Problem Living with women

[makhi]

Hi Guys, I have been a member for a couple of years now and this site is awesome , it has helped me get through tough break ups, keep it up

Now, I have no problems getting women but I cant keep them. Yes I want to settle down with just one. :yes: The problem is not their IL. THe problem is that things get serious and they move in and its awesome for six months then they change. They become sensitive and try to get me to act in a certain manner and cry when I dont. I am a nice guy but I am no push over so naturally I dont change my ways and they are not happy and in return they make me unhappy. Then we both living together and there is always one person that is unhappy, And it just become a series of emotional blackmail until I decide to call it quits.

I would not have a problem if this happened once or twice but 3 time!!!! I am starting to think that maybe I am doing something wrong. All these women want to settle down with me but when we try we find that we cant share common space and both be happy for long.

 

[InnerHappiness]

Living together is a very slippery slope. It can ruin relationships and your steady supply of sex. Before I venture further, I have to ask you -

What are you benefiting from living together, as opposed to your current arrangement?

In my case, it was saving up money. My ex-ltr and I moved together after 3 months of dating. A few weeks later, I saw some things that I did not like, even though she saw it as normal. What ended up happening was I came home from work and saw her putting away the last of her things into her car. I helped her move her stuff without saying a word. When everything was said and done, she sat in my backyard patio for over 10 minutes, motionless, lifeless. We have only been dating for 3 months. I forgot what I said, but I told her I love you and would like you to stay, but if you do, I want you to do things my way. If not, I hope we can still be friends.

When you begin to live with someone, everything changes. I will tell you that there are more problems than benefits. Unless you are securing that "commitment" or "marriage," stay away from living together. There are ABSOLUTELY no benefits of living together unless you are married or planning to get married. You want her home every night to make sure she doesn't cheat and get some poon? Go ahead. You are putting up the walls so the sheep doesn't wander from the farm. However, you can't change the nature of the sheep.

What are you benefiting from living together, as opposed to your current arrangement?

 

[makhi]

"What are you benefiting from living together, as opposed to your current arrangement?"

She cooks, cleans, does my laundry, Irons for me and lots of sex. The reason she moved in is because she works 15 min from my place so we use my car, I drop her off then go to work then pick her up when I knock off. Seemed like the natural thing to do.

 

[InnerHappiness]

"What are you benefiting from living together, as opposed to your current arrangement?"

She cooks, cleans, does my laundry, Irons for me and lots of sex. The reason she moved in is because she works 15 min from my place so we use my car, I drop her off then go to work then pick her up when I knock off. Seemed like the natural thing to do.

You described all the reasons why couple should live together. Its all out of convenience.

You highlighted chores that you can easily take care of on your own. It does not take much effort to complete those tasks. And the sex was what did you in. It's not because those are benefits, it's your own rationalization. You can do all those chores on your own and you should be able to obtain sex on your own. It's the steady supply of sex that most men fall into. It's the MAIN reason why men commit. Even a lot of members on this board can sacrifice everything they want to be, simply for sex.

It's not the natural ways to do things, it's the most convenient one. The ones that are the most complacent in life, never make a life of their own.

 

[makhi]

Thanks for your replies,I hear you, this time it was convenient for her to move in. And you are right it did phuk a good thing up.

So my question now is How does one know when its time for her to move in? what should be the reasons?

If you have never lived with someone and you want a LTR shouldnt you live with them to find out if it will work or not?

 

[smooth_as_silk]

The unique reason for moving in with someone is to get married and start a family. And this should be YOUR call.
Ironing, cooking, steady sex etc.. all this you can do or get without having to live with someone. If not, you are just lazy and deserve the crap you're having to put up with.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

If you have never lived with someone and you want a LTR shouldnt you live with them to find out if it will work or not?

the problem with this approach is that it is a trap.
you move in together. the girl WILL consider that her home also, and come with her stupid or quite nice rules THAT AREN'T YOURS. she becomes entitled, she will make you do things you do not want, and forbid other things. she may cook, but most women want you to "cook together" which means when she wants to cook you better start peeling those potatoes.
you will see that it is kinda working, and you don't want to end it, but in the meantime your weenie has been cut and replaced with a vagina. if you do not do her way, she will say "you don't take me into consideration"

you want to invite other girls there at least to talk with them, which obviously you can't. you wanna chat with other girls to see your options / not feel like a total loser, you cannot. you want to send her home, to date like you used to when you still had fun together, and you can't. and if you break up, it will cause bigger drama.

women are masters of psychological terror. and even the best of them will not hesitate to use it on you.

do you REALLY need all this?

to successfully live together wit a female you must:
1. become a boneless afc pushover => she will most likely leave you for a "real" man
2. you will find a very submissive girl with FIRM traditional values and clear gender roles (also traditional)

the problem with 2. is that you will most likely never find one in this society.

