Reality Check needed

[SHChamp]

I moved to Spain a couple of months ago for career purposes, and I ended up in a shared house with an HB9. I told myself that I would not **** where I eat, and keep it strictly platonic. At this point in my life, I was consistently dating, fcking, and completely focused on my career. However, as time progressed I got to know this HB9 very well, cause I see her constantly every day.

To my sh!t luck, she is everything I want in a girl, I can list why exactly, but I'll spare you that. Problem is, she's in a relationship for 4 years. It goes against my every principle to mess with that, why go for the ones in relationships when there are millions just waiting outside the door? Regardless, after a month of day2day friendly conversations, a lot of 101 rapport, going out in group settings, we ended up fvcking. Note, I had walked away from 2 opportunities to do it before, but there was a lot of rapport and a click, and she was in my bed.

Fast forward 3 months, we've been literally fvcking 3-4 times a day and she's completely blown away, sexually speaking, she's never had anyone better. She 'says' she wants to end her relationship, because she doesn't feel the same with him anymore. I keep my emotional distance, but a few days ago he came to visit. He is currently staying in our house with her for the week, and it's driving me crazy. She snuck away from his bed twice, to try and come to me. But, I told her I was not interested in doing that, and I find it pretty disgusting to be honest. Yes, I said those words. I told her to go back to him, and that this would be the end of it.

Every rational thought in my being says that this is a stupid, stupid thing to do, that even IF she leaves him, she'll go back to her country in a few months, so there is no future regardless. I was thinking of keeping her strictly as a FB, and just have sex when I want to with her. Problem is, I really like this girl, to the point of infatuation. You guys know that infuation I am talking about. Keep in mind, that since I left my AFC ways, red-pilled, I haven't felt this way in a LONG time. This is because every interaction with a girl to me is just a game where I just have to clear a few levels to get laid, and it has been like that for the past 3 years. I thought that this philosophy was a double-edged sword since I'd never feel that way about a girl again, but now I do.

Big fcking sob story, I know. But, once again, I would like it if you guys could give me some insight and reality checks.

 

[old_skoolr]

keep reminding yourself shes leaving in a few months, it'll help the infatuation pass.

Trust me dude, its a phase and the fact that shes always around makes it worse.

I dont judge you for fvcking her, anyone wouldve in your situation, but its happened so enjoy it and make sure you have a ball just remember to seperate your emotions from it.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I thought that this philosophy was a double-edged sword since I'd never feel that way about a girl again, but now I do

You've basically answered your own question there.

Meet a girl you like > doesn't work out > gutted because you think it'll never happen again > meet another girl you like.

You have oneitis, is all. You're embracing your Disney fairy tale conditioning again.

She had a bf for 4 years. Clearly got bored, cheated with you. If she can cheat with you, she can cheat on you.

The same will likely happen in another year or two, whoever she's with. She might say she wants to be with you or whatever, but that applies only to that moment in time.

 

[AttackFormation]

She's in a relationship, but moved to another area (let alone country)? that alone without any further details shows the girl was out to get some new d1ck. No surprise - that's exactly what happened. Guess what, if she could do it to him, she can do it to you. This should degrade her to only having potential as a fvck-friend unless the boyfriend was someone you'd understandably cheat on, which is plausible considering he's clueless enough to still be with her even though she made it obvious she wanted to cheat, but then why is she with him in the first place.

The way I see it you can let this pass, be glad for the time you had and go out looking for more girls, or you can confirm for yourself 3 years from now why your gut was telling you to not take things further with her when you find cvm stains on your bed, she isn't putting on her best behavior for you anymore, and your own infatuation stage when she is perfect because your hormones say so is over.

 

[SHChamp]

You are all correct, my rational mind says that this is a phase and that it will pass. I probably have molded the perfect image of her in my mind, out of proportion to what she is in reality, although I can't see it now. I still have to ask though, we all came to this site for different reasons at first. Mine was to find a LTR with a girl that fits what I want in one.

