i really was being aloof but still. anyway, when that doesnt' work next thing you know they are trying to sit next to me in group, then when i still don't take the bait they are asking people am I dating anyone and am i gay.


then eventually we'd all go out to do something as a group like bowling or skating or to the movies and they couldn't take it anymore they'd throw it on hard and deep and all the guys there would wonder why i keep getting all the prime tail.


one girl in particular who i ended up ****ing out of the group told me when she first met me she couldn't stand me she thought i was arrogant and conceded, but the fact that i didn't throw myself at her intrigued her, like every other guy up there did. and she was banging.

 

[zekko]

Right.. but this is only true in the initial meeting stage. If you are a lower value, ugly, or shorter man.. the only thing you have to do differently is INITIATE.

Okay, but INITIATE is not the same thing as "Ignore the girl and she will come ask for your number", like the OP was saying. That CAN work, but it will only work with any consistency if you are hot, or if the girl is an attention ho.

The whole push/pull thing is just another way of saying play it cool, or don't act overeager. Being indifferent also works better if you can display some high value that she will notice in the meantime.

 

[Mike32ct]

Makes sense. I'll buy this.

to piggy back off PlayerHer

Initiaite, then pull away works for hot chicks, but it has to be done skillfully cause it real easy to read what your doing. It also takes some time (i'd say).

Hypothetical example (that I actually used to do pretty often) :
Let say a lower value guy is at a club, spots a hot chick he wants. go up to her start a convo about anything, but you need to find a way to stick in her mind atleast a little (thats where your own DJ skills come in, need to improvise).
Then pull away, dance by yourself, have fun, draw a crowd of people, dance with the uglies, pull the average chicks, laugh with people. Just be seen having the time of your life every where without her. Then go back later and try to spark a dance with her, if she lets you in then its on you to play the game to close the deal.

Your confidence will make up for the looks, we all know women want what other women desire, make yourself appear desireable. if she still plays you at the end of the day... **** her! You had the time of your life and danced with so many other chicks I'm sure you could pull something else lol..

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

.. the only thing you have to do differently is INITIATE.

That's it! Initiate contact.. give her some attention.. then take it away. She will wonder why such a low value man is not drooling over her like they usually do.

Critical thinking people. Use your heads.

Absolutely correct. Don Steele wrote in one of his books YEARS ago the same.

Slightly interested, aloof, confident, etc.

Initiate contact, be cordial, then notice some other girl and excuse yourself politely.

This works ESPECIALLY well if you're NOT super attractive. Cause she'll be wondering what it is about you that makes you SO confident.

Here is important: Whatever is important TO HER, in a man besides looks, she'll assume that's true ABOUT YOU which makes you so confident.

She'll subconsciously come up with her OWN reasons for being so attracted to you.

 

[zekko]

Absolutely correct. Don Steele wrote in one of his books YEARS ago the same.

Slightly interested, aloof, confident, etc.

Initiate contact, be cordial, then notice some other girl and excuse yourself politely.

Don't 90% of the guys on the planet do this anyway? Like I said earlier, back in my day we just called it playing it cool. I envy all you other guys because it sounds like you are all surrounded by a bunch of chumps for competition. I don't know where you all are from, but I would love to live there. These are the big secrets the pickup community is hiding?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Don't 90% of the guys on the planet do this anyway? Like I said earlier, back in my day we just called it playing it cool. I envy all you other guys because it sounds like you are all surrounded by a bunch of chumps for competition. I don't know where you all are from, but I would love to live there. These are the big secrets the pickup community is hiding?

It's a secret like the secret to make money in the market is to buy low and sell high. Easy to verbalize, but hard as crap to do. Most guys think that they're playing it cool, but they're not, and she knows it.

Anytime you try and "fake" game, it usually comes across as being incongruent, and you send out mixed signals.

Obviously, the best way to pull this off would be to TRULY be ONLY slightly interested in ANY girl.

IMPOSSIBLE to feign indifference when you're horny as fukk.

 

[PlayHer Man]

It's a secret like the secret to make money in the market is to buy low and sell high. Easy to verbalize, but hard as crap to do. Most guys think that they're playing it cool, but they're not, and she knows it.

Anytime you try and "fake" game, it usually comes across as being incongruent, and you send out mixed signals.

Obviously, the best way to pull this off would be to TRULY be ONLY slightly interested in ANY girl.

IMPOSSIBLE to feign indifference when you're horny as fukk.

Exactly.. if you don't have internal game and confidence.. your inner b!tch will show every time and screw you.

Lots of guys have read the books and know all the lines, but they come off like bad actors because their emotions and attitudes are still as gay as when they were pizza-faced teenagers. :crackup:

The only way to pull off this "non-nonchalance" correctly is to REALLY not give a sh!t. You can't be outcome dependent and you can't fear a girl walking away.

