Realistically is hiring escorts bad if im ashamed of my body

[Slime93]

Im fat and I have tits. Im not sure if im fat anymore or if its mostly loose skin because I've lost most of the weight.

I think I need surgery to look normal. Cant afford that for the foreseeable future.

Its to the point where I go out and girls basically follow me trying to get my attention. I ignore them because I know once I take my shirt off its over. I have no confidence.

Being alone is boring though. I feel like I should hire an escort just to keep me company once a week. Go see a movie or a concert or something. Would that really be bad or sleazy?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Im fat and I have tits. Im not sure if im fat anymore or if its mostly loose skin because I've lost most of the weight.

I think I need surgery to look normal. Cant afford that for the foreseeable future.

Its to the point where I go out and girls basically follow me trying to get my attention. I ignore them because I know once I take my shirt off its over. I have no confidence.

Being alone is boring though. I feel like I should hire an escort just to keep me company once a week. Go see a movie or a concert or something. Would that really be bad or sleazy?

Leave your shirt on for sex, just tell em you have some scars your self conscious about. Some loose skin does rebound over time, just stay at your workouts and keep losing fat and tightening up.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I know once I take my shirt off its over.

Has that actually ever happened? Tell me about two or three girls in a row who ran away when you took your shirt off, and I will sympathize. But right now I'm thinking you have a complex over something that is minor in a woman's eyes, and it's really that insecurity complex that is holding you back, much more so than your actual appearance.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I believe you are holding yourself back unnecessarily. You've lost 120 pounds. That is an amazing accomplishment. It took determination and perseverance. Face this fear of women's rejection with that same level of determination and perseverance. You have already transformed and freed yourself in remarkable ways. Don't hold yourself back now. Free yourself from these limiting beliefs and fears.

 

[LiveYourDream]

OP, read the article, in the link below, repeatedly. Take in what it says. Remind yourself that a woman, with nothing to gain by doing so, gave you the article to read. Embrace what it says and interact with women accordingly.

http://www.themodernman.com/dating/articles/how-do-average-guys-get-hot-women.html

 

[Infern0]

Yeah a lot of it is psycological.

However if the loose skin is bad look into getting surgery, they can improve it a LOT

If you are in England you can get it done for free on the NHS

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Would that really be bad or sleazy?

Only if you think so. But it might not be a good strategy. If you've got cash to afford that, those types will sense your insecurity and take you to the cleaners.

Just date girls but don't take your shirt off.

But you won't, since your skin is just an excuse to cover your insecurity, that EVERYBODY has. Get over it.

 

[ohrein]

Mmm, confidence is a tricky thing. It's something you develop over a long period of time. The old fake it 'til you make it. Once you understand it though, you become bulletproof. The key to overcoming anxieties is to pay attention to your thoughts. First step is to notice you're thinking negatively. The second is to realize your negative thoughts DO NOT reflect reality. They are a fiction you have just created. The third is to reframe the thoughts to reflect reality. The fourth is to EMBRACE worst case scenario and realize it's not that bad.

Example.

"If I go home with this girl, she will reject me because of my loose skin."
"I am having a negative thought."
"I have no evidence that supports my belief she will run away at seeing my loose skin."
"She is probably a nice person and will respect me either way."
"Even if she runs away or is awful to me, at least I tried. The alternative means I gain nothing. You cannot win if you do not play. I am still fine and my life goes on."

If you would like to talk more about this concept, I'd be happy to help. I have "cured" my depression and anxiety using these methods which are essentially cognitive behavioral therapy, one of the most successful treatments for mental illness.

 

[RangerMIke]

If there is something you don't like about yourself then fix that. If it's surgery, then have it. If you don't have the money for it, then get a second job and save to pay for it. Stop making excuses for yourself or create work-around (*****s) get to the root cause of you problems and attack that.

Look at it this way... time is going to pass no matter what, you can either spend that time addressing what it is you want to change, or waste your time being miserable about things you are doing nothing about.

 

[marmel75]

OP, everyone has issues. I have a skin condition that causes me to have red patches on certain parts of my body. Can't see them when I'm clothed because they are in concealed places.

Know how many women have told me they can't have sex with me once we are both naked? ZERO. And a few have noticed it while we were banging, and asked what that is, I just laugh it off and tell them it's my tattoos and they laugh and we just keep going.

Women typically only will make a big deal out of it, if YOU make a big deal out of it.

 

[wifehunter]

Im out of shape up top too, even after walking 3-4 miles a day, for months. "Shirt on" could work if something happens.

