Randomly feeling depressed

[Blazing]

I don't get to check these forums as much as I'd like but recently things have been kinda weird. To give a little back ground in the last two weeks I've moved back to my college town for my last year of undergrad and I've been spending time with the gf that I hadn't seen a whole lot over the summer and all that's great I really enjoy our time together. But this weekend I can't help but feel kinda depressed for some reason. When I try to explain it its really just an empty feeling. Maybe its just feelings about my relationship being kinda dead end in that idk if it will even last after I graduate and go on to professional school I'd guess the odds aren't good lol. I also find myself not identifying as well with my hs and college friends because I'm not content with dead end jobs and getting blackout drunk every weekend.

I know this is primarily a relationship type forum but I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever dealt with this kind of down feelings. Feel free to delete if this thread is out of place.

Thanks,

 

[crossedup]

Hey bud, I struggle with the same issues friendwise. I have graduated school and been in a serious engineering job now for over a year, now going back for grad school next year.

I used to get black out drunk with my friends in college and never really gave a sh*t about my success as long as I was with friends. Now that I am working, I have a desire to become a success in the business world and am working a lot of hours and I'm extremely focused on my career. My friends did not go through the same changes, they are still living the party lifestyle of the past.

I find it nearly impossible to relate with them to be honest. They completely lack many of the qualities I now look for in friends. They are selfish and complain about things all too much while getting drunk far too often. They see kindness and people with real character as weak. Good luck working at the gas station guys...All you can do is keep working hard and find new friends.

That depressed feeling definitely comes up because you are now different than anyone you know. You lack support from other like-minded people. You can't share your ideas because they will be written off by your "friends". They will always try to bring you down to their level. Remember that. Do not let them influence you, and stick to your dreams. I am going through the same thing, and other more important people are beginning to notice. I am likely going to be promoted soon to a leading role at work making a lot of money.

The problem now is that those "friends" were really my only access to girls. So I'm kind of f*cked in that department atm with the hours I'm working and the night courses in engineering coming up.

Ditch the losers, find people who suit your lifestyle.

 

[Blazing]

That is very true the feeling comes and goes. I suppose it is partly from all the uncertainty that comes with moving on after college. My gf helps snaps me out of these moods and so do friends even if we don't have have the same goals they're still good people. I guess it's just odd not having very many like minded people in my social circle right now.

 

[goodganji44]

Ive been there before. Sounds like you just have to much alone time and its starting to let negative thoughts creep in. Seems to me that you are taking steps in the right direction by going to school so keep focusing on your career.

The number 1 stress reliever in your situation would be some PS3. Go play a good video game and you'll forget why youre depressed in the first place.

 

[Blazing]

Okay coming back as a follow up I'll just be blunt about it.

Really think alot of this comes from the a few things in my life right now.

I feel like the majority of the time the only thing that makes me happy is spending time with my gf. Now I realize there's 100's of things wrong with this I worry about being too needy but I don't know how exactly to keep this from happening. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

In general my social circle has kind of broken down due to people graduating/ being at a different place in life than my old friends. I'm not the most sociable probably introverted by most standards but I'm not socially inept I can make conversation with just about anyone. I guess I really just feel alone, I have hobbies I enjoy working out and sports, but it's kinda just me doing everything by myself most the time.

If anyone has any kind of experience with this I'd appreciate it. I know alot of people would assume if someone says they think they're deppressed they're probably not. So I've avoided ever mentioning this to anyone (family,gf,etc). I guess that's why I'm seeking advice on the internet lol

 

[Packers2010]

if you don't relate to your friends anymore make new friends.

though, it seams like you have everything you want? so you shouldn't be depreseed.

i've got a ****ed up life and i'm not depressed

 

[Blazing]

You're right. I was just venting the other night I guess. It only happens every now and then. I guess making life decision for the future (pharmacy school, etc) just seems really daunting right now. But a change in scenery might just be what I need

 

[JoeMarron]

i've got a ****ed up life and i'm not depressed

Something about this line cracked me up. Gentlemen..if ever you feel depressed...remember Packers..who has a fvcked up life but isn't depressed.