This is achieved by knowing you don't need a woman anyway. Sex is the easiest thing in the world to get and thousands of girls turn 18 on a daily basis. You can always start fresh so no need to sweat.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: Just My Own Very Modest Perspective

If you guys wouldn't mind permitting me to throw in my very modest two cents based on my own personal experiences. What I did experience when I was in the US and even right now here in Central Africa, is that the "acting uninterested" thing works most effectively if you're in an environment where a good number of women get to see you somewhat often enough to notice you.



Sure, you could make a strong impression with some women just at first sight but while attention seeking/notice seeking isn't what I've been after, I've noticed nonetheless that such a strategy works better when you're in an environment where the women see you somewhat often enough to be able to notice you.


I once worked at a university's office of academic admissions when I was in the US. No one ever gave me hints as to how to carry myself or how to dress, but because I've always believed in maintaining a great sense of professionalism while carrying out my responsibilities and because I was conscious that my job required me to interact with many students and parents and occasionally even senior university officials, I always ensured that I looked my best. Very, very rarely did I ever dress in denim pants. I would often wear a suit jacket, dress pants and a dress shirt, and also just a very nice dress shirt with good looking dress pants.




n the process of going to different offices to drop off students' files etc, a lot of women in those offices began to notice me and quite interesting was the fact that my university was a Catholic university with a predominantly white student and administrative population. So a lot of people both black and white seemed for some reason to seem quite impressed to come across this black guy who was always so well dressed, professional and polite. One day while dropping off a file in one of the buildings, a female student employee just couldn't resist asking me: "Where do you work?" and then she introduced herself to me.


In general, women tend to complement me saying I'm very elegant and stylish. It's just a characteristic I seem to have acquired over time. Very, very many years ago in my early to mid twenties when I had a lot of problems with dating, was very skinny and a typical AFC often put in the "he's so sweet/nice guy" zone, one of my older brothers gave me a piece of advice that I have never forgotten. He said: "All you have to do is change your image. It's all about how you look and how you carry yourself." That advice has never left me seen. I realized he was right. Even though I wasn't necessarily working on doing so to get attention from women, I've always attached much importance to how I present myself.



One example: Some time many years ago in the US between winter and spring , I entered a bank one extremely freezing morning to carry out a transaction. Due to the weather, I was dressed in a thick winter jacket, timbalands, gloves and a winter hat. The security guard on duty, who was a black male, completely ignored me and looked down at me from head to toe with spite when I said "good morning." He looked at me as if he was scared I may have come in to rob the bank or something.



The following day which was so warm and beautiful, I returned to that same bank to carry out another transaction. The same security guard who didn't even respond when I had greeted him the previous day greeted me so warmly: "Good morning, Sir. How are you doing today?" What was different? I happened to be dressed in a black suit jacket with a nice white, dress shirt. So how you present yourself to the public is very important.

 

[Who Dares Win]

If you guys wouldn't mind permitting me to throw in my very modest two cents based on my own personal experiences. What I did experience when I was in the US and even right now here in Central Africa, is that the "acting uninterested" thing works most effectively if you're in an environment where a good number of women get to see you somewhat often enough to notice you.



Sure, you could make a strong impression with some women just at first sight but while attention seeking/notice seeking isn't what I've been after, I've noticed nonetheless that such a strategy works better when you're in an environment where the women see you somewhat often enough to be able to notice you.


I once worked at a university's office of academic admissions when I was in the US. No one ever gave me hints as to how to carry myself or how to dress, but because I've always believed in maintaining a great sense of professionalism while carrying out my responsibilities and because I was conscious that my job required me to interact with many students and parents and occasionally even senior university officials, I always ensured that I looked my best. Very, very rarely did I ever dress in denim pants. I would often wear a suit jacket, dress pants and a dress shirt, and also just a very nice dress shirt with good looking dress pants.




n the process of going to different offices to drop off students' files etc, a lot of women in those offices began to notice me and quite interesting was the fact that my university was a Catholic university with a predominantly white student and administrative population. So a lot of people both black and white seemed for some reason to seem quite impressed to come across this black guy who was always so well dressed, professional and polite. One day while dropping off a file in one of the buildings, a female student employee just couldn't resist asking me: "Where do you work?" and then she introduced herself to me.


In general, women tend to complement me saying I'm very elegant and stylish. It's just a characteristic I seem to have acquired over time. Very, very many years ago in my early to mid twenties when I had a lot of problems with dating, was very skinny and a typical AFC often put in the "he's so sweet/nice guy" zone, one of my older brothers gave me a piece of advice that I have never forgotten. He said: "All you have to do is change your image. It's all about how you look and how you carry yourself." That advice has never left me seen. I realized he was right. Even though I wasn't necessarily working on doing so to get attention from women, I've always attached much importance to how I present myself.



