Questions for experienced LTR DJs

[Ronin I]

I've been seeing this girl for about six weeks now (a total of 5 dates) and I'm really starting to like her.

She has demonstrated herself as LTR material in just about every way I can think of.

Unfortunately we haven't done anything more than kiss. Last night was the first night I hung out with her and her friends.
I had planned on upping the ante last night and pushing the envelope more physically but by the time we were finally alone it was extremely late and I was exhausted. So I decided to just leave and save it for the next date. As I was leaving she went to give me a hug (red flag?) but I immediately turned it into a kiss and we kissed for a few minutes before I decided to leave.

I will readily admit that I have had limited experience when it comes to women so I often feel as if I'm kinda at a loss.

So for you DJs that are in successeful LTRs - I have a question -

How long was it (time and dates) before you first had sex with your girls? I know it all depends on the girl but what I'm really trying to get at is whether or not you think it's better to seduce a girl into bed as soon as possible or if you think "slow and steady wins the race".

My last girl and I were in bed the first night and she turned out to be a total attention wh*re psycho slut.

This new girl on the other hand is the epitome of a good girl. She's 26, a school teacher, has only been in one serious relationship the past five years. She goes to church every week (?) owns her own house and generally has her act together. She is also just a very happy and fun person to be around. When we were saying goodnight after our date last Thur. (making out in the car) she admitted to me that she was "shy". I guess kind of trying to let me know why she's so inhibited when it comes to physical stuff. My response was "It's ok, there's no rush".

But we're already well past the 3rd date (commonly referred to as the lay date) and I haven't even gotten to 2nd base!!! (I feel like I'm in High School again).

Whenever we start going at it she'll usually pull back and smile at me. She never seems to just kind of let go and let things progress. It's kind of frustrating me at this point although so far I've been really good at keeping my cool.

Any advice on how to make her more comfortable getting physical with me?

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Dude! Is she a Virgo or what man?

Anyway, my last relationship I fully intended to make an LTR, so even while I made out with her the first day, I held off the sex until two weeks later when I could make it a magical occasion. After that she was hooked. Sex and sexual relations are the most fun when they progress naturally...and there is no fault to an LTR letting it happen that way.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Good question Ronin....

From my honest opinion.... it's still a bit dangerous to date nowadays. With STDs coming out everyday, one can never be too sure. That's why I think LTR's are the way to go these days.

Now as far as I'm concerned, sex, it depends on you both. One rule of thumb I have alwyas gone by in the past was, if you both are hitting it off really well, and it takes longer than two weeks, chances are, you are wasting your time. I have found that, for me, the women that take longer than two weeks to get in the sack, tend to be a little insecure, not very exciting in the bed, or have stronger issues, not yet known. If she talks a lot of game, and after two weeks, nothing, drop her into the LTBF column, and move on.

When I met my present g/f... I was still married... separated, and in the process of divorce, but still married.... I told her 'Hey, I like you a lot, and I would give anything to jump your bones right now, but lets just wait a few more weeks before we make love. I want to be officially divorced first. Until then, we can just work up to it with foreplay, cuz I'm all about long foreplays anyways.' she agreed, and in fact, stated that she liked me more for me to be able to say that. We're both catholic. Anyway, we went three weeks dabbing into some serious foreplay. With one week to go before it was official, we both couldn't control ourselves one night, and just went for it for what it was worth. 3 years later, we still doing it like freaks.

We went camping last weekend, nothing like the 'ole in and out' by the campfire. What a way to kick in the summer.

 

[Ronin I]

Thanks ILHM.

A few points...

From my honest opinion.... it's still a bit dangerous to date nowadays. With STDs coming out everyday, one can never be too sure. That's why I think LTR's are the way to go these days.

I agree - especially if you think you've found a stable, loyal girl.

One rule of thumb I have alwyas gone by in the past was, if you both are hitting it off really well, and it takes longer than two weeks, chances are, you are wasting your time. I have found that, for me, the women that take longer than two weeks to get in the sack, tend to be a little insecure, not very exciting in the bed, or have stronger issues, not yet known. If she talks a lot of game, and after two weeks, nothing, drop her into the LTBF column, and move on.