I understand the logic (I am an extremely logical person) and reality behind the rule that if a girl cheats on her boyfriend with you, she'll most likely do it to you. But, I have also learned that the 'hard-rules' that we've all learned here are VERY dependent on the situation and it's not at all black or white. I think the game is more of a guideline, rather than a rule book and a true DJ will know which applies to what.

The thing is, I love that feeling which we've all experienced. Yes, it is infatuation at first, but isn't the 'long-term infatuation' that isn't temporary which we're looking for? I thought it was impossible for a DJ to be a DJ and still feel that way, but now I don't know. How do I know that this is just infatuation in comparison to something more? How do you guys know when to go for a LTR with a girl?

There's no need to pvssy foot around, feel free to be as direct as you want, like AF. I just honestly want to know how you guys think of that.

 

[AttackFormation]

Answers in quote

You are all correct, my rational mind says that this is a phase and that it will pass. I probably have molded the perfect image of her in my mind, out of proportion to what she is in reality, although I can't see it now. Nothing wrong with that. Just like any emotion, the key is to recognize that it's an emotion and not a rational idea, which you've already done I still have to ask though, we all came to this site for different reasons at first. Mine was to find a LTR with a girl that fits what I want in one. You say she fits what you wants in one, but I don't think before you met her that you were lying around dreaming of a girl who would be capable of living a double life against her boyfriend, so that idea is not really true

I understand the logic (I am an extremely logical person) and reality behind the rule that if a girl cheats on her boyfriend with you, she'll most likely do it to you. But, I have also learned that the 'hard-rules' that we've all learned here are VERY dependent on the situation and it's not at all black or white. I think the game is more of a guideline, rather than a rule book and a true DJ will know which applies to what. Obviously we can't confirm that she's going to cheat on you. We can just say that based on not just her willingness to do it but the calculated way she did it (actually moving away, PLANNING to cheat) and the zero trouble she has keeping the facade up when her boyfriend is around, trusting (the foundation of a relationship) this girl is a very bad idea

The thing is, I love that feeling which we've all experienced. Yes, it is infatuation at first, but isn't the 'long-term infatuation' that isn't temporary which we're looking for? Signs are not pointing to finding it here I thought it was impossible for a DJ to be a DJ and still feel that way, but now I don't know. How do I know that this is just infatuation in comparison to something more? How do you guys know when to go for a LTR with a girl? Honestly this will require someone who's actually been in a LTR, I've never bothered. But if I did I would want to put the girl in situations that will make her reveal her true character, rather than the "personal representative" you meet during getting to know them, and that would require time. But this girl has already shown she's not LTR material. Her entire character she's showing you that you think you're infatuated with may as well be fake for all we know, based on the way she acts with her boyfriend

There's no need to pvssy foot around, feel free to be as direct as you want, like AF. I just honestly want to know how you guys think of that. If you feel like you'll live with regret for not shacking up with a girl who has two faces then go ahead, we can't stop you. Me, I'd like to see both a picture of her and a list of the things she has that you're looking for, so we can tell you from fact that there are more girls like her and not just from recommendation

 

[dude99]

She was using you to branch swing to. You suited her purpose for s season and when you no longer suit that purpose she will swing to the next guy. If no new guy comes along she will simply stay with her loyal but clueless boyfriend who probably has no idea how much DNA of other guys he is kissing when he kisses her.

 

[SHChamp]

Answers in quote

Thank you for the harsh honesty. Yes, I realize that the fact that she is cheating on him with me is a red flag and should probably be testament to her character. I am fully aware that there is no such thing as 'the one', this girl has plenty just like her with the same good qualities, I am positive of that as experience has shown. I have just missed this feeling of infuation as it makes me feel more alive then when I game any random HB to lay. This is probably blue-pill talk, but it is a reality that I have come to accept after years of red-pill.

