problem with talking ?? :(

[sportf190]

alrihgt guys im 17 and goin to be a senior this year i currently would say my confidence is pretty good about a 6/10 i will go up to girls and talk to them but this is my problem, i end up looking really stupid when i tlak to them, i may stutter or say stupid **** and not be funny and all that **** what are some ways to improve "talking" on the phone and internet or in person with women to get them more attracted to you, i know this is a big part, as far as looks are concerned im probaley a 7.5/10 which is arlight but still i know my game can improve so much with a better personality or the right things to say and that stuff any help is appreciated thanks guys!

 

[Anomalous]

It's not what you say, it's how you say it. It's all about the attitude. RELAX, SLOW DOWN, AND PAUSE WHEN YOU SPEAK. If your having problems with your jokes, just watch some stand up comedy or movies. Anything that's has comedy, and you will see that their attitude or their expression combined with the jokes makes people laugh.

 

[dannowillbookem]

i got *****ed at for saying this, but go to myspace, make one, they're fast and free, then hook up with ur local friends, and that'll lead u to myspaces of hot girls.

if ur just practicing, make it someone in wyoming or far away right? then say like "ur not bad. whats ur sn?" they give and then practice ur talking on aim.

honestly, u'll learn to make conversation out of nothing. just observe something about her myspace..."you ride horses?" and work from there, relating past experiences with horses and asking some basic questions..."do you own one" "what age" "how long have u been doing it" etc



dont get too into talking online, but with girls u'll never meet its good practice for real life.

 

[Inquire]

here's a tip that might help. don't talk a lot. and when u have to answer a question, pause for a while and then answer. also talk slow, not really slow, but slow. yea....

 

[sportf190]

thanks gusy but like another problem is if i dont talk alot then the conversation on aim goes no where... i will start off usually like hey wuts up hows ur day... wut r u doin tonight... that kinda stuff then it will usually end cause i have nothin to say and i dont wanna talk alot so i dont udnerstand how to not talk alot like people keep tellin me i do have a my space it is right here.....


http://www.myspace.com/john19

 

[Zod]

Don’t ask random questions!
This isn’t 20 questions. Don’t ask a girl a question and then proceed by asking her a totally unrelated question when she answers. Keep the questions related to her answer. Base what you say off of her response. DON’T PLAN OUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY NEXT. Go with the flow.

Guy: Do you live around here?
Girl: I actually live about 20 min away in __
Guy: Really? I hear they listen to quite a bit of rap in __ (just an example)
Girl: Yeah they do! I’m not too big on rap though. I prefer acoustic bands like John Mayer or Dave Matthews
Guy: Dave was just up at the Gorge for a concert last week. Did you see the concert?
Girl: I really wanted to go but got stuck working the whole weekend
Guy: etc etc

Instead of

Guy: Do you live around here?
Girl: I actually live about 20 min away in __
Guy: Cool. What kind of music do you listen to?
Girl: My favorite would have to be any acoustic bands
Guy: Did you go to the Dave Matthews Concert?
Girl: No, I got stuck working
Guy: Where do you work?

 

[sportf190]

ooo i see but u see wut happens is if u say oo wut r u doin today theyll be like oo not much then wut do u say when there like nothin hung out cause u cant base it really off anything you know i mean man?

 

[Zod]

Simple Solution, don't ask her that question.

 

[Chrisman]

I think you could make a response. It's a pretty common expression, which could work to your advantage. It's a perfect time to pull up something you prepared that's ****y, and rip on her.

What were you up to today?
Nothing much.
So you're some sort of introvert/loser/anti-social.

This is just off the top of my head. I'm sure you could come up with some sort of response that's funny and rips on her. Than you can use that question as a weapon knowing the response you'll get.

 

[sportf190]

oooo i see wut u guys are saying hmm... good idea but the other guy said dont ask that then what would u say cause u usually start off hey wuts up hun and **** like that u know ??