 

[MrWood]

I can only hide my floppy dead arm in winter
It really is a huge physical turn off
many times women dont see it until before/during sex

never rejected once

the rejection is in the opener/meeting/attraction phase
once you get in the bedroom, the woman has/should already accepted you

 

[ubercat]

Don't know if it works or not but I'm taking gotu Kola a herbal supplement for shrinking loose skin. Lot of the body builder type swear by it. Have heard anecdotally that it can affect the kidneys. So if you have health issues might be a good idea to get your MD to do a blood test for renal function. If not your kidneys are probably under more strain from the usual crappy Western diet.

My b**** tits have shrunk a fair bit but progress has been very slow and steady so I'm not sure if that's just natural.

If you're going to have surgery make sure you shop around and go to at least three specialists about the outcomes. I took the guru 1000 bootcamp. Got on hair treatments did some minor Botox and fillers. Was much more successful after that. Now it may have just made me more confident. But either way I guess it was money well spent.

 

[MrWood]

prolly much worse for me if I cut my arm off...

 

[Atom Smasher]

Women derive their reality from external sources. The most important thing I ever learned in the DJ lifestyle is this:

Women will believe about you exactly what you believe about yourself.

This is because women feed off your energy. Energy or "vibe" doesn't come from within a woman. She receives energy from the outside. Your energy, or "vibe" penetrates her and defines her reality.

If I feel self-conscious with a woman, she will feel it and will probably get weird. She is looking for reasons to like you and be with you but when you send out a self-conscious vibe, it seems incongruent and scary to her.

I have learned to define my own reality. I used to think I was ugly (something that is not true), and that crippled me. I learned to believe anything I want to believe whether that belief is supported from observation or circumstances or not.

Take away one thing from this... Create your own reality by believing it regardless of evidence.

I used to be unable to do this because I thought it was lying and being inauthentic. I finally realized that most things we believe in life are based on the beliefs we formed as two year olds. Much of what we believe is illusion and self-deception, a way of making our world tangible. It is the belief system of a child trying to figure out a way to cope with the world. Most people go to their graves hanging on to the belief system that was put in place by a two year old.

Women will accept your beliefs hook, line and sinker. Experiment with this an impartial observer of yourself. Go around and purposely decide to delude yourself with a belief that you "know" isn't true. You will find that women believe your own beliefs because they never know what to believe so they must take their cues from other people. They are hard-wired this way and cannot change that.

Therefore, YOU, and every man reading this, have the power to dictate 90% of what she believes about you. Once a man knows this (I mean, really KNOWS this and internalizes this), he has immense power and confidence with women.

Never forget that women NEVER know what to believe so they are forced to believe what others tell them is true. They pick up on our self-assessment and take it as gospel.

Learn to give ZERO F's about what she thinks or how she assesses you. If you do that you clear her mind to accept whatever you believe about yourself, whether supported by current circumstances or not.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Provide fun, and make her FEEL.

There is your formula for success with women.

 

[3agle 3yes]

So, on the one hand you say:

...I think I need surgery to look normal. Cant afford that for the foreseeable future.

But yet you can afford to:

...hire an escort just to keep me company once a week. Go see a movie or a concert or something.

Perhaps you have your priorities the wrong way round?

The reality though, is that more ("normal") women are willing to settle for you than you think.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Create your own reality by believing it regardless of evidence.

Words to live by for any Man at any time.

 

[foreverAFC]

Im out of shape up top too, even after walking 3-4 miles a day, for months. "Shirt on" could work if something happens.

thats cause walking is a waste of time, it doesnt shape and tone and sculpt muscles the way resistance training with weights and machines does

 

[MrWood]

realized the 2 HB9 receptionist at this hotel in Holland are both under 25 and 1 married, the other engaged
as soon as I saw the ring(s) my flirt game went skyhigh, crazy and outcome independent
not one compliment to thier apearances, but alot of questions and humorous sarcasm about THEM
I was bold, rude, humorously sarcastic and no fvcks given
girls (separate occasions) we laughing their asses off, red faced and loved every second of it
body language said way more than these 2 would ever say,
I even reached and touched one on her hand, with the ring, as she had it resting on the counter... she didnt flinch
the other engaged, after my meal I flirted up again, she even positioned her chair as to fave me with slightly open, short skirted legs

me: you studied international business... so why did you move here... to take a ****ty job?
her: to be with my boyfriend
me: would you have moved ANYWHERE for him?
*crickets*
me: yea... thats what I thought <exit>

this... boys, is how you tune day-game