One example: Some time many years ago in the US between winter and spring , I entered a bank one extremely freezing morning to carry out a transaction. Due to the weather, I was dressed in a thick winter jacket, timbalands, gloves and a winter hat. The security guard on duty, who was a black male, completely ignored me and looked down at me from head to toe with spite when I said "good morning." He looked at me as if he was scared I may have come in to rob the bank or something.



The following day which was so warm and beautiful, I returned to that same bank to carry out another transaction. The same security guard who didn't even respond when I had greeted him the previous day greeted me so warmly: "Good morning, Sir. How are you doing today?" What was different? I happened to be dressed in a black suit jacket with a nice white, dress shirt. So how you present yourself to the public is very important.

Agree on everything, especialy the bolded part since it happened something similar to me as well.

Regularly attending this gathering place where this sexy hot girl was working, can say she is definitely on the top 3 of the hottest girls I've ever seen, needless to say despite having had plenty of success in my life I realized she was way beyond my means and any attempt would have led to frustration so simply didnt even try to speak with, limited my interaction with her to hello/bye and asking her to do things which totally fitted to her role in there.
I treated her as she was nothing but the "employee" more like a work drone.

For 2 months nothing changed, except that she was very polite to me and never making me wait, then after 3 months she started organizing extra meetings with the people going there and asking me to join which I politely refused (didnt want to change my routine nor interested in befriend the partecipants), once they organized a drinking night and she said to an other employee to give me her number to let her know which drinks she would have had to get for me.

I simply said that there was no need for special drinks and didnt even bother to take her number.

Well what happen later I guess is based on this, all those guys(much more goodlooking,taller and suave than me) going after her got some while I got more (there is some field report somewhere) untill I somehow screwed up by paying her too much attention, now again she asks me to meet for lunch or early afternoon which of course I ignore since its a clear path to the orbiter zone.

 

[zekko]

n the process of going to different offices to drop off students' files etc, a lot of women in those offices began to notice me and quite interesting was the fact that my university was a Catholic university with a predominantly white student and administrative population. So a lot of people both black and white seemed for some reason to seem quite impressed to come across this black guy who was always so well dressed, professional and polite. One day while dropping off a file in one of the buildings, a female student employee just couldn't resist asking me: "Where do you work?" and then she introduced herself to me.


In general, women tend to complement me saying I'm very elegant and stylish. It's just a characteristic I seem to have acquired over time. Very, very many years ago in my early to mid twenties when I had a lot of problems with dating, was very skinny and a typical AFC often put in the "he's so sweet/nice guy" zone, one of my older brothers gave me a piece of advice that I have never forgotten. He said: "All you have to do is change your image. It's all about how you look and how you carry yourself." That advice has never left me seen. I realized he was right. Even though I wasn't necessarily working on doing so to get attention from women, I've always attached much importance to how I present myself.

Sounds like you and Backbreaker are getting approached based on your looks, style, and how you present and carry yourself, not because you are ignoring women. An average looking, average dressed fellow going about his business probably wouldn't have drawn interest from this girl at all.

Don't get me wrong, I play this indifferent game myself. If I see an exceptionally attractive girl entering my circle of influence, I always pretend not to notice her at first. Mainly, I do this because I don't want to give her the satisfaction of her knowing that I notice her beauty. Instead, I busy myself with interaction with the other girls in the group.

There's nothing wrong with the indifference play, but I have yet to be convinced that it is any more effective than going up to her right away, being friendly, and introducing yourself. Especially if you are a hot guy and are likely to get noticed anyway. You can push/pull from there if you like.

Regularly attending this gathering place where this sexy hot girl was working, can say she is definitely on the top 3 of the hottest girls I've ever seen, needless to say despite having had plenty of success in my life I realized she was way beyond my means and any attempt would have led to frustration so simply didnt even try to speak with, limited my interaction with her to hello/bye and asking her to do things which totally fitted to her role in there.

This is an example of classic attention wh0re. What good is being indifferent to her if as soon as you show any interest, she backs off? In other words, the attraction isn't genuine.

Also, note that what you have said here is that your lack of confidence/thinking that she was out of your league is what ended up intriguing her in the first place.

 

[backbreaker]

you have to keep 2 things in mind

1. i have always been at least, handsome. and at one point i needed this site to the point where girls were running the other way


2. good looking as i may be i'm not the only good looking guy on earth in particular in LA. **** i don't even think i'm the best looking guy in our circle of associates

the thing about looks with guys is that guys who don't think they look good usually thinks the sole reason they suck with girls is looks and guys who do look good tend to over value how much they look manes to the opposite sex ("I mean, i know i look better than that dude she's dating look at him and look at me"). the truth is somewhere in between.


i do think my dress style draws attention more than my looks. I mean, i am in shape so that draws attention, positive attention but style i think is waht really brings it home. your style tells more about you than your genetics. My style tells women I'm well put together, classy, neat, mainline but not macho, very detail oriented