Pulled this off daily mail.co.uk

AgonyUncle

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They may have promised to have and to hold for richer and for poorer.

But wives are most interested in the richer part, it was claimed yesterday.


In a study of married men and women, the majority of wives - 59 per cent - said they would divorce immediately if their future economic security was assured.

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Unhappy: Millions of Brits won't leave their miserable marriage because they fear financial and emotional hardship (picture posed by models)


The survey also found than half of husbands thought their marriage was "loveless".


And among both sexes, more than one in ten wished they had wed someone else.

Responding to the astonishing results, relationship experts warned couples to avoid getting stuck in a rut - or risk the trauma of divorce.

The survey of 2,000 adults by a firm of solicitors revealed that 12 per cent would stay in an unhappy relationship just for an easy life.


Almost 30 per cent said they were staying in a doomed marriage to save themselves going through a massive upheaval.

Thirty-seven per cent said they were staying for the sake of the children.


Some said they were worried about what they would lose if they left their partner, with 42 per cent fearing they would have to give up their home if they split.


Almost a third of those polled were concerned they would be left with absolutely nothing if they walked out on their marriage.

And 30 per cent of men said they were scared that they would have to leave without their children.


Nearly half of those questioned, both men and women, would stay with their partner for the sake of the family unit.


The survey was commissioned by solicitors Seddons after a rush of divorce applications in the first week of the new year.


Overall, 12 per cent said they were in a loveless relationship and more than a third (35 per cent) believed their marriage would turn stale in the near future.


A shocking 56 per cent admitted they were not completely happy in their relationship - and more than half said they had considered splitting from their partner.


A spokesman for the marriage counselling service-Relate said: "It's so easy for married couples to get stuck in a rut once the realities of paying the bills and getting the children's breakfast sets in.

"Relationships inevitably change over time. Couples who address their problems and talk to each other when they feel they may be taken for granted stand a better chance of pulling through.


"Divorce impacts on every single area of a person's life. Dividing up the family home, pets and everything they own is just part of the process."

Half of those surveyed would consider going to see a counsellor in an attempt to get their relationship back on track before heading for the divorce courts.

However, one in five thought it would not be worth the hassle.


A quarter said the thought of high legal fees prevented them from having a divorce and six in ten hadn't heard of mediation for divorce settlements.


Deborah Jeff of Seddons said: "Sixty per cent were not aware of how mediation can be used to improve communication between parties, minimise the impact of divorce and keep legal fees to a minimum."
 

Mr. Me

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The divorce rate is about 50%. The article addresses the remaining 50% of still married couples. So, when we factor their findings into the entire pre-divorce marriage population, the percentages become:

50% divorce.

6% say they're in a loveless marriage.

28% are not completely happy.

That's the main point I get. The rest of the statistics are more about what that unhappy group fear would happen should they divorce, using those reasons as their alleged reasons not to divorce, such as fearing "massive upheaval" or financial devastation or staying for the sake of the children.

That leaves about 16% married couples who don't divorce. Are they happy?

Some must be, but I'll bet some unhappy ones claimed on the survey that they were happy when what they're really feeling is a sense of being resigned. I'll bet there are some where the husband is happy and thinks the wife is, but she's actually not and she's having a secret affair, and vice versa, so they're not admitting anything on a survey.

Some others are probably dysfunctional couples whose dysfunctions actually serve to keep them together (think two needy types drawn to each other for example, or an Abuser/Willing Victim type), they are couples who think they're normal.

The truly happy ones that make it work for them long lasting, I've always thought that to number around 5 to 10% of all unions.
 

Interceptor

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These are broken, lonely people who expected marriage to fix them.


Of course, they enede up in disaster.

You simply cannot afford to not work on improving yourself.
make yourself stronger, tougter, disciplined, patient, compassionate, courageous.

Work on making your emotional strength an incedible thing.
You must be a person who SEEKS growth and fulfillment.And has the inner strength to see things trough to the end.

You must be a person who has enough emotional strength not just to 'walk away' but stay in the fight and deal with it.

YOu must strengthen your Personal Boundary. You must develop yourself, your Identity.
Yiou must have clear distinve VALUES.

You will find yourself repeating the same old mistakes. And being stuck in situations that you cannot handle or will not benefit from if you don't.
 

vorbis

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I wouldn't read too much into a daily mail article tbh.

Some of that phrasing is dodgy as well.

A shocking 56 per cent admitted they were not completely happy in their relationship - and more than half said they had considered splitting from their partner.
Completely happy? I mean come on. I for one am not completely happy with my gf but I'm generally happy with her. You see the word games they're playing in this "survey". Most people aren't completely happy with anything ffs!

I'm not doubting the divorce rates but people are going way overboard if they think 70% + of all marriages are a wreck.
 
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