quick OLD question

[ubercat]

Its 40 degrees C in Melbourne today so while hiding in the AC I was messaging this Japanese net chick. so following my usual rule on the third message I gave her my phone number and told her to drop me a text so we could meet up.

she came back I'm on holiday in another city blah blah blah but lets stay in touch and no phone number.

so I replied with a couple of cool things to do in that city and then said....and 1 last question ...what's your phone number?

And got radio silence.

now of course I have that rule to eliminate time wasters which was a good idea back in the day. but you need to move with the times and now a days so few chicks actually message you back you spend more time spamming.

so the question is when you ask for the phone number and get some form of resistance do you:

1. just take it as immediate low interest and move on
2. Back off and play her game i.e. keep the covo going eg say Asian chicks like things a bit more AFC so make it a 5 msg cut
3. Do what I did and ask twice just to really be sure that they are a tire kicker

reason I'm asking is I had this three times with Net girls lately. and as the old saying goes 3 times is enemy action.

given my age online dating works as well as anything else and it's bloody 40 degrees out there so if we could keep the discussion off the uselessness of o l d and on the specific questions that would be awesome.

 

[ubercat]

Of course the no response is 95% likely due to it being NYE but its happened enough that the question still stands.

 

[Young OG]

If they don't give out the number the first time you ask then move on. If you were Brad Pitt would she give out her number? You know the answer.

I get a lot of replies on OLD but not many end up getting the number. I usually invite them to have drinks with me by the 3rd or 4th message. 95% of the time they agree. Then I ask for the number so we can set something up. That is when they usually go ghost. When that happens, I move onto the next. There is a lot of time wasters and attention *****s on OLD.

 

[Lozboss]

If she hasn't given you her number by now then me be on. Even if she does just ignore her.

She had her chance. Time to move onto some women with High IL

 

[Reykhel]

Its 40 degrees C in Melbourne today so while hiding in the AC I was messaging this Japanese net chick. so following my usual rule on the third message I gave her my phone number and told her to drop me a text so we could meet up.

she came back I'm on holiday in another city blah blah blah but lets stay in touch and no phone number.

so I replied with a couple of cool things to do in that city and then said....and 1 last question ...what's your phone number?

And got radio silence.

now of course I have that rule to eliminate time wasters which was a good idea back in the day. but you need to move with the times and now a days so few chicks actually message you back you spend more time spamming.

so the question is when you ask for the phone number and get some form of resistance do you:

1. just take it as immediate low interest and move on
2. Back off and play her game i.e. keep the covo going eg say Asian chicks like things a bit more AFC so make it a 5 msg cut
3. Do what I did and ask twice just to really be sure that they are a tire kicker

reason I'm asking is I had this three times with Net girls lately. and as the old saying goes 3 times is enemy action.

given my age online dating works as well as anything else and it's bloody 40 degrees out there so if we could keep the discussion off the uselessness of o l d and on the specific questions that would be awesome.

I never understand the man giving the phone number before he has hers...

1. You're giving up CONTROL

2. It's a fvcking BURDEN waiting for her to phone/text back

3. How can you gauge the bytch's interest level

You cannot really judge the bytch's interest level until you get her off that computer and see her in REAL. All you can do on OLD is :

1. Weed out the time wasters

2. Get her into REAL

Set a specific meet-up....."I'm going to see a Powderfinger cover band on Thursday night at 8, in the Dew Dropp Inn. Come." Anything other than YES or a counteroffer....and she can fvck off. She wants a virtual friend.

http://www.meetup.com/Melbourne-Singles-30s-50s-Meetup/

http://www.meetup.com/Single-Melbourne/

http://www.meetup.com/thesalsafoundation/

¿qué tal tu español tío?
http://www.meetup.com/spanish-148/

You like Japanese chicks? pick up a copy of Pimsleur Japanese and get yourself to a social and language exchange meetup
http://www.meetup.com/Melbourne-Japanese-Social/

http://www.meetup.com/i-heart-food-Melbourne/

 

[ubercat]

Thanks guys, as expected option 1 wins.


@Reykhel I had asked her out on a specific date (of course framed as getting to know each other more). Thst s when I got the out of town blah blah. My question was am I being too inflexible with my "date on 3rd msg" rule. The scene changes and we adapt.


Good point about giving my # first - I ll try it yr way.

And thanks for the meet up list. I ve been to most of them but the food one was new.

I m already learning Chinese and Spanish. If I add Japanese my head might explode.

I do have a life even though it was 40 C yesterday I painted the worst bits of 2 rooms and shopped for lunch I m putting on for some of my Chinese friends today.

OLD is way down on my priorities. But when I do it I want to do it right.

 

[FCB]

I've had success just setting up the date and not really pushing for their number. Most of the time when I initiate details they will message me their number, sometimes I don't use it at all before the date other times I do if necessary. I think it keeps them on their toes and you are removing the fear that you could turn stalker and won't be texting back and forth. I've gone on a few dates without even getting their number and just communicating through the site, the key is to have no reason for them to think you aren't asking because you are timid, but because you aren't 100% sure on them and want the option of walking away clean if you aren't interested. If I go on the date without the number I don't ask for it on the date, and its worked well, I think it gives off a strong sense of indifference and gives the impression that you have a lot of girls chasing you so you need to be selective, if you give the impression you are just scared it'll backfire but not asking for it while pulling off confident/smooth gives you the upper hand and puts them in chase mode. You'll never come off desperate that the date will cancel, you will come off indifferent, with options, laid back and keep them really on their toes why you haven't asked them for their number or if you'll want to ask them out again. Probably best to not wait too long to message asking for the number afterwards if the date clearly goes well, make sure you get across through your actions on the date that you are interested, escalate, ask about them like you normally would but I've found it really gives an upper hand and the girls will amplify IOI's trying to get the point across that they want another date/you to ask for their number.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don't meet up with a chick without her number first. Not wasting gas on that ****.

 

[FCB]

I don't meet up with a chick without her number first. Not wasting gas on that ****.

This gives insight why meeting without the number is a good idea, you need assurance that they will be there and its almost implied that if they don't show up the guy would blow up their phone (needy, insecure). Showing up without their number shows you don't give a **** if they don't show up or not, you don't need them and you won't chase or ask for another date, and you can't text them or be lame (which girls are for sure used to). I've never had a girl flake on me when meeting without their number, they almost always offer it anyways before the date and that still keeps you in a position of power because they are trying to get you attached to them, I don't think I've ever not gotten a second date with any of these girls either, I've def nexted a bunch. How I came to try this and realize it works is basically looking back at all the girls who were showing large IOI's and many times it was because I was indifferent on the date, relaxed and in control because I didn't view them as super high value, and unconsciously getting that across to them puts you in a position of power and puts them in chase mode, all good things. Think about it, if you are the pimp of all pimps you need to manage your time and dates and be able to cut the girls who might stalk you, not asking for the number if you can come across as smooth and as a guy with options will convey everything you want to a girl and keep them guessing more then anything else.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I never ask for the number. I tell them to text me and leave mine. If it's day game, one of us usually has the phone out at some point, and the number gets exchanged that way.

Facebook is a neat trick too if you're in a group. Her adding you on facebook is less "slutty" in front of people, then you set up the date over fb messenger.