Real bad night! Anything to salvage?

[silverwex]

Hey all,

What a sh1t night i had last night.

Right, was out at my favourite bar having drinks with the boys and the girl ive been kinda seeing for the last week or two was there too (she wasnt with us but with her friends, lets call her XX).

ANyway i decided to use some DJ skills on XX and play hard to get (e.g. wait for her to come to me etc). But to no avail my friends. SHe didnt even come over and say hello, totally the opposite to last weekend when we were out! I told myself we'd see what happens when we hit the club.

(Just a wuick note to say that i asked her to the cinema last week, she said yeah definately at first but then on the wednesday night when we were meant to go she pulled out, but promised we'd go some other time. Anyway i let hr know i was annoyed about this - and since then shes been distant with me. I apologised about that saying id say the same thing to my mates etc and asked her were we still ok, she said yeah and then we frenched - this was two nights ago!!)

SO anyway, we hit the club. EVerything going ok, meet a few of my female friends and talk away to them. XX is there with a big group of hers talking to everyone etc, but still not coming over to me. SO later on i see her and approach and say"hi how r u?" etc, but after about 10 seconds she walks off - i know, i know big sign of Low IL... or playing hard to get?!

Right then i do a really bad AFC move (hey i was clutching at straws here!). HEr good friend is talking to me and asking do I want her to talk to XX and see what the story is? AT first im like "no way, thatd make me look stupid" etc., but then i say fvck it and tell her to tell XX that im only up for a casual thing too, nothing serious. SO the friend goes away and comes back and says "Yeah she wants something like that aswell, where ya can go off with other people etc..". Im like "ok no probs" so i ask XX's friend to dance. She says yeah and we end up frenching (shes an 8.5 by the way ). I knew there was nothing really left to salvage in the relationship with XX (even tho i have one-itis with her) so i thought that i may aswell try it with her mate, the HB 8.5.

ANyway i go back to the table area and i see XX getting cozy with a male friend of hers. Look back over and theyre at it. Turned my stomach guys. Apparently, XX's friend told her we had frenched before XX got with the other fella.

Was this her trying to make me jealous?

I went into a rage, didnt let XX know that tho, and got my jacket and walked out.

XX then sent me a text at about 4am last night, only got it this morn, saying "Silverwex, heard you were annoyed last night! WHy? Claire was upset coz u got p1ssed off w her. Dats not fair!". Claire is a mate of mine who knows XX.

SHould i come clean with her and tell her i like her and that it was hard for me to see her with the fella?

Claire text me too saying XX really does like me but shes just wanting a bit of fun at the moment as she has just come out of a 3yr relationship. the thing is XX was all over me a week ago saying how much she wanted me and to be with me - and that shed dump her bf of 3yrs for me!!!

WHats the low down guys? Know some of ya will just reply with "NEXT" but is there anyway i could get back into XX's pants? ANYWAY?!

 

[Jay26]

but then i say fvck it and tell her to tell XX that im only up for a casual thing too, nothing serious

Well she sure took those words to heart!

Nasty situation, I feel for ya dude.

As to the answer: No idea really, reminds me of some situations I've been in like this, you could write it off, but her behaviour is a little strange, sounds like there's some fluctuating interest there bit flakey and all. I'd say go with your instinct next time you see her, it'll seldom do you wrong.

 

[silverwex]

Thanks man, the dreaded one-itis is kicking in. Hate this feeling!

Well i was in touch with claire again and she said:

"she said she likes you and wants 2 shift (french) you but i dont think she wants a boyfriend, oh and you didnt text(sms) her, so u kinda let yourself in for it!"

The thing is, the only reason i held back from texting her all the time was coz i was playting hard to get and trying to make her think i was busy all the time. This usually works but with this girl it backfired, dont ya think?

I know some of you guys will say "NEXT HER" but its hard. I wanna see if theres any chance left. And yes i know im acting like an AFC here but she doesnt know how i really feel!

 

[trajhenkhet]

Watch it. She sounds the type to act all pissy when they don't get their way. Headcase alert!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by silverwex


(Just a wuick note to say that i asked her to the cinema last week, she said yeah definately at first but then on the wednesday night when we were meant to go she pulled out, but promised we'd go some other time. Anyway i let hr know i was annoyed about this - and since then shes been distant with me. I apologised about that saying id say the same thing to my mates etc and asked her were we still ok, she said yeah and then we frenched - this was two nights ago!!)

