recognizing women's signals/tests

[crotchrocket]

I'm having trouble reading a really hot-looking chic I know (and would like to get to know better). We go to the same class once a week. I'm a good DJ, I always do the c & f thing to her, and she likes it-that much I do know!

She's invited me to join her and friends to a couple of things (which I didn't go to), she's told me things like "I was thinking about you this week", and after I had skipped 2-weeks in a row "you haven't been around much lately, where have you been", she's motioned from across the room to come sit by her, it goes on and on.

Here's the thing, when I do sit by her, behind her, go over and talk to the group she's around, she runs away.

Last time it happened I sat directly behind her, not 2-minutes later, she had moved and was flirting with a couple other guys-and every once in a while I'd look over and she would be looking at me.

I'm really crappy at reading these signals/tests, so I need help!
Any ideas ?

 

[oskiano]

With a lot of women, once attraction is there, you have a limited time to pounce. So you need to act strongly and boldly here to see what's up.

Tell her going over to x place at y time, and that she should come with you.

If she declines with a counteroffer, you're still good. If she just declines, then it's not too promising.

You should also be DJing with other women when she's there. Doesn't matter how they look, if they're married, etc. Get the other girls laughing and having a good time with you in her view.

If she's interested, that oughta do the trick to escalate...

Tamales, darlin? Help our boy here...

 

[BGMan]

Her body language is basically screaming, "ASK ME OUT ALREADY!"

Get her @#$%$ phone number and ask her out!

BGMan

 

[oskiano]

What BG said...perfect dude. Let's go take Spokane!

I dunno guys, I wonder why some people are so passive. Is it the remote control TV culture?

No offense at all crotchrocket, but man up and take the female. Don't go with her group. Define your reality and bring her into it.

You're a pretty boy, aren't you? Go get her dude.

 

[crotchrocket]

I swear it's like a disease or something.
I like to take my time, amp up the attraction a bit first, problem is the waiting seems to get the 'hard-to-get' game going, inherent in every woman that interests me.
And I find myself in it again, ideas how to get past the game now that it has begun?

 

[oskiano]

Different scenarios call for different approaches, but a bold, classy, confident move is usually good. There's something called the "3 second rule" for first time meetings. It's a good principle; when you first see a woman you like in a bar, restaurant, store, wherever, you say hi within three seconds of first meeting.

In a situation where you will be seeing the woman on a recurring basis, there is less urgency. You still need to influence the environment proactively though. No sitting back and watching, no waiting for approval, etc. Sure, you want to see signs and react to them. That's the key you see.

You notice a woman's interest and then you respond and escalate. She then sends another signal and you respond. Again, look at David D'Angelo's eBooks and DVD series on this; it's all there.

For this woman, I'm thinking the test may be for you to assert yourself and create a reality. So you go over and talk to her. Not go over and sit next to her. Go and communicate. Initiate. Take her somewhere away from any crowd, even if it is down the hall.

Think of me coming in and taking her away from you while you sit and pine away thinking of what to do.

I look forward to reading your success report soon.

 

[tamales]

Hmm, I didn't read in too much detail but if she seems to likes you and yet runs away.. you have the perfect opportunity to be a real DJ. I say next time you encounter her. Stand still, very still right in front of her, as close as possible (of course if you have DJ skill to pull this off) and say X, smile a really big grin and look at her like you want to **** the living daylights outta her.. don't run.. I want you to stand still. Why do you run, all the time when I try and talk to you.. Let her respond.. Laugh at her and be C&F but not rude..She will be nervous.. talk too much..let her.. all the while just smile and maybe have one arm up against the wall near her... the idea is to create extreme proximity. You want her to be uncomfortable but not in a position to runway.. You have NOT and I repeat NOT declared any real like for her, just toying. I mean it's all about having fun.. You havn't made a fool of yourself or been all nervous and ****, like, "hi jane, um, um, um.. do you want to get together sometime..." Eek. No just the opposite...

Let her respond. You are just sort of in her way smiling. If you get positive feedback and you can feel the attraction.. and you will just have to sense this on your own. We can't help you here.. THen I say lean in and say, "well, then how about meeting at X for a coke or burger or whatever" YOu sound to young for drinks. lol! But if not then meet for drinks.

And then gauge her response.. Say finally, "okay then, see you there..Great and next time X ( her name, make it personal...) I might have to pin you down.. laugh and smile.. Look a bit curious and mysterious.. " Or say,"next time... then pause and just look at her and say, well.. we'll see. Laugh and say, see ya later, looking forward to it. And relax, I don't bite. Smile and walk away."

