Pulling chairs and opening car doors for women, should you always do it?

[Suspens]

So far I have had 2 bad experiences. One girl told me to "stop being so hard on yourself" while I was opening the car door for her.

And the other asked me why I stopped opening doors for her, as I did it during our first date but gave up doing that on the next dates, since I felt we got more comfortable with each other.

 

[jurry]

It isnt that simple.

The question isnt do I do this or that thing and does it look beta/AFC, it is how am I conducting myself with her what kind of attitude am I displaying, and am I being don juan, relaxed, and not worried about the outcome.

Then the question of holding the door becomes irrelevant, you may hold it you may not.

 

[SeymourCake]

It depends. Are you opening doors and pulling chairs for her approval or are you doing it because you simply don't care and it's what you do?

 

[Willard]

I always open the car door for the girl, unless I'm waiting for her outside her place. Pulling chairs I don't do very often. If a girl said "stop being so hard on yourself" I would say suit yourself and stop doing it.

 

[Masculinity]

My very first thought, as others have also commented, is "it depends." If she senses that you are a wuss, it will be perceived as highly AFC behavior. However, if she perceives you as high value, it will be perceived as a plus that you have in addition to your other qualities.

Tell us a little more about yourself and what happened in the dates. That information could probably shed some light on why these women are making these comments.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Don't think about it. Stuff like this needs to match your personal behavior at that moment and how you feel. It needs to be second nature. Don't force yourself to do or not do anything. If you're driving her home, don't think about whether you should open the door for her or not, just act completely natural.

 

[RangerMIke]

I alway open doors and pull chairs for women. I also give up my seat on the street cars to ladies. This is what gentlemen do. If you are with a women that has a problem with this then dump her. She has a bad attitude and if she is not going to let you play the male gender role, then you ultimately are not going to be happy.

 

[Zarky]

Might just be me, but I try to only do stuff that increases my chances of getting laid. So I'd analyze the situation and try to determine if it would or not. seems to me that to say "Always do X" or "Never do X" is a mental shortcut that will not help you in the long run.

There is no "should," there's only what you want and how best to get it.

 

[El Payaso]

Regardless of gender, I open doors for women and men. If you only do it for women especially to get their approval then it will come across as beta and try-hard.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Well I generally do it but with a "THe **** I put up with..." look on my face