You let her know you were annoyed...how? DJ's don't get annoyed...they just don't tolerate this BS. You should've just remained quiet and waited for her to call you. At any rate, apologizing was a sign of weakness. You could even get away with calling her again, but don't apologize.

SO anyway, we hit the club. EVerything going ok, meet a few of my female friends and talk away to them. XX is there with a big group of hers talking to everyone etc, but still not coming over to me. SO later on i see her and approach and say"hi how r u?" etc, but after about 10 seconds she walks off - i know, i know big sign of Low IL... or playing hard to get?!

Did she at least talk to you? Did she say she was going somewhere? Did she just flake and walk away?

Right then i do a really bad AFC move (hey i was clutching at straws here!). HEr good friend is talking to me and asking do I want her to talk to XX and see what the story is? AT first im like "no way, thatd make me look stupid" etc., but then i say fvck it and tell her to tell XX that im only up for a casual thing too, nothing serious.

Or you could've sent her a note that said
DO YOU LIKE ME?
[]YES []NO

SO the friend goes away and comes back and says "Yeah she wants something like that aswell, where ya can go off with other people etc..". Im like "ok no probs" so i ask XX's friend to dance. She says yeah and we end up frenching (shes an 8.5 by the way ). I knew there was nothing really left to salvage in the relationship with XX (even tho i have one-itis with her) so i thought that i may aswell try it with her mate, the HB 8.5.

Nice.

ANyway i go back to the table area and i see XX getting cozy with a male friend of hers. Look back over and theyre at it. Turned my stomach guys. Apparently, XX's friend told her we had frenched before XX got with the other fella.

Was this her trying to make me jealous?

I went into a rage, didnt let XX know that tho, and got my jacket and walked out.

If she was trying to make you jealous, the LAST thing you want to do is "go into a rage". She owns you now.

XX then sent me a text at about 4am last night, only got it this morn, saying "Silverwex, heard you were annoyed last night! WHy? Claire was upset coz u got p1ssed off w her. Dats not fair!". Claire is a mate of mine who knows XX.

Or maybe not...she thinks you were angry at her FRIEND for something...if you're lucky, she was too "busy" to notice that you were jealous. If you're LUCKY.

SHould i come clean with her and tell her i like her and that it was hard for me to see her with the fella?

No. No no no no no no NO.

Claire text me too saying XX really does like me but shes just wanting a bit of fun at the moment as she has just come out of a 3yr relationship. the thing is XX was all over me a week ago saying how much she wanted me and to be with me - and that shed dump her bf of 3yrs for me!!!

WHats the low down guys? Know some of ya will just reply with "NEXT" but is there anyway i could get back into XX's pants? ANYWAY?!

Man...start acting like a DJ and you MIGHT have a chance. When I think about it, this entire episode has AFC written all over it. You need to get in control of your anger and your fear, not let them control YOU.

 

[Legend]

you mad some wrong moves, but it does'nt matter. When a girl acts distant, you should act even more distant. What were you thinking......I bet the girl thinks you went to that bar to see her hanging around. I try to avoid seeing the girls i'm dating when i'm out with my bud's. Everything seems to work out better and i end up having a better time. Girls are so insane lately. I cant find a normal one. I can only find one night stands.

 

[silverwex]

Cheers squirrels, legend etc.

IM not sure what the story is. I read the bible today and and saw the bit where it says: "Dont judge a girl by what she says, judge her by her actions". SO judging by that it doesnt look too good huh?

Squirrels:
I let her know i was annoyed by saying that usually if a girl stood me up id tell her to get lost etc... Didnt really say it in an angry manner tho. But i read on this site that you should come clean and let the grl know that u dont get messed around - i suppose i came on a bit too much too quickly huh?

Squirrels: Did she at least talk to you? Did she say she was going somewhere? Did she just flake and walk away?

Well she did for a very short while and then said she had to go somewhere and walked off. I dunno man, sometimes shes all nice and then she'd just ignore me.

So what should i do now?

I was thinking of acting distant and not contacting her and just playing it mysterious?

She does get affected when i dont reply to her texts. SHould i totally ignore them for, say, 2 weeks and then get in touch?

Thanks