Read This If You're "Missing" Your BDP

[BlueAlpha1]

B*tch drove you here by building you up and then breaking you down? Having trouble breaking out of it? Good - use this as motivation.

The BDP story repeats itself with every case. Only tiny details are different from my story to yours. In many cases the psycho is quite a few years older than you, with obscene baggage like multiple kids by multiple men. On paper, these women are not a catch but you got caught up to an unhealthy level because of their uncanny charm in the beginning. Of course, this is by design and she hooked you. What's done is done. Especially in the case of my BPD, who is now 34 years old (I'm 26) with two kids by two different men and was losing her figure rapidly since the last time I saw her, the tides are going to turn. I don't know exactly when, and I don't know if she'll ever see the extent of it, but if Rollo's SMV scale has any legitimacy whatsoever, the tides will have shifted to an ugly level when I'm 32, rich, and successful and she's 40 and over the hill. All I have to do is make smart choices in the interim.

Work out, get a tan, build my brand on the side, and work on my game. Getting laid never came easy for me, but I learn something new with every success or flake. I am progressively treating women differently - outcome independence at the forefront. I open random girls in the computer lab about how hot it is inside or at the grocery store line in front. I am working on the girl who cuts my hair and have been easing her in, and she has been opening up more each of the 3 times I've seen her.

My BPD still comes to mind regularly, but it is controlled now. I was recently dancing with a beautiful Czech girl who dressed feminine and spoke 5 languages at a concert in Spain during a month-long trip to Europe, and I felt a little bit of sweet redemption knowing that if my ex were a fly on the wall, despite all her infidelities she would have been seething at that moment. Of course if we ever cross paths again, she ain't seen nothing yet.

When your BDP left you for the last time, consider it a demon who possessed you exorcising itself willingly. For you horror movie fans, that never happens. The beauty of it all is when you've been through the hellfire, you come out fireproof.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

For those on here who have experienced a BPD or at the least an ex who had BPD like tendencies, they will know what OP is talking about. Never a truer word spoken.
And as far as my story goes - BPD ex just contacted me about what's going on in her life. She's married now. Still contacts me, even after several years.
OP also mentions outcome independence. That and never having oneitis again, are two of the most valuable lessons I've learned over the years. Not saying Im perfect, but at least I know.
That makes me happy

 

[Infern0]

Complaining about bpd exes etc is also not something you should be doing.

In most cases they were the wake up call that us former AFC's needed, "normal girls" can't quite get the message off that there is something drastically wrong in our lives that BPD's do. When they split you and rage at you, they spit harsh truth in a way normal people just don't, i realized that when she called me pathetic etc, she was right.

I like to think of what they do as the harshest kind of tough love, no doubt mine caused me immense pain but in the end, she changed me for the better, so why be bitter. If i was a healthy person she'd have never have got me, I had a weakness that needed fixing and i fixed it because of her being in my life, so long term it was a win.

Their lives are hell, constant scurrying around for "supply" they will never achieve anything or do anything, they just bounce around looking for happiness which is impossible for them until they run out the clock and lose their looks, at which point they just become insane histrionic old women, or kill themselves.

They shouldn't be hated, they should be pitied. from a safe distance.