Project SoSuave?

[Jerry Maguire]

I thought it would be an interesting idea to make myself into a project.

The point of which to see how a young male could reach, or even surpass his potential by advice given to him by those on SoSuave.

I will concisely outline my current situation and the way in which I want to change. The challenge I'm presenting you with is to provide me advice which I will use to reach my goals.

I will summarise the advice given, act on it and report back with my progress.



I'll begin to summarise my present situation:

Nineteen years old
Dropped out of University due to non-attendance
Waiting upon possible readmission
If admission is denied, my backup is a course in college
Currently earning minimum wage working for my father's gravestone company
Not much money, although I have things I can sell; a good SLR camera, Gibson Les Paul, XBox 360 etc.
Unfit, weigh about 150-160lbs borderline skinny/fat
Smoke roughly 15 cigarettes a day, drink twice a week
No hobbies to speak of, although I have recently joined a gym
Average beta male, not good/confident at talking to people unless I know them well enough.


With your help, I would like to:
Get a proper career, one that I can enjoy, with at least an average standard of living
Improve stamina
Lose a little fat and gain muscle
Get a hobby I'm passionate about
Quit smoking
Be the kind of person that enjoys striking up conversations with friends of friends, or even relative strangers.
Be able to hold up my end of a conversation. I hate thinking I'm being perceived as boring.
Not only this, but eventually I'd like to assert myself onto others, i.e. Alpha.
I want to be sure of myself: to have a set of convictions to live by, where I'm not continually questioning myself.

Looks-wise, I'm pretty happy. All I want is some more clothes and some serious tattoo-age. I want a full sleeve, a half sleeve, and maybe a chest-piece.

The main advice I'd like is;
how to decide upon a career and what the benefits of doing so before going to University/College would be,

how to find out what my calling/passion/hobby is,

how to discover my convictions,

a reading list of sorts - good books on; positive body language, how to be good at conversations, willpower to go to the gym and quit smoking, etc

I hope you don't dismiss this thread. I think this is a good opportunity to test how effective SoSuave is and document it, as well as obviously having the ability to change my life for the better and helping a fellow human being rekindle his enthusiasm for life.

I will respond to advice posted here and keep a journal of my progress in DJ Discussion.

Eagerly awaiting your responses,
Thanks

 

[MarkR]

how to quit smoking.

I used to smoke a lot, but I recently successfully quit . I bought nicotine gum at CVS and it really helped me. The manual that came with it promised 8-12 weeks, but I did it in one week and that was relatively easy. Now I do not want to smoke anymore, even if somebody around me is smoking.
Hope this helps.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Dude, you can't sell your Les Paul.

 

[Desdinova]

I actually think this post is a good idea. There will be lots of different opinions and people pointing you in different directions, so you might want to try the options that sound the best. Now, onto your post!

Nineteen years old

You can conquer that problem by turning 20

Dropped out of University due to non-attendance
Waiting upon possible readmission
If admission is denied, my backup is a course in college

I'm a bit biased when it comes to schooling. I think University is a waste of time unless you're studying for something that you REALLY want. If you haven't been attending, it sounds like you're aiming for something you really DON'T want. You may want to take a second look at what you want to do for the rest of your life career-wise.

If you don't have a clue, then now isn't the time for you to go back to school. Instead, work on developing some interests, or at least discovering what your interests are. And don't fvcking sell your Les Paul unless you have no interest in playing it, and don't sell your camera unless you have little interest in taking pictures. Either of these two items could be the key to your choice of career, providing you have a genuine interest in either of them.

Currently earning minimum wage working for my father's gravestone company
Average beta male, not good/confident at talking to people unless I know them well enough.

You can kill two birds with one stone here. Instead of making gravestones, take up a job where you are FORCED to interact with people a lot. This will get you used to communicating with them, it'll help you learn to start conversations with strangers, and you may develope a good social network. You can meet women through a good social network.

Smoke roughly 15 cigarettes a day, drink twice a week

I never thought that putting nicotine into your body through other methods (the patch, gum) would be an effective way to quit. All you're doing is breaking the habit. I'll tell you, the habit is the EASIEST part to break. Well, it was for me. The addiction is a b1tch though.

I tried the gum, herbal cigarettes, cold turkey, cutting down, and none of it worked. After a few people on here mentioned the book "Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking" and how it worked for them, I picked it up. Cost me two packs of cigarettes. Guess what? I'm smoke free now too, and have been for over a year now.

No hobbies to speak of, although I have recently joined a gym

Well, let's start at the basics. List things that interest you or things that you've always wanted to try. Note: Playing video games and watching TV are passtimes, not interests.

 

[Serialized3]

That's one tough dad paying his own boy mimimum wage

 

[penkitten]

Dude, you can't sell your Les Paul.

nobody sells their Les Paul.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

nobody sells their Les Paul.

True in most cases. I still have the one I bought from a pawn shop when I was 15. I payed a bit on it every week for damn near two years. This puppy has found a permanent home now!

 

[penkitten]

True in most cases. I still have the one I bought from a pawn shop when I was 15. I payed a bit on it every week for damn near two years. This puppy has found a permanent home now!

i can just imagine the poor guy that pawned there, too tired and weak from selling blood and plasma to make a better choice on how to score the rent money. at least she's in better hands now !

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

i can just imagine the poor guy that pawned there, too tired and weak from selling blood and plasma to make a better choice on how to score the rent money. at least she's in better hands now !

Well, sucks to be him!

 

[oakraiderz2]

Get off your ass and go get a gym membership. THEN go to the bookstore and check out self help, psychology, philosophy or business books, whatever, something thats interesting to you; buy 2 that interst you and go home and read. Make a list of what it takes to become the person you want to be and of who you are. Go to the gym 4-5 days a week, finish reading you books in 2-3 weeks, then buy some more. Ask your dad for a raise, if you dont get one, get a job where you can meet and talk to people and not get the shaft on money. Go to bristollair.com and read everything. Then, if you have any questions...pm me...do it.

 

[Jerry Maguire]

Nothing too much to update since my original post, except that I got the tattoos on my wrists touched up and the tattoo on my stomach coloured in.
It's looking pretty sweet, maybe I'll post a picture sometime.

Anyway, the first thing I'm going to address in Project SoSuave is my interests (or lack of)
Things that interest me, or have interested me in the past have been;

Drawing
From an early age, I was into drawing. I don't draw anymore because it lost it's fun for some reason. I would definitely consider taking it back up.

Photography
Doesn't interest me anymore, which is why I'm considering selling my camera.

Guitar
Bought my Gibson with my student bursary... foolish I know since I've not really played it in months. I'd definitely love to be a good guitarist, performing on stage and creating music. But I'm not enjoying the work that is necessary to take me there.

Motocross/motorbikes
I'm really into, but expensive and more of a 'once in a while' not a regular hobby.

Muay Thai/Jiu Jitsu
Definitely interests me, plus it may give me some more confidence in standing up for myself.


All of these are things which have interested me in the past, but have never pulled me in, as such. Is there much point in pushing myself to try these things more?

Please keep the responses coming, I'm glad you guys responded so warmly to my idea.