I realize that all of you are lacking all the background information to give an accurate analysis (she did not move here by choice, it was because of her studies forcing her to). Regardless of that, your general advice still applies. The fact of the matter is that even if I name all of the numeruous good qualities that attract me to her, I am too in it to be unbiased in my description. I am just tired of reading girls like an open book, and have my way with them. It's taken away the excitement and made me feel indifferent to all of them. This was a good refresher, because I believe that a hard-core red-pill anyone can lay with PLENTY of girls. It's really not hard, but I am not planning to go through life like a machine ready to sleep with any HB I meet. I am just not interested in that.

I've decided to give her an ultimatum when she leaves, either she breaks up with him and we can continue whatever this was (until she moves back to her country) or we're done. Regardless, I realize there is no future with her and it doesn't matter. If she does end it, great, continue on fvcking. If not, I am going to end it for now until I am emotionally completely out of it and see other women, and then continue the fvcking when I am in a better mental state.

 

[AttackFormation]

Thank you for the harsh honesty. Yes, I realize that the fact that she is cheating on him with me is a red flag and should probably be testament to her character. I am fully aware that there is no such thing as 'the one', this girl has plenty just like her with the same good qualities, I am positive of that as experience has shown. I have just missed this feeling of infuation as it makes me feel more alive then when I game any random HB to lay. This is probably blue-pill talk, but it is a reality that I have come to accept after years of red-pill.

I realize that all of you are lacking all the background information to give an accurate analysis (she did not move here by choice, it was because of her studies forcing her to). Regardless of that, your general advice still applies. The fact of the matter is that even if I name all of the numeruous good qualities that attract me to her, I am too in it to be unbiased in my description. I am just tired of reading girls like an open book, and have my way with them. It's taken away the excitement and made me feel indifferent to all of them. This was a good refresher, because I believe that a hard-core red-pill anyone can lay with PLENTY of girls. It's really not hard, but I am not planning to go through life like a machine ready to sleep with any HB I meet. I am just not interested in that.

I've decided to give her an ultimatum when she leaves, either she breaks up with him and we can continue whatever this was (until she moves back to her country) or we're done. Regardless, I realize there is no future with her and it doesn't matter. If she does end it, great, continue on fvcking. If not, I am going to end it for now until I am emotionally completely out of it and see other women, and then continue the fvcking when I am in a better mental state.

I took a break from this site a while back because of similar thinking as you gave in this post, in the hope of feeling "alive" again when I interact with girls. Before I came back I stopped reading and watching red pill sources, and if I did I did it from a step back. I think, what differs between all the guys here in this regard is their level of optimism (like you) and cynicism (like deesade ) about that state being a realistic part of the red pill and not whether they could want that feeling or not.

However the fact that you are considering to give her an ultimatum shows that she has really enchanted you with her pvssy. That sounded like it came from a guy who's getting branch swung on. It also comes from a position of weakness, which is not only a bad frame in itself but in this case makes it more likely that she would cheat on you. You need to get your head straight before you make any decision about this because right now it's very clear that you're making emotional decisions.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I thought it was impossible for a DJ to be a DJ and still feel that way, but now I don't know. How do I know that this is just infatuation in comparison to something more? How do you guys know when to go for a LTR with a girl?

This is a sign that you need to expand your knowledge and outlook further. Being a 'DJ' is not the destination. This stuff is simply a vehicle to learn how to be a man; and, how to treat women accordingly. Your thinking is too black and white; you need to adjust your outlook to view each situation more fluidly for it's own merits....

Apples and oranges. Wifing up at cheating b**** is a hard rule. Setting overt boundaries is a soft rule. Can't make a ho a housewife is a hard rule. Paying on the first date is a soft rule.

This is exactly right. Write yourself a list of 100 rules; 50 hard, 50 soft. Some people call them red and yellow flags; whatever. These are for your personal consideration. No one's telling you what to do nor think; indeed simply giving you the benefit of experienced opinion and third party logic.

The 50 Hard Rules (red flags) will apply to all scenarios you find yourself; as LAR85 exemplified - making/keeping a GF of a girl you know to be a cheater, pfft forget it. Automatic deal-breakers. There are very few, but very serious variables to consider: the BF, your (potential) future with her, her loyalty to you (suitability as a GF), your personal safety (should the BF find out).

