Raped...

amnbyrd

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Just found out that the girl Ive been with for the past month was raped several months back in tech school. She said she was knocked out drunk(confirmed by another guy) and 3 guys took turns on her. She said she came to and kicked the guys out and cried the rest of the night wrapped in a blanket. One of her close friends here was there(though he wasnt one of the guys messing with her)
Now this def explains a lot of things with her, like how she has baggage/how fragile she is.
ANyways today after we spent the night together she asked me to go to breakfast with her and her friend. I said no and when she asked why I said because I dont like her friend(he was the guy who was there though he didnt mess with her he was a b!tch and didnt stop the 3 guys. She said if I dont like him then I dont like her. I feel confident on this and Im gonna stand my ground even if she wants to break things off because I dont like him. Any input would be appreciated. Do you guys think Im reacting well or??
 

lookyoung

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Your reacting like a guy. This is how any guy would act who cares about his girlfriend. Its in our nature. Do not listen to your girlfriend on this. Stay strong be a man.

Is this girl really worth the hassle? I was with a girl once who gave me the similiar story and I was miserable for the majority of the relationship.

These girls who have been raped have deep emotional issues. They will suck the positive energy right out of you. Your a young kid, get out and spin some plates. There are woman out there that will be more steady than the one you have now. And if she wants to break things off than she will be doing you a favor.
 

amnbyrd

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yea man I understand completely what you're saying and now that I think about it I know breaking things off what be better for me. Just not sure how I wanna go about things now. Thanks for ur input though.
 

Brians_600rr

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lookyoung said:
These girls who have been raped have deep emotional issues. They will suck the positive energy right out of you. Your a young kid, get out and spin some plates. There are woman out there that will be more steady than the one you have now. And if she wants to break things off than she will be doing you a favor.
Lol. this man is speaking the truth. girls with deep emotional issues WILL suck all the positive energy right out of a perfect guy!!!! i say stand ur ground. BE A MAN!!! Stand up for wat u believe in!!! good luck man
 

j0n024

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Really stand your ground bro, I mean ask her to think about how you feel about the situation on one hand there is you being angry at the fact that this piece of **** didnt do anything and then there is her side where she is still friends with the piece of **** that didn't do anything now what sounds "Right." Good luck
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

tsmith2334

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lookyoung said:
Is this girl really worth the hassle? I was with a girl once who gave me the similiar story and I was miserable for the majority of the relationship.

These girls who have been raped have deep emotional issues. They will suck the positive energy right out of you. Your a young kid, get out and spin some plates. There are woman out there that will be more steady than the one you have now. And if she wants to break things off than she will be doing you a favor.
Sad but true. I was in a similar situation and I agree. Be very careful.
 

DonRaul

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wow, Same thing happen to me just weeks ago. Well for me it wasnt worth the trouble and I disapeared from her life.

To be honest I know there are guys out there who put stuff in women's drinks but I hear that sh*t way too often. I think this is just an excuse for her wild behavior. Dont believe her. Who is this other guy who confirmed it? This is probably the reason why her friend didnt do a thing. She probably gave her consent to the whole thing and that's the reason she is defending her friend. She feels quilty now after the fact. She knows if it was a real rape situation he would have helped otherwise she would be just as angry as you trust me on this.
 

Nighthawk

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Why didn't she go to the police? She even had a witness. Not saying it didn't happen like she said, but it's a fair question and she still could put these dangerous rapists behind bars if she wants justice or to protect other women.
 

ketostix

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One of her close friends here was there(though he wasnt one of the guys messing with her)
I dont like her friend(he was the guy who was there though he didnt mess with her he was a b!tch and didnt stop the 3 guys. She said if I dont like him then I dont like her.
Her story doesn't add up. I don't believe her at all.
 

Axcell

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Drama queen much? Honestly, if you were able to pick her up in the first place, I am pretty damn sure you will be able to pick plenty of other chicks as well.
I honestly have been with many women who act in this manner, and if its anything I have learned, it's that all that time was wasted because the last thing you want is to be in a relationship with a girl who only puts you down and is ready to give up your relationship with her so easily.