 

[makhi]

thanks guys

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sharing a bathroom with a woman is miserable; it's the worst part of cohabitation. I have a two-bathroom minimum when living with a woman.

Men also have a need for their own space, a "man cave." It can be a garage, basement, or shed, but it has to be all yours. Women do not have the need to cave like men do.

 

[CHICAGO27]

Just Don't Do It!

I lived with a girlfriend, once. It was not a pleasant experience. Before you move in together you have this idealistic view of what it will be like. Once she moves in though everything changes. The honeymoon phase lasts for a little while than you will notice that little control moves will start to happen. Your home decor will change. She will make comments when you want to watch your favorite show or game. The sex will eventually start to wane and you will find yourself under constant surveillance.

Never move in with a latina woman! I made that mistake and it was a constant control trip.

It's better to keep the residences separate until married.

 

[PlayHer Man]

In modern times.. serious relationships (like weddings) are a woman's domain for the benefit of women.

Men benefit more from spinning plates and having different women for different purposes. Total commitment to ONE person will always serve the woman more. That's why women push for marriage. Modern women are self-centered feminists. What do you expect?

When a modern woman commits to a man she does so with the assumption that he will serve her and accommodate her. She has no such intention, desire or obligation to do the same for him.

Modern society has pedestalized the female so much that women today believe its "all about them". :crazy:

Wake up dude. The game has changed. Most men are stuck following irrelevant traditions that are no longer in their best interest. Recognize when the game has changed and ACT ACCORDINGLY. What worked for your father or grandfather will not work for you.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

In modern times.. serious relationships (like weddings) are a woman's domain for the benefit of women.

Men benefit more from spinning plates and having different women for different purposes. Total commitment to ONE person will always serve the woman more. That's why women push for marriage. Modern women are self-centered feminists. What do you expect?

When a modern woman commits to a man she does so with the assumption that he will serve her and accommodate her. She has no such intention, desire or obligation to do the same for him.

Modern society has pedestalized the female so much that women today believe its "all about them". :crazy:

Wake up dude. The game has changed. Most men are stuck following irrelevant traditions that are no longer in their best interest. Recognize when the game has changed and ACT ACCORDINGLY. What worked for your father or grandfather will not work for you.

this man should write a book. seriously
i don't know how you fare in real life with women, and honestly i don't care. because whatever the case, THIS is how every man should think. maybe not taking everything so seriously, but the principle is gold.

if REAL FEMINISM would be the case, in the sense that women would really want equality (instead of self centered special treatment - and also men, because in many cases with that so called patriarchal system came a lot of responsibilities, like going to wars for women and protecting them), i wouldn't agree with this. but the way it is now, the only hope for men to not turn into spineless slaves is to think like this and live this. OR live in a delusional world where they IMAGINE they are the head in the family, but really they are not.

+1 from me

 

[makhi]

Wish I knew this before I did it...

"women are masters of psychological terror. and even the best of them will not hesitate to use it on you."

Since I posted this thread she threw a tantrum a day or so after and said she is moving out and I had to take her home @ 11pm (but first she went to bed and waited for me to also sleep then woke me up), I Celebrated cause I thought I was going to start afresh and do things differently BUT then next day she comes back and says she aint going nowhere no matter how many time I throw her out. I am now going through hell.

I just read another post where they say when you help someone too much they dont respect you, they disrepect you instead.

"What worked for your father or grandfather will not work for you."
I am learning bro, the hard way

 

[Colossus]

In modern times.. serious relationships (like weddings) are a woman's domain for the benefit of women.

Men benefit more from spinning plates and having different women for different purposes. Total commitment to ONE person will always serve the woman more. That's why women push for marriage. Modern women are self-centered feminists. What do you expect?

When a modern woman commits to a man she does so with the assumption that he will serve her and accommodate her. She has no such intention, desire or obligation to do the same for him.

Modern society has pedestalized the female so much that women today believe its "all about them". :crazy:

Wake up dude. The game has changed. Most men are stuck following irrelevant traditions that are no longer in their best interest. Recognize when the game has changed and ACT ACCORDINGLY. What worked for your father or grandfather will not work for you.

I have to agree with all of this. Men always risk more and have more to lose from legal monogamy (marriage).

It's assumed, if you are an experienced DJ that if you DO commit to one woman, she is necessarily better than all others you have dated, and is generally making your life better. In that case I don't think you are really "losing" anything, other than the freedom to get with other girls, but that is by choice.

I think like PHM said, the vast majority of modern eligible women (18-35) are self-centered quasi-feminists, and seek only their own benefit. I also think marriage tends to change people (men and women), because it goes from free choice (dating), to a contractual agreement where there is no easy way out.