The 50 Soft Rules (yellow flags) may be too many. These aren't always applied, indeed may not even ever become an issue in certain scenarios.
-Take the example again from LAR85 of paying on a first date. There are far more, but fairly insignificant variables:
>Girl pays for all drinks/half drinks.
>Girl is student but is also fun and interested, so you pay all or most.
>Girl is pain in the a$$, so you pay for your own drink and leave afterwards.

It's a case of deciding for yourself what you do and don't accept of how people behave and treat you.

For me, it's about thinking more dynamically and doing so quickly. Make swift and reasoned decisions and act accordingly. Listen carefully to your own internal monologue as well; the language that you use in your own mind regularly is what dictates your life. To a certain extent, consciously or unconsciously, you've brought this upon yourself.

 

[AttackFormation]

I'll discuss the "red-pill" as it refers to game (or my game at least).

Ever heard about forebrain and hindbrain?

In women, the forebrain is her rational thought. The hindbrain is her primal thought.

Every game technique attempts to bypass a woman's forebrain. It attempts to go straight for her primal hindbrain.

The hind-brain for me now is the red-pill. When I am gaming a woman, I am generally much different. I am far more positive. My forebrain (intelligence) leads me to be so. I actually care-free enjoy women, because I don't place any real stake in them.

But in the back of my mind, I understand the real dynamics of the interaction. I understand her limitations.

Every single problem of this website can be encapsulated in a nutshell: you weren't following your sexual strategy - or you sacrificed your strategy for hers.

In this case, it's a guy fvcking a woman that he considers above him in sexual market value. And this is the danger leading him astray.

Then he starts making excuses for his weakness: It's time that I developed a more intimate relationship, or I have had enough of carefree living.

Nothing but excuses for deviating from his frame to hers. I know, because I've made the exact same mistakes - ironically with hb9s.

Yeah I agree with everything you said in this post. But the trap many walk into which only harms themselves and their own enjoyment of life is when you think like this it's easy to dehumanize women like you can do with customers when you're a salesman and that brought negativity to myself which I didn't want. So instead of rejecting what I know is the truth, I wanted to change the way I handled it mentally. I wanted to disconnect the red pill from feelings of cynicism and jadedness because it was preventing me from enjoying any interaction with women. My life with women became completely non-intuitive, which is a sure-fire way to remove the joy from anything, and that's what I wanted to reverse.

 

[LiveYourDream]

She 'says' she wants to end her relationship, because she doesn't feel the same with him anymore.

She told you she wanted to end her relationship with him because she didn't feel the same, however she didn't. Her actions didn't match her words.

Instead of making that hard phone call and breaking up with him, she allowed him to continue on with her and his visit, as if all was fine. She perpetuated a lie. The level of disrespect she is showing, him--behind his back (the one she has supposedly loved for the last four years), while she simultaneously disrespects you by expecting you to remain silent, while she fvcks him, right there in the house you share, and to top it off while you are there, is astounding to me. Seriously??

Oh, but that's right she sneaks out to comfort you, between fvcking him so that is suppose to make it all better to you?? That is sick behavior!

You just play along as if her behavior, to him and to you, is acceptable?? Why??

Wake up to the reality of who she is (her behavior)!! Find your self respect again!!

She's not a woman you'll ever be able to trust or respect. A FB at best now. Watch even that, as your oneitis for her is stronger than you realize.

 

[MrWood]

Being a 'DJ' is not the destination. This stuff is simply a vehicle to learn how to be a man; and, how to treat women accordingly.

this should be in a FAQ

 

[AttackFormation]

That's actually quite interesting.

No matter how 'jaded' I supposedly am, I have never stopped enjoying my interactions with women. Even now, I still run into a set with glee.

For once, I am honestly stumped. You seriously disliked women so much that your natural attraction to them suffered? How have you dealt with that?

