READ THIS!! I need help, not woman related.

pinoypower

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Okay,

here's the situation. There is this one guy just came from the philippines who now wants to start a new life here in bay area, california. THe things that I know about him: he is in his late forties, he is temporarily living in my uncle/aunt's house, i do not know if he is related, he used to be married, now divorced. like most filipinos, He can speak and understand english very well.

and NO, this is not a gay type question

okay. a few weeks ago my uncle invited me and my brother to go out and eat dinner. Casual thing, nothing special. This person, lets called him "the dude", i meet for the first time. my uncle introduced him to me and all. During the dinner, my uncle tells the dude about how great I am (bodybuilding, learning how to play piano by myself, starting my own business and all of the other crap that portrays that I am like "the all knowing guy, with the ability to fix any sort of problems".

My uncle told me that he and her wife will be leaving the country for a month or so and that "the dude" will be staying at their place alone. My uncle told me that I should show him around the city or such to get familiar.

The next day my uncle and aunt left, "the dude" asked me to come over my uncles place (where he lives at the moment), to fix some computer related problems (how to upload digital camera pictures, how to get into a webcam). What bothered me about this was that he called me quite late (9pm). So I come over immediately and be nice to help him since he is new to the country.

WHile we were talking, he also wanted help on other things (meeting women, and how to record his vhs tapes into dvd). I told him that I am no expert in meeting women, and I could help him do the vhs to dvd recording at a later time. What ticked me off was when he told me that he wanted to edit his the recordings (recording only the parts he wanted AND having the ability to record his voice while recoring the clips).

later on after I finished fixing the computer stuff, he asked me if i could take pictures of him so he could post it on some online dating sites. I was cool with everything until he asked me to take a picture of him in the bathroom, posing, without his shirt on. My gosh, i wish he didn't do THAT!!

after that, he asked me where the dmv was, and told me that it would be great if he drives and show him how to get there. So we did that crap. and finally it is over and i went home. TIme is a little past 12 am. Crap, I have to go to sleep now and wake up at 6:30 for work.

the following days, he calls me almost everyday. Probably 6 out of the 7 days of the week. and he goes to my house occasionally.

some things that he needs help on or does that pisses me off:

-his yahoo mail sh*t won't send messages but will receive messages
-he wants me to hook him up with our tennant
-he asks me what to tell her to spark her interest
-he asks about how he can get a library card (he is at the library).
-his yahoo mail sh*t now can send messages but not attach files
-he wanted to see old steve martin movies that he already saw ages ago.
-we rented two steve martin **** movies,
-he wants to see one over the other
-I refuse, yet he persists
- I refuse again, and now he shuts up and watches the movie that I WANT TO SEE FIRST (its my goddam blockbuster money and my damn theater, you are the guest, just behave), i wanted to tell him that but it would be too rude.
- in the middle of the movie, he says that the other movie is better.
- after the movie is over, he wants to see the other movie.
- I turned of the projector, and told him that i have to go to sleep (it is 11:30 pm)
-he borrows the other movie we didn't watch along with two of my microwavable popcorns.
-he asks me if i could come over his house and set up the vcr. I told him no, try figuring it out yourself. So he did.
- he calls about wheter if pulp free or with pulp orange juice is better
- he calls about where is Fremont
- he asks about my cell phone number (which i didn't give)
- he asked me about the house number (which he already have).
- he wants me to cut his hair.


-there is more sh*t to say, but I think you get the point-- the dude is driving me nuts.

I don't know where this is going but it seems like the next thing he is going to ask me is that he injured his arms and now he can't wipe his ass!


HELP!!
 
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Obviously he is lonely and wants someone to talk to or he is a homo and likes you - tje picture with his shirt off is homo-ish!