Hard to explain. It's been years since highschool but trust me no matter what if she really likes you, all the signs are there and you can literally feel the chemistry, then be a man and take her! That's what she wants.. But don't be AFC about it. Be confident.. Be in control and sexy..

Okay, this was way to much but regardless of age, women and girls alike want a MAN WITH A PLAN.. and as we get older we want the man that will take us.. not leave us to ?. and yes, rip our panties off and take us up against a wall..

Geesh, I am troubled aren't I. I don't know why that always seems to turn me on.. I guess I am just thinking of my x a looong while back. He was a real DJ even more than my latest and always made me feel so sexy and womanly.. THat is key..

Darlin', oh O, was that at least mediocre..Sorry if not. As you know I had a long day.

In any event, keep us posted. ANd just bust a move man. Make it happen. SHe is waiting for you to be the man.. Trust me. I am mean I am not there but you can tell when a woman is semi or really into you..Can't you. I can? Dunno...

Good luck!!!!!!

 

[TesuqueRed]

Disclaimer: if you want to skip reading a lot of text, just go up and re-read BG's post above.
_____________________
I wouldn't call them "tests", I would call them "signalling". She's demonstrating her desirability and making sure you notice.

So notice.

You do that by going up and getting together with her. Ask her out. Join her and her friends.

Sure, you want to work up to it, take your time, build anticipation, etc.

Mostly I think is a bunch of waiting for an overwhelming number of green lights flashed your way so that you can be guaranteed that any play you run will work.

Sorry, dude, you've already been given more signals than you need. Time to shift into gear and go. Hesitate any further and she will get 1) insulted and / or 2) disinterested. Mostly likely it'll be the "and" (based, ahem, on my sorry-ass experience along the same lines....)

She's laying out a red carpet letting you know to APPROACH ALREADY. And a girl has pride, which is why hesitation or slowness or cluelessness is both insulting and unforgiveable.

And it is. An AFC will argue against that. But if you understand how many women signal (ok, BROADCAST in caps) then you understand that they've laid themselves out publicly for you.

______________
So, she knows the game. She's not an attention wh0re game player, she just knows the language of body language and signaling and communicating desire and all that. You HAVE to be a DJ with her and play at her level.

This may seem contradictory, but she's not a game player as such, she's just communicating in an age-old language. You have to reply in kind. She's given major green lights. Now you have to approach.

 

[crotchrocket]

Awesome advice, thanks to everybody.

This is a recurring problem for me, I have been getting the same kind of signals from at least 3 other women in this same class, not to mention the chic down at the corner 7/11, friends of the neighbor chic across the street... the list goes on and on-pathetic I know!

Well at least I know I have the initial attraction-magnet thing down.

One more question regarding this particular woman/situation. Is it better to play it cool and do the c & f thing, get her email/ph.#, then follow up in a day or so with an invite. Or just get busy and "I'm going to ... this afternoon you gonna join me?"

 

[TesuqueRed]

No more set-up.

MOVE!


Sounds like you need to learn how to step it up to the next level if this is a recurring prob.

 

[Livingitup22]

Yup...go for it

You should be happy, my friend, for you are appearantly doing some real good set-up work with these ladies. Time to close. If it doesn't work with the hard-to-get-girl, move on to the next potential girl. The only way to get better is to practice and I think you'll find the practice more than worth the chance of rejection.

 

[Da Game]

Originally posted by oskiano
What BG said...perfect dude. Let's go take Spokane!

I dunno guys, I wonder why some people are so passive. Is it the remote control TV culture?

No offense at all crotchrocket, but man up and take the female. Don't go with her group. Define your reality and bring her into it.

You're a pretty boy, aren't you? Go get her dude.

Hey, cool! I live in Spokane!

 

[vdk]

"Stand still, very still right in front of her, as close as possible (of course if you have DJ skill to pull this off) and say X, smile a really big grin and look at her like you want to **** the living daylights outta her.. don't run.. I want you to stand still."

OMFG!!!! A chick was standing 30 cm in front of me talking (me thinks she LJBFed me). I stood still, legs apart, arms in my back pockets, looked her into eyes, she looked into mine. She stopped talking and we had this 'moment' for like 3 seconds. Her lips were thick, wet and red and OMFG I wasted my farking chance to kiss her right then. After 3 seconds she turned away and saw another AFC friend coming towards us. My farking god Im the biggest AFC. I had that window of opportunity to kiss her without her permission.

Moral of the story? Whenever you have one of those 'moments' with a chick you farking kiss her, just make sure its the right moment before she files sexual harrasment charges on ya.