I think the best word to describe what I want to feel when I think about and interact with girls (and anything else) is like I said intuitive and its synonyms, but what I over time arrived at as I indulged in red pill sources was a frame of mind that was not only the opposite of that in dispassionate and calculated but also cynical. If game was supposed to make you feel like the high-spirited kids who marched off to WW1 I felt like the wearied, dismal man who came home and felt no sense of excitement at all at the idea of racing through no man's land so you could get to the enemy's trench. To be fair though it wasn't just my new insights that correctly predicted girls' behavior but the dull girls I was seeing and not seeing any end to.

I haven't really succeeded in dealing with it yet. I've become less cynical, but more uncaring of scoring at all, which on the whole I guess means more carefree. The only thing I can think of to revitalize is to meet more girls who are themselves living intuitively. I think you can recognize them, some markers are they'll look at you with wide open eyes, are talkative, talk clearly & loudly, and are highly physical. The best examples I know of are my step brother's girlfriend, my step sister, and my married neighbor... haha. Well I guess some girls from high school too but that was a long time ago.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Stories like this make me not trust women even more. I get checked out by taken women all the time, more than single women.....smh

 

[SHChamp]

I think the best word to describe what I want to feel when I think about and interact with girls (and anything else) is like I said intuitive and its synonyms, but what I over time arrived at as I indulged in red pill sources was a frame of mind that was not only the opposite of that in dispassionate and calculated but also cynical. If game was supposed to make you feel like the high-spirited kids who marched off to WW1 I felt like the wearied, dismal man who came home and felt no sense of excitement at all at the idea of racing through no man's land so you could get to the enemy's trench. To be fair though it wasn't just my new insights that correctly predicted girls' behavior but the dull girls I was seeing and not seeing any end to.

I haven't really succeeded in dealing with it yet. I've become less cynical, but more uncaring of scoring at all, which on the whole I guess means more carefree. The only thing I can think of to revitalize is to meet more girls who are themselves living intuitively. I think you can recognize them, some markers are they'll look at you with wide open eyes, are talkative, talk clearly & loudly, and are highly physical. The best examples I know of are my step brother's girlfriend, my step sister, and my married neighbor... haha. Well I guess some girls from high school too but that was a long time ago.

That is some solid advice guys, I really appreciate it. In terms of everything we discussed, AF really hit the mark when he mentioned being jaded. Let me just make a few things clear before though:
- In no way do I consider her to be above me, both in outward physical appearance or emotional intelligence, the infatuation had nothing to do with her looks
- I am not looking for a LTR with her, as it's simply not possible, regardless of the relationship, because I will move away from this country in half a year
- I am 6"1, muscular build, and I have been a boxer for 9 years. This guy is 5"5, kind of overweight, and boring AF. I am in no way threatened by him, physically or emotionally. If anything, as soon as I saw the guy, the one thing that did make me crack a smile was looking at him.

Now that is out of the way, I am not sure what else to do outside of giving her an ultimatum. The fact is that I will be happy with whatever she chooses. She breaks up with her boyfriend? Great, continue on with being a FB. She doesn't? Move on, meet other girls, and then fck her later when I am outside of this infatuation.

Regardless of that, the real essence of this post now I realized it had nothing to do with her. It was about the infatuation that I really MISSED. AF hit it right on the spot when he explained that jaded, rugged, indifferent feeling. I started feeling lifeless when it came to women, everything else outside of this excites me and I am passionate about (my ambitions, my career). However, as soon as women came into play, I felt NOTHING, it was just another mark for another lay when my balls needed to be emptied. I have felt nothing towards gaming women for a while, and that feeling(or no) of indifference was not what I wanted.

She told you she wanted to end her relationship with him because she didn't feel the same, however she didn't. Her actions didn't match her words.

Instead of making that hard phone call and breaking up with him, she allowed him to continue on with her and his visit, as if all was fine. She perpetuated a lie. The level of disrespect she is showing, him--behind his back (the one she has supposedly loved for the last four years), while she simultaneously disrespects you by expecting you to remain silent, while she fvcks him, right there in the house you share, and to top it off while you are there, is astounding to me. Seriously??

