I don't know where to start.
I am 19 soon and really lost at the moment. It seems like I can't handle my life.
I've been in couple of ltrs. I was beta once, like most of guys.
Then I found this site and red pill and things like that. I can make new contacts/friends so easily now. I even got a girl's contacts when running a marathon, lol.
But, my main problem is that I'm really psycho. I can't control myself at all. I just do things. First, I'm narcissist. I don't feel emphaty and things like that at all. I don't care about anyone. I don't feel the line between what is okay to do and what isn't.
At the moment, my head is really f*cked up because of ltr with girl who is also crazy. For example, we recently fight physically. I just laughed and told her to do something, to hit me. I can't control myself, I just told her things that you never tell to somebody. Blood flowed over my hands, I still have serious scars because of that. But I still just laughed and manipulated more. I don't even remember these moments. Finally she had mental breakdown and started to hit herself against wall. Then I stopped and just f*cked her.
I don't even know what is the point of this post. I want to get out of this situation. But I really don't know how to control myself.
Yesterday I just told her to be ready, that I will bring her over my place. I don't know, we had sex for 2 hours, everything was good. Then she suddenly changed, but gave me 14 kisses before she left the car and then blocked me everywhere. I know one extremely beta guy is hitting on her. But same time I know he can't give her anything. She is crazy about sex and this guy is virgin, I think. Wants to hold her and hug her, I saw their messages. Same time she tells that no one has ever f*cked her so good that I do. And she isn't the first who tells that. May be because that I never try to impress anyone. I just do what i enjoy.
But now I'm really lost. I have exams soon and I can't focus on school and on important things. I don't know how to get out of this circle. Of course I text other girls, won't turn down a chance to have sex with someone else, but I can't control myself to do no contact or next her. I'm so angry at myself. I should next her, but today sent her a message that.. "It's f*ckin showtime, my dear. See you soon."
I see her everyday at school so it's definitely a showtime.
I don't even know what I expect to hear. But may be you know what should I do to get out of this?
I am 19 soon and really lost at the moment. It seems like I can't handle my life.
I've been in couple of ltrs. I was beta once, like most of guys.
Then I found this site and red pill and things like that. I can make new contacts/friends so easily now. I even got a girl's contacts when running a marathon, lol.
But, my main problem is that I'm really psycho. I can't control myself at all. I just do things. First, I'm narcissist. I don't feel emphaty and things like that at all. I don't care about anyone. I don't feel the line between what is okay to do and what isn't.
At the moment, my head is really f*cked up because of ltr with girl who is also crazy. For example, we recently fight physically. I just laughed and told her to do something, to hit me. I can't control myself, I just told her things that you never tell to somebody. Blood flowed over my hands, I still have serious scars because of that. But I still just laughed and manipulated more. I don't even remember these moments. Finally she had mental breakdown and started to hit herself against wall. Then I stopped and just f*cked her.
I don't even know what is the point of this post. I want to get out of this situation. But I really don't know how to control myself.
Yesterday I just told her to be ready, that I will bring her over my place. I don't know, we had sex for 2 hours, everything was good. Then she suddenly changed, but gave me 14 kisses before she left the car and then blocked me everywhere. I know one extremely beta guy is hitting on her. But same time I know he can't give her anything. She is crazy about sex and this guy is virgin, I think. Wants to hold her and hug her, I saw their messages. Same time she tells that no one has ever f*cked her so good that I do. And she isn't the first who tells that. May be because that I never try to impress anyone. I just do what i enjoy.
But now I'm really lost. I have exams soon and I can't focus on school and on important things. I don't know how to get out of this circle. Of course I text other girls, won't turn down a chance to have sex with someone else, but I can't control myself to do no contact or next her. I'm so angry at myself. I should next her, but today sent her a message that.. "It's f*ckin showtime, my dear. See you soon."
I see her everyday at school so it's definitely a showtime.
I don't even know what I expect to hear. But may be you know what should I do to get out of this?