OK a couple things. I realized that it has only been about a month since we met - we hung out three times in the first two weeks. Then I received my first "test" when she cancelled a get-together. After that I didn't see her for two weeks. Then this past week we went out on Thur. and Sat. night. So it's been about a month. I guess part of my frustration is stemming from the fact that I thought Sat. night was the night and it didn't happen. Although it's my own fault because I didn't force the issue at all.
Also this girl doesn't talk a good game at all - just the opposite - she has told me that she has lived a pretty "sheltered" life and that she is "shy."

When I met my present g/f... I was still married... separated, and in the process of divorce, but still married.... I told her 'Hey, I like you a lot, and I would give anything to jump your bones right now, but lets just wait a few more weeks before we make love. I want to be officially divorced first. Until then, we can just work up to it with foreplay, cuz I'm all about long foreplays anyways.' she agreed, and in fact, stated that she liked me more for me to be able to say that. We're both catholic. Anyway, we went three weeks dabbing into some serious foreplay. With one week to go before it was official, we both couldn't control ourselves one night, and just went for it for what it was worth. 3 years later, we still doing it like freaks.

This was kind of what I was hoping to hear from somebody. You held off for a bit and fast forward 3 years later - life is good. I'm hoping your let's hold off comment is akin to my "there's no rush" comment.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by Ronin I
Thanks ILHM.

A few points...

From my honest opinion.... it's still a bit dangerous to date nowadays. With STDs coming out everyday, one can never be too sure. That's why I think LTR's are the way to go these days.

I agree - especially if you think you've found a stable, loyal girl.

One rule of thumb I have alwyas gone by in the past was, if you both are hitting it off really well, and it takes longer than two weeks, chances are, you are wasting your time. I have found that, for me, the women that take longer than two weeks to get in the sack, tend to be a little insecure, not very exciting in the bed, or have stronger issues, not yet known. If she talks a lot of game, and after two weeks, nothing, drop her into the LTBF column, and move on.

OK a couple things. I realized that it has only been about a month since we met - we hung out three times in the first two weeks. Then I received my first "test" when she cancelled a get-together. After that I didn't see her for two weeks. Then this past week we went out on Thur. and Sat. night. So it's been about a month. I guess part of my frustration is stemming from the fact that I thought Sat. night was the night and it didn't happen. Although it's my own fault because I didn't force the issue at all.
Also this girl doesn't talk a good game at all - just the opposite - she has told me that she has lived a pretty "sheltered" life and that she is "shy."

When I met my present g/f... I was still married... separated, and in the process of divorce, but still married.... I told her 'Hey, I like you a lot, and I would give anything to jump your bones right now, but lets just wait a few more weeks before we make love. I want to be officially divorced first. Until then, we can just work up to it with foreplay, cuz I'm all about long foreplays anyways.' she agreed, and in fact, stated that she liked me more for me to be able to say that. We're both catholic. Anyway, we went three weeks dabbing into some serious foreplay. With one week to go before it was official, we both couldn't control ourselves one night, and just went for it for what it was worth. 3 years later, we still doing it like freaks.

This was kind of what I was hoping to hear from somebody. You held off for a bit and fast forward 3 years later - life is good. I'm hoping your let's hold off comment is akin to my "there's no rush" comment.

So far so good Ronin... You know? I mean, you really are on the right track as far as going LTR. Take your time, if you like her, and she likes you, it will happen. There are ways to speed up to the 'love making' part of the relationship, then again, if you want to just roll with it until you both can't take it anymore and get freaky, that's way cool too.

 

[Quick]

There's no hard and fast rule about how soon you have to sleep together to be successful. As long as the reason she's doing it is because she's inexperienced and not to have control over you, there's no problem. Taking it slow can sometimes get great results. There was one girl that would have slept with me after a week. I waited a month, and our 2 yr relationship beat her previous record of a couple of months. For the first time, she got to know and care about a guy before banging him, and she was hooked on me.