Question about this broad, see?

[gravityeyelids]

So i met cassie sophomore year (like 4 years ago). We started hanging out. This girl is super attractive. Kind of has a dull personalty but we got along well. We hung out a few times. I was still a novice at that time, but was an rAFC so i was a work in progress. I could be smooth but was inconsistant. So Anyway.

We hung out a few times. She was digging me. At one point she even starts asking the "where are we going" thing... this was after like a few weeks. So naturally i was like "going? i've only known you for a few weeks. dont you think we should get to know each other better before we start discussing a relationship?

After hanging out we ended up having sex (if you could call it that). I say that because i was nervous and ended up finishing basically after just a stroke or two like a total chode. The next day she starts asking how many people i'd slept with. I tried to brush it off, but she was persistent. Like a chode, i told her just one before her. If my memory serves me correct, we hung out a bit after that, but i started to get needy because i was infatuated with her and basically blew it for myself because i acted like a chode. So we went our separate ways.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Since the beginning of the semester, I saw her at the bar a few times. I've changed a ton since then. Bulked up, i dress better now, im more confident and smooth, etc. etc. So she's giving me IOI's all over the place. For the most part i give her a polite hello and then go my way, focusing on other girls. We chat every now and then at the bar throughout the semester. This girl is still interested in me.

One night i see her i ask if she still has my number, she says no. So i give it to her. See her another time, and shes super drunk. We get to talking. She slurs: "you know you should text me sometime". I tell her she has my # but i dont have hers. She immediately texts me so i have it.

I ignore her and dont text her. Last week was my Bday and im at the bar and see her but dont make eye contact, she sees me but doesnt know i saw her. She's within eyesight of me but i just keep having fun with my friends and not worrying about her. We finally make eye contact and i keep walking but she IMMEDIATELY comes over to talk to me. She's super interested, touching my lower back, responding to every comment i make with enthusiasm. I'm still playing it cool because honestly, i was over her and she's hot, but whatever. The best way was to slow play it anyway and make her come to me. Which i did.

So the night winds down and we're talking and i go "hey give me a birthday kiss". So she meets me halfway for a brief kiss (no makeout, which is fine, we're in the middle of a bar).

I've been texting her, she's very responsive, responding within like 5 to 10 mins even though i sometimes take hours to text her back.

So tonight i call her up and ask if she's going to so-and-so bar. She says maybe, blah blah. It's the same bar. She comments "but dont try to kiss me again'. (In my mind, im like...."b!tch, you were being handsy with me all night, you've been giving me eyes all over the place, and you were perfectly fine with the kiss"). So close to nexting this girl, but we get along, and i wanna give her a fair shot. I'm a completely different person than i was 5 years ago.

Best way to play this?? I'm thinking keep slow playing it. Dont be super aggressive or needy. Invite her out but make sure there's other girls im talking to and dont hang off her the whole night (or at all). Dont push for the ONS or try to smooch her at the bar or bring her home or anything. Hit her up later to grab coffee or play pool or something, and then maybe after that try to invite her over for a movie and go for the bang. Thoughts, fellow DJs?

 

[BraddH]

Shvt test. Just: "I'm spontaneous, I kiss every attractive girls who ends up in my way." Is good.

Definetly don't get angry.

 

[Greensticker]

No ^ Not the impression you want to give her. Your plan is good it all depends on how you follow through. If she was interested before and was ready to have sex with you within weeks the first time I'd say that's your timeline (maybe a bit shorter). Slowly ramp up interest in her, starting off slow.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Yea i didnt get angry or anything. i just said back "pshh you're the one who tried to kiss me" or some sh!t because i couldnt think of anything clever, even though it was very clearly me who kissed her.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Honestly this is a personal conquest for me. I fvcked up when having sex with her before and she destroyed my self esteem and gave me performance anxiety in bed for years after, to the point where i had to use ED meds. In my initial post i think i messed up the timeline a bit. I think the last time we hung out years ago was when we had sex and she basically went ghost on me after finding out i had only been with one girl before her.... which messed me up in terms of my confidence in bed. So i need to fvck this girl the right way as a personal triumph for myself.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Once you make AFC mistakes on a woman, they'll always remember that no matter how much time passes.

Even though you've changed a lot over the past five years, she still sees you as the person you were. She likes the attention/ego boost you give her, and that's why she's trying to string you on currently.

Leave her alone, and keep the past where it belongs. The best thing you can do is if you see her at that bar or in public, ignore her completely, and if you see a nice girl talk to her. This will put a bullet through her ego, and show that you've moved on.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Once you make AFC mistakes on a woman, they'll always remember that no matter how much time passes.

i disagree. There have been numerous cases where i've come back years later a completely different person from who i was in high school and got girls i never wouldve thought i could get. If you change enough you are quite literally a completely different person, both inside and out.

 

[gravityeyelids]

From what you say about your interactions with her "don't try to kiss me again" = the exact opposite. SOunds to me more like she was setting you up to flirt with her some more or she's rationalizing her attraction for you in which case it means do the exact opposite. Good sign to me either way

And honestly, just because you changed doesn't mean shatner when it comes to exs and old flames. When a girl has a low sexual perception of you, it is incredibly hard to change that to the point of near impossibility.

Imo you've been playing it fine but maybe dragging it out. I know some guys here have righteous consciences and all that but I woulda taken the night she got shwasted and hitting on you as a clear sign that she wants the D and went all the way

Oh i know. logistics made it impossible to close that night. Sexually, im going to just assume that she's realized that i've been with a bunch of girls since then. Way back when, i was still excellent at making out and foreplay and turning her on and everything. Everything except the sex was good. I had her flat out saying "stop teasing me....fvck me...." a couple of times. And she's an extremely shy girl. But i was too chickensh!t to do anything about it at first. And when i did i got way too excited and blew it (literally,, haha).

Might as well give her a shot and try to get a lay out of it. Not gonna bank on her or even waste too much energy on trying for her tonight. i'll just focus on other girls, and if she's giving me signs i'll calmly but confidently escalate.

 

[Dgwizdal]

i disagree. There have been numerous cases where i've come back years later a completely different person from who i was in high school and got girls i never wouldve thought i could get. If you change enough you are quite literally a completely different person, both inside and out.

Second this.