I totally feel ya Alboh. I've been studying seduction for a couple years now. This forum actually made my game worse for awhile this year because of the reasons you listed. I too dated a girl (my first HB9) and wrecked it because I was playing too hard. It really fvcked with my head this summer.
I did several things in response. First, I rejected the negative suspicious mindset. A defensive frame is bad inner game IMHO. If I don't even acknowledge someone's power to hurt me, I take away most, if not all, of their power. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the mirage-like world of social perceptions.
I took a break from the forum to cut off the negative noise and to stop any new info from coming in. I just operated on what I had read so far and choose to reject the negative theories. I explored the source of my bad feelings, fears, and beliefs that were polluting my inner game. I hit the field FOR FUN (I fostered minimal stress about the number of approaches I did or their frequency. But I pushed myself just hard enough to keep me from becoming lazy). I experimented with techniques and theories rather than dogmatically clinging to stuff as the "GOLDEN KEY."
I would try to limit thoughts about theory during the sarge. I tried to focus on theory only when I encountered an obstacle. Then I went with whichever solution presented itself in that moment (the solution coming from the theory I already knew). If none presented itself in time, I'd analyze the experience AFTER the evening or whatever was over. NOT while I was still approaching. I would try to have a solution for next time.
Something clicked at the end of the summer and I feel that I've risen past that miserable plateau I was on. I'll post a LR soon that talks more about this breakthrough and the experiences that accompanied it. I'm not a guru. I don't get laid whenever I want yet but I get laid more than I used to. I'm just a dude trying to sort this shyt out for himself. I hope my experiences help you.
Oh, I must give credit to mASF (not to start a boring forum war thread). AFTER my inner game changed, I started reading more on that forum than here. It made a lot more sense after my breakthrough. The theory was progressive and not as rehashed as a lot of the threads on here. However, if you don't regard techniques as replaceable tools and experiments, if you're still looking for the magic foolproof seduction plan, I could see how mASF could be extremely frustrating since it's waay geekier than this place.