 

[Zod]

Well, most of the time when you ask someone "whatsup" they've been subconciously trained to say things like, "nothing" or "not much". For the most part, people don't respond properly to questions like that. It's gotten to a point where saying, "whats up" or "hows it going" are more greetings than actual questions.

Example, have you ever called your buddy and say, "whatsup?", a lot of the time, they will respond back by just saying, "whatsup?" to you.

Try using a different question that isn't so cliche, perhaps, "what did you do earlier today" or "Anything cool or interesting happen".

Theres many ways to open a conversation, the above are just 2 examples. If the discussion starts going silent, just go on to a different topic even if its a random change. Even though it's not recommended it's better than just sitting there for like 2 minutes saying nothing.

 

[Chrisman]

The idea is take what they say and be clever and funny.

Things like, "What's up?", "What have you been up to today?" are all just small talk questions thrown out by people.

Most people will just say nothing simple because it's too much effort on their part to tell you, so a nothing response is pretty common.

Girls get approached all the time. So they've heard all the usual small talk. It's like dangling a fish hook in front of her. At first it seems like the same old thing that every other guy has said to her. You have to set yourself apart from the rest of the people. You got to give her something to bite on. Something different.

She says nothing because she's just trying to keep it simple and short.

When someone is doing nothing? I assume that this person is a loser, anti-social and an introvert.
So when she says it you can rip on her. I know it's a pretty standard response that people throw out without really thinking about.

Play on her insecurities.
The more creative, funny and ****y you can be, the more she'll respond to you.

Women are emotional creatures. Get her emotions flowing. She knows you're interested because you're talking to her, but you're also teasing her. It's like you're playing a game with her, and she likes to play along.

Get a piece of paper out and brainstorm.

Take the question right it down. And pick out some common places you'd use it, and how you could respond. When you practice this, it'll help you be creative and you'll eventually be able to do this right in the moment.

When you can just snap off the comments you're set.

Different response.

"What have you been up to today?"
"Well, I went to the mall."

"What did you pick up at walmart/kmart?"


You just need to be creative and funny really. Just try brainstorming and writing it down. It'll help you be better on the spot.

 

[sportf190]

ohh i see alrgiht that will help me out thanks man so just i know i can work on talkin slower and calmer and pausing that my new goal for tongiht also to throw in kino cause i know that matters too thanks guys any other advice is appreciated

 

[blinkwatt]

try to connect with the lady when your talking to her. stay away from the internet dating idea,keep it in person.here are some tips on keeping your cool in a conversation.
1.imagine they are ugly(or you could just carry yourself as better then them)
2.grow a pair
3.DONT GIVE A F***,thats what helped me

people have to learn to not care so much and make oppurtunies for themself

 

[sportf190]

i know man i really am starting not to i mean i will go up to alot more girls then i used to so im gettin better now i need some talking tips and personallity and i think im getting closer to becoming ap layer

 

[Chrisman]

I think people just need to get over the whole idea of being rejected. At first it feels bad, but when you keep talking to different woman, you'll get someone that won't reject you. Than you'll become more fixed on the feeling of succeeding than the rejection. It's tough at first since you probably have low confidence, and the rejections lower you more, but when you succeed, than it feels pretty damn good.

No fear.

 

[sportf190]

yahh man ive improved on that like i dont really care if i get rejected any more like i said its just the talkin aspect that kills me but hopefully ill improve

 

[floydtheater07]

Ya know, I had the sme problem. there is an incredibly easy solution though...

HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU START THE CONVO


Honestly man, don't just say "Hey". Say something like "Hey. what did you think of that test?". If a girl is given something to actually talk about, the conversation will start to develop. If you just ask her how her day was, chances are she'll say it eas good, and then you'll have nothing to say.


Take it from me, it's simple and solves the problem.

 

[08aisaac]

What he says is true. Having something to talk about helps massively.

If you want something to talk about, start experiencing life.

 

[sportf190]

alright so like if im in the club i can start it off by saying like hey wut do u think of this music and stuff liek that ... arlight thanks.... and u also had the problem how much has ur game improved when u fixed it just wondering?