Do yourself a favor, and let her go. And don't do it so harshly, do it like a man. And if she dares to tell you that she will end it with you, make sure you end it first. Tell her, "I thought we were much stronger than that. But hey, if you are willing to let what we have go so easily only because I don't like one of your friends, than maybe we weren't meant to be. Sorry for caring about you, see you around." And just leave.
Your first instinct is that it may not sound very DJ-ish, but you will notice that with this method, she will be running back to you, because you ended it off on your terms and you made her feel so pathetic, as if she lost the most amazing boyfriend ever for one of the dumbest reasons.

Whether you decide to take her back or not, is your choice. But it seems that she has all the power in your relationship at the moment, and it's very evident in your post. If you want to switch things around and you still want to be with this girl, I suggest you do what I said above. It's not GUARANTEED to work to get her back, but it's definetly the best way to go with this situation.

Hope I helped.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

KontrollerX

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If she was really raped she needs to report those guys to the police and stop them from raping other women.

I realize its hard for people who have had this happen to report it because of the shame they might feel from it but its necessary to stop it from happening to anyone else.

In anycase you are doing the right thing here.

The guy who just stood around and let it happen was afraid of getting his ass kicked.

He's not much of a man for that.

Anyway keep in mind this all could be some big lie from both of them to mess with your head for whatever reason.

If its a lie he's her friend so expect him to say anything that she wants.

In either case lie or truth you have to decide whether this is drama you want or need in your life.

Like another poster said you're a young guy you don't need to let yourself be dragged down by this.

Its alright to support and help people but only if its something you really want to be doing and only if that person really wants to be helped.
 

Dongfu

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I would go with her and confront the guy about it in front of her :trouble:

Then, he'll either explain himself, or he'll punk out, and she'll see that he's just a punk.
 

penkitten

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heres the reality http://www.paralumun.com/issuesrapestats.htm


Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.
Over the last two years, more than 787,000 women were the victim of a rape or sexual assault. (National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S.Department of Justice, 1996.
The FBI estimates that 72 of every 100,000 females in the United States wereraped last year. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, Uniform Crime Statistics, 1996.)

One of the most startling aspects of sex crimes is how many go unreported. The most common reasons given by women for not reporting these crimes are the belief that it is a private or personal matter and the fear of reprisal from the assailant.

Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994)

The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.

In 1994-1995, only 251,560 rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement officials -- less than one in every three. (National Crime Victimization Survey, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.)

One of every four rapes take place in a public area or in a parking garage.

31% of female victims reported that the offender was a stranger.

68% of rapes occur between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m.

At least 45% of rapists were under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

In 29% of rapes, the offender used a weapon.

In 47% of rapes, the victim sustained injuries other than rape injuries.

75% of female rape victims require medical care after the attack.

Family violence and abuse are among the most prevalent forms of interpersonal violence against women and young children -- both boys and girls. The sexual abuse of a child should never be "just a family matter," but many children are afraid to report an incident to the police because the abusers are too often a family friend or relative.

Approximately one-third of all juvenile victims of sexual abuse cases are children younger than 6 years of age. (Violence and the Family, Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, 1996.)

According to the Justice Department, one in two rape victims are under age 18; one in six are under age 12. (Child Rape Victims, 1992. U.S. Department of Justice.)

About 81% of rape victims are white; 18% are black; 1% are of other races. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994.)

