Judging by some of the posts on these boards, quite a few people around here are becoming trigger-happy when it comes to nexting. Whenever a girl displays anything but high interest level, they are quick to assume that there's something wrong with HER, and move on. A course of action such as this one stems from a flawed belief that if you display what YOU believe to be your best side, a girl must like you, and if she doesn't, there's something wrong with HER and there's nothing you can do about it.
Let me tell you a little story. I met this girl awhile back and at first, things were going great. Her interest level was sky-high, we talked all the time and it looked like i had everything set. Then one day, seemingly for no particular reason, things took a turn for the worse. She stopped returning my calls, and several weeks later, i decided to next her, which i did. But my analytical nature wouldn't let this slide. I kept asking myself how her interest in me could disappear! Is SHE playing games with me? Is HER mind a mess? What's wrong with HER?
Can you see what's wrong with this approach? I was assuming that the problem is on her side. But as i'm about to illustrate, this was not the case. I finally gave in to temptation, sat down and analyzed the hell out of this situation. I digged into my memories and remembered the last conversations we had while her interest level was still high. And guess what, i realized that there was this one thing that i said jokingly, which she may have taken seriously. Nothing major really, but then i applied some of the knowledge i recently gained on these boards about girls of her particular ethnicity and voila!
Over the years, i learned to trust my gut. Too many times i ignored my instincts and blamed myself later, and for the life of me, i can't remember one time when they were wrong. So i did the seemingly non-DJ thing and called a girl that i decided to next. One that my pride was telling me not to call. And guess what, that little thing i mentioned earlier was the cause of all my problems. She simply misunderstood my joke, and now that this misunderstanding was taken care of, her interest level went back up. Of course, there are no guarantees, but things look good so far, and i'm definitely happy that i took the time to analyze the situation and act on my instincts.
The moral of the story is this: just because the girl isn't acting the way you want her to, doesn't mean she's got issues. It doesn't mean that there's nothing you can do, nor that she'll never want you again. At the very least, take the time to think things through, perhaps give her a little space, and then give it one last shot - do that one thing your gut's telling you to do. And if it doesn't work out, so what, you wasted a few precious minutes on a phone call, but at least you fought like a man until the end! But if it DOES work out, then believe me, it'll be worth it!
Let me tell you a little story. I met this girl awhile back and at first, things were going great. Her interest level was sky-high, we talked all the time and it looked like i had everything set. Then one day, seemingly for no particular reason, things took a turn for the worse. She stopped returning my calls, and several weeks later, i decided to next her, which i did. But my analytical nature wouldn't let this slide. I kept asking myself how her interest in me could disappear! Is SHE playing games with me? Is HER mind a mess? What's wrong with HER?
Can you see what's wrong with this approach? I was assuming that the problem is on her side. But as i'm about to illustrate, this was not the case. I finally gave in to temptation, sat down and analyzed the hell out of this situation. I digged into my memories and remembered the last conversations we had while her interest level was still high. And guess what, i realized that there was this one thing that i said jokingly, which she may have taken seriously. Nothing major really, but then i applied some of the knowledge i recently gained on these boards about girls of her particular ethnicity and voila!
Over the years, i learned to trust my gut. Too many times i ignored my instincts and blamed myself later, and for the life of me, i can't remember one time when they were wrong. So i did the seemingly non-DJ thing and called a girl that i decided to next. One that my pride was telling me not to call. And guess what, that little thing i mentioned earlier was the cause of all my problems. She simply misunderstood my joke, and now that this misunderstanding was taken care of, her interest level went back up. Of course, there are no guarantees, but things look good so far, and i'm definitely happy that i took the time to analyze the situation and act on my instincts.
The moral of the story is this: just because the girl isn't acting the way you want her to, doesn't mean she's got issues. It doesn't mean that there's nothing you can do, nor that she'll never want you again. At the very least, take the time to think things through, perhaps give her a little space, and then give it one last shot - do that one thing your gut's telling you to do. And if it doesn't work out, so what, you wasted a few precious minutes on a phone call, but at least you fought like a man until the end! But if it DOES work out, then believe me, it'll be worth it!