 

[NunJuan]

You're right. I was just venting the other night I guess. It only happens every now and then. I guess making life decision for the future (pharmacy school, etc) just seems really daunting right now. But a change in scenery might just be what I need

I had that and it went better when I looked for out-door activities. Do sport, diversify your hobbies and open yourself to novel experiences.
Bring you GF with you in your activities (that's why out-door worked best for me) you will share new experiences not involving sex.

School, work and relations isn't everything. The central thing is you... If you feel depressed in a way or another, it will affect everything.

 

[backbreaker]

OP I could have wrote your post word for word man, I can relate to what you are going through better than you can possibly imainge. Feeling like a sore thumb simply beucase you don't want o play all the time.


I too had to make a break from my firends and then i went through a very tough period where i was alone and did not realize how much help my friends were in helping me getting laid when i got laid. it's what made drug use a very easy transition for me.


This is what I did


1. MOVE. the most pragmatic thing possible is to move. I'm from little rock and little rock while not a small town is not what you would call a bustling city. without my friends it was hard to find **** to do, hard to meet girls. Har to not look like a creep just because you want to have fun. so i moved to san diego. a world of difference. always **** to do, always **** to keep myself entertained, etc.

2. Don't take it personally. You aren't the one wrong. i for a long time thought i was the one that was wrong beucase i had no friends and didn't fit in. even though i was successful. i opeople looked up to me but no one wanted to hang out with me, that's a very fustating feeling. and you know what i realized now at 30 years old? that was their problem not mine. i eventually found my niche (And a wife lol) of friends who i fit in perfectly with.


there will be people that tell you that all work and no play.... but they don't get it. the probelm isn't that you don't want to play the problem is that playing by yourself is more stressful and depressing than work so you work. i've been there lol.

my main advice man is just hang in there. keep chugging alone it will get better., use this time constructivly. it's going to pass anyway do something positive.

 

[Blazing]

OP I could have wrote your post word for word man, I can relate to what you are going through better than you can possibly imainge. Feeling like a sore thumb simply beucase you don't want o play all the time.


I too had to make a break from my firends and then i went through a very tough period where i was alone and did not realize how much help my friends were in helping me getting laid when i got laid. it's what made drug use a very easy transition for me.


This is what I did


1. MOVE. the most pragmatic thing possible is to move. I'm from little rock and little rock while not a small town is not what you would call a bustling city. without my friends it was hard to find **** to do, hard to meet girls. Har to not look like a creep just because you want to have fun. so i moved to san diego. a world of difference. always **** to do, always **** to keep myself entertained, etc.

2. Don't take it personally. You aren't the one wrong. i for a long time thought i was the one that was wrong beucase i had no friends and didn't fit in. even though i was successful. i opeople looked up to me but no one wanted to hang out with me, that's a very fustating feeling. and you know what i realized now at 30 years old? that was their problem not mine. i eventually found my niche (And a wife lol) of friends who i fit in perfectly with.


there will be people that tell you that all work and no play.... but they don't get it. the probelm isn't that you don't want to play the problem is that playing by yourself is more stressful and depressing than work so you work. i've been there lol.

my main advice man is just hang in there. keep chugging alone it will get better., use this time constructivly. it's going to pass anyway do something positive.

This thread has honestly been great for me. Idk if it was just venting or what but I'm feeling better. It gets to a certain point feeling down where I noticed that even little things seemed to feel worse than what they really are. I can relate to this although my college town is much smaller than little rock and is quite rural/small city. But I think this week I'm going to try to do more things such as hiking and not just working out. As well as trying to take up meditation again as I feel it could be super beneficial. I'll post updates if I feel I've made any progress.