About half of all rape victims are in the lowest third of income distribution; half are in the upper two-thirds. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994.)
The adult pregnancy rate associated with rape is estimated to be 4.7%. This information, in conjunction with estimates based on the U.S. Census, suggest that there may be 32,101 annual rape-related pregnancies among American women over the age of 18.17
Non-genital physical injuries occur in approximately 40% of completed rape cases.18 As many as 3% of all rape cases have non-genital injuries requiring overnight hospitalization.19

Victims of rape often manifest long-term symptoms of chronic headaches,18,20fatigue20, sleep disturbance20, recurrent nausea,20 decreased appetite,21 eating disorders,22 menstrual pain,18 sexual dysfunction,23 and suicide attempts.21 In a longitudinal study, sexual assault was found to increase the odds of substance abuse by a factor of 2.5.24

Estimates of the occurrence of sexually transmitted diseases resulting from rape range from 3.6% to 30%.18,22 HIV transmission risk rate from rape is estimated at 1 in 500,22,25 although a few probable cases have been documented in Sweden and Great Britain. 26,27

Victims of marital or date rape are 11 times more likely to be clinically depressed, and 6 times more likely to experience social phobia than are non-victims. Psychological problems are still evident in cases as long as 15 years after the assault.28

Fatalities occur in about 0.1% of all rape cases.29,30

A study examining the use of health services over a five year period by female members of a health maintenance program found that the number of visits to physicians by rape victims increased 56% in the year following the crime, compared to a 2% utilization increase by non-victims.31

The National Public Services Research Institute estimates the lifetime cost for each rape with physical injuries which occurred in 1987 to be $60,000.32
 

Interceptor

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I think it's weird for her to be accepting of the jack ass who didn't lift a finger while the other punks were banging her while she was passed out.

I will say this...

Women instinctively know that men are the only ones who can protect them.
 

penkitten

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Interceptor said:
I think it's weird for her to be accepting of the jack ass who didn't lift a finger while the other punks were banging her while she was passed out.

I will say this...

Women instinctively know that men are the only ones who can protect them.
i agree with the first part....
but the second i can't agree with here because how can this guy friend protect her from anything when he couldn't stop a 3some from gang banging raping her while he sat in another room and heard the racket, the noise, the screams once she awakened, or even over heard a plan between the 3 of what they would do once they got in there? he did not put himself in the middle to stop it, nor did he alert the police, instead he awaited until the damage was done, so that he could be her brave shoulder to lean on once the tears fell.
how can she stand the sight of him?
he is no friend to her!
he is just as much an advantager, because he allowed it to happen because he was too chicken to be a man or a friend or a human.
i bet they asked him to join in before they went in there.

or this story has been told the way she wants to tell it because telling a story of how you got drunk and had a threesome with strangers and then told everyone you were raped, seems like more of a ladylike story.

truth is, you will never know 100% of any story.
but if the sight of him does not make her want to vomit, i would question why not.

sorry for the ramblings.
 

hell695

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I agree with interceptor, I find it weird that she'd rather be with some idiot who couldn't protect at all
in stead of her boyfriend, unless the story is bull****
_____________

"it's only the little dogs that bark"- various
 

Maxtro

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When I first read the title I thought the author had been raped.

I can't believe that she is still friends with the guy who let the other guys rape her.
 

skirtChaser

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I got raped once by two girls, she forced me into having a pi$$ hard on, both girls took turns getting on top of me "froggy style" and thrusting their pu$$ys on my slong, after that night I decided not to file charges, instead I sent them thank you cards. later that year I heard they were flying to the coast and the plane they were riding in all of a sudden flew upside down, supposedly, they both had a "hairy crack up".
 

Maxtro

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skirtChaser said:
I got raped once by two girls, she forced me into having a pi$$ hard on, both girls took turns getting on top of me froggy style and thrusting their pu$$ys on my slong, after that night I decided not to file charges, instead I sent them thank you cards. later that year I heard they were flying to the coast and the plane they were riding in all of a sudden flew upside down, supposedly, they both had a "hairy crack up".
ROFL :crackup:

Now that I think about it rape from a girl can suck.

Picture this scenario

You're with a hot young girl, both of you get naked. She decides to be a little kinky and wants to tie you up and you accept. Once you are all secure she walks over to the door and opens it. In walks a 400lb woman beast. You struggle but you can't get loose. The beast walks over to you and climbs on the bed...:eek:
 

Dilberto

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I wouldn't trust her guy friend as far as I can throw him.

Bow-out quietly NOW....she's damaged goods.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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