Oh, but that's right she sneaks out to comfort you, between fvcking him so that is suppose to make it all better to you?? That is sick behavior!

You just play along as if her behavior, to him and to you, is acceptable?? Why??

Wake up to the reality of who she is (her behavior)!! Find your self respect again!!

She's not a woman you'll ever be able to trust or respect. A FB at best now. Watch even that, as your oneitis for her is stronger than you realize.

You hit it right on the spot with this one. It's a sensitive spot, harsh, but damn, yes, it's true. Don't get confused though. I haven't spoken to her once outside of her trying to 'comfort' me, in which I kindly told her to fvck off (in a non-butt hurt way, I hope). I don't play along with any behavior, as I have not spoken to the guy once. However, you're completely right with the disrespect that this behavior conveys, it shouldn't be acceptable. I have not spoken to her once since he came here, although I am not sure if that is such a good idea.

 

[SHChamp]

No mate, you need to actually use your 'red-pill knowledge'.

As far as my experience tells me, you are plying a blue-pill game with red-pill knowledge. Therefore, you are all 'depressed'.

Learn to cold-approach. Learn to get your kicks. Use the system to your advantage.

Listen, the average caveman probably saw about a handful of fertile women in his whole life. The average modern man now shags 10 women in a lifetime.

I have approached 20 women in one day. I have dated 3 women in one day. I have fvcked 3 women in one week.

You have no idea the sort of chemicals that rush the body doing such things.

Play a red-pill game and then come back here and give me this emo-stuff.

While there is blue-pill and red-pill, that doesn't mean that every guy on the planet will react to the knowledge the same way. I have done the exact same thing you are doing now for the past year and I feel NOTHING, because you crave for different things than I do. I completely respect that however, but do kindly respect other people for have different emotional and physical respones. We are all men, but we are all different in our unique ways, including our interests, tastes, and experiences.

 

[SHChamp]

You cannot bullsh*t a bullsh*tter.

You start changing your lifestyle for a particular woman, and It's obvious why you are doing that.

If you want to be better than the situation, then you need to understand the situation.

You felt 'indifferent' until you gamed this HB9. Now you want to play a relationship game.

Come on, mate. You wanted a reality check, and there you have it.

You are flipping beta for this piece of arse. How do beta relationships go?

Don't get me wrong, I am not changing my lifestyle. I am the exact same person I am in or out of relationship, outside of me not fvcking other girls. I have been in two of them since my red-pill and I learned how I am in and out of the relationship. And please READ my post, I clearly say there is no way I will go into a relationship with her, outside of the fact that I don't want to, I literally can't because we're both moving to different parts of the world.

I realized I needed a reality check and that is exactly why I came here, but I am not attacking you. I really do value you giving your thoughts to my situation, and I respect that. I won't just accept anything thrown at me though, that is why we discuss it!

 

[AttackFormation]

No mate, you need to actually use your 'red-pill knowledge'.

As far as my experience tells me, you are plying a blue-pill game with red-pill knowledge. Therefore, you are all 'depressed'.

Learn to cold-approach. Learn to get your kicks. Use the system to your advantage.

Listen, the average caveman probably saw about a handful of fertile women in his whole life. The average man now shags 10 women in a lifetime.

I have approached 20 women in one day. I have dated 3 women in one day. I have fvcked 3 women in one week.

You have no idea the sort of chemicals that rush the body doing such things.

Play a red-pill game and then come back here and give me this emo-stuff.

You sound to me very much like the salesman who enjoys his job, which is great - those are the achievers. I hope to travel this winter and for sure will be cold approaching then, but I still don't really care too much because you can hardly fvck strangers without a condom but condoms are like wearing ear muffs on a dancefloor... lol

 

[SHChamp]

I am well aware that I have an ego, but I am willing to listen to reason, it's exactly why I'm here. If giving her an ultimatum is going to bite me in the ass, what do you guys suggest I do?