The kiss is a very important step in a relationship. If there’s any definitive, dividing line between a guy and a girl being “just friends”, or something more, it’s the kiss. Because up until you kiss a girl, there’s sort of an air of ambiguity, a curiosity about where things are going and what everything means. Things that were said and done up to that point are pretty much up for interpretation. But when you kiss each other, there’s no confusion anymore. There’s no more, “Oh, well maybe she was just being friendly.” You both know that you’re not going to be just friends, and that this is most likely going to be a sexual relationship. So it’s very important that you work on your kissing skills.
A lot of guys ask, “Well when should I make a move?” My general rule is this: If you’re thinking about whether you should kiss her, you should. There’s a reason you get those thoughts in your head. It’s because on some level, you know the opportunity is there. Most guys don’t even try and they just make up some excuse not to, when really they’re just scared to make a move. So don’t wait until the end of the date when you’re saying goodnight on her doorstep. If you can kiss her halfway through the date, do so. If you can kiss her the night you meet her, go for it. There are no perfect moments; you have to make it happen. And even if she doesn’t kiss you the first time, it’s not a bad thing. By even attempting to kiss her, you’re showing her that you’re not ashamed of your sexuality, you’re not afraid to express it and you’re not afraid of rejection. Many guys think they’ll offend a girl or put unfair pressure on her by trying to kiss her, but it’s quite the opposite. Girls get so frustrated because they KNOW when you’re thinking about kissing them. Most of the time, they’re just sitting around waiting for you to make a move. They want a man who isn’t afraid to take control of a situation. Even if they’re not comfortable kissing you yet, your confidence will only make them more attracted to you, which in turn makes it easier for her to feel comfortable enough with you to escalate physically.
How you handle a rejection is just as important here though. If you do go for a kiss and she turns you down, just take it in stride. Don’t sulk and don’t feel bad. Just acknowledge it and immediately go back to the conversation. Don’t give yourself or her any time to dwell on it, or it will become awkward. Just act like it was no big deal. You went for it and she didn’t want it, oh well. You can try again later. If it’s clear she’s not ready yet but you make a big a deal out of it, that’s when you start to put pressure on her. I’ve actually gone for a kiss with a girl, been rejected and just smiled, shrugged it off and said, “That’s alright. I’m just gonna try again in ten minutes” (about twenty minutes later we were making out on her bed). By not overreacting and handling it smoothly, you’re showing her that you’re not desperate. And what does that do? Anyone? Right, it just makes you more attractive. It also helps her to be more comfortable around you because you’re communicating that you’re not going to force anything on her if she doesn’t want it. Making her comfortable with you is just as important as making her attracted to you. Besides, her not kissing you doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t want to kiss you. For example, maybe you tried to kiss her in the middle of a crowded party. She could want to kiss you, but just not in front of everybody. You just have to be aware of these kinds of things.
A lot of guys ask, “Well when should I make a move?” My general rule is this: If you’re thinking about whether you should kiss her, you should. There’s a reason you get those thoughts in your head. It’s because on some level, you know the opportunity is there. Most guys don’t even try and they just make up some excuse not to, when really they’re just scared to make a move. So don’t wait until the end of the date when you’re saying goodnight on her doorstep. If you can kiss her halfway through the date, do so. If you can kiss her the night you meet her, go for it. There are no perfect moments; you have to make it happen. And even if she doesn’t kiss you the first time, it’s not a bad thing. By even attempting to kiss her, you’re showing her that you’re not ashamed of your sexuality, you’re not afraid to express it and you’re not afraid of rejection. Many guys think they’ll offend a girl or put unfair pressure on her by trying to kiss her, but it’s quite the opposite. Girls get so frustrated because they KNOW when you’re thinking about kissing them. Most of the time, they’re just sitting around waiting for you to make a move. They want a man who isn’t afraid to take control of a situation. Even if they’re not comfortable kissing you yet, your confidence will only make them more attracted to you, which in turn makes it easier for her to feel comfortable enough with you to escalate physically.
How you handle a rejection is just as important here though. If you do go for a kiss and she turns you down, just take it in stride. Don’t sulk and don’t feel bad. Just acknowledge it and immediately go back to the conversation. Don’t give yourself or her any time to dwell on it, or it will become awkward. Just act like it was no big deal. You went for it and she didn’t want it, oh well. You can try again later. If it’s clear she’s not ready yet but you make a big a deal out of it, that’s when you start to put pressure on her. I’ve actually gone for a kiss with a girl, been rejected and just smiled, shrugged it off and said, “That’s alright. I’m just gonna try again in ten minutes” (about twenty minutes later we were making out on her bed). By not overreacting and handling it smoothly, you’re showing her that you’re not desperate. And what does that do? Anyone? Right, it just makes you more attractive. It also helps her to be more comfortable around you because you’re communicating that you’re not going to force anything on her if she doesn’t want it. Making her comfortable with you is just as important as making her attracted to you. Besides, her not kissing you doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t want to kiss you. For example, maybe you tried to kiss her in the middle of a crowded party. She could want to kiss you, but just not in front of everybody. You just have to be aware of these kinds of things.