Don't do anything with him after 8pm - homos get excited when darkness looms!!:D
 

MacDiddy

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Don't answer his calls. Don't let him in your house. Make up some BS. Be firm with your BS. If you get caught out, just say sorry and slam the door. He'll eventually get the message.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

chili kat

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Screw up everything. Blame it on the lack of sleep. Mumble something incoherant, laugh, shrug it off, then ask if he still wants that hair cut.
 

falloutboy

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Behavioral psychology--positive reinforcement.. only respond to him if he does something that doesn't annoy you. Otherwise ignore him or hang up the next time he asks about orange juice, but don't EVER say "no" because that just invites him to keep talking. If it works for hyperactive puppies I'm sure it works for overdependent old guys. I mean come on, if he wants you to cut his hair something is amiss in this relationship.


Oh yeah, I know jokes about gay guys are kinda mean, but some of these posts are friggin hilarious.

:D
 

KennyBoo

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Ask him if he would like to play a friendly game of "Twister" with you. If he says "ok" run like hell and don't look back!
 

Soma

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I live in Newark. That dude is my Uncle. When he asked directions to Fremont he was mistaken. He was trying to come here, by Newpark Mall but he thought I lived in Fremont.

Oh, don't worry, he always asks guys to take pictures of him with his shirt off, in the bathroom, late at night. No biggie. He just gets off on it.

Ask him about the striped sock he carries with him in his right pocket! Oh man, do that and post here about what he says. Hilarious!

If he starts to massage your shoulders and neck, just relax. It's all good. Him and his buddies do it all the time. It's an ancient pinoy custom to rub the back of the man you'd die for.

Peace out.

-Soma
 

alnite

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Originally posted by Soma
I live in Newark. That dude is my Uncle. When he asked directions to Fremont he was mistaken. He was trying to come here, by Newpark Mall but he thought I lived in Fremont.

Oh, don't worry, he always asks guys to take pictures of him with his shirt off, in the bathroom, late at night. No biggie. He just gets off on it.

Ask him about the striped sock he carries with him in his right pocket! Oh man, do that and post here about what he says. Hilarious!

If he starts to massage your shoulders and neck, just relax. It's all good. Him and his buddies do it all the time. It's an ancient pinoy custom to rub the back of the man you'd die for.

Peace out.

-Soma
Dude, are you the same guy as the OP? I am confused reading your post.


anyway, hilarious stuff. If I were you I wouldn't know how to react either. Just be unavailable all the time. Don't answer his calls for like...a week?
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

check_mate_kid_uk

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no wonder your aunt and uncle went away for a month:p
 

C-Damage

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Yeah blatent...just tell him in no uncertain terms to f--uck off.

Hes acting like your his best mate or something and if your best mate was pissing you off with something stupid (like almost everything on that list) you would tell them (in a laughing, but certain way - to go to hell - and you wouldnt do any of it.)

Just say 'f-uck off, i aint cutting your hair', 'fookoff, i aint advising you on orange juice' eventualy he'l get the message of whats stupid and whats not. And if your worried that he may 'report you' to your rellies or something you can just tell them that he was making stupid requets. ALSO - laugh at his requests to be hooked up with people...tell him

'hey you cant even tie your shoelaces mate - i aint telling anyone that your worth dating' (Or laugh at him and tell him their all out of his league).

Force him to think for himself by not answring his stupid questions and whineings for help. Also laugh at him alot...it will put him in his place and make sure hes aware of the fact that hes not a figure of respect if he cant do anything for himself.

But to be honist he sounds like a bender who has no idea and you and your rellies would probably be best shot of him. Have you spoken to your aunt or uncle about this guy? Do they value his presence? Do they want shot of him? WHY is he being allowed to live in their house?

Keep an eye on him, and if i were you i'd make it clear that you'l give him a thrashing if he does anything thats not on.
 

alakazam

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This is totally unreleated....but this thread reminded me of one time after karate practice. One of the students asked the sensei why we don't get a place with showers in the changerooms.

The solemn old Japanese man , who was about 5'3" turned and calmly said "Attracts too many queers."

Was a hilarious moment.
 
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