Post DJ Boot Camp (The Ongoing Chronicles of Allan...)
Week 1, Day 1 (Saturday):
I'm spending a weekend with my buddy (it's not fair to call him a wing since we've been friends for a couple of decades now) in a sleepy little town which he claims has a freaky bar scene despite being in the middle of nowhere. He claims for example, that he was there with a girlfriend a year or so ago, and had a chick come up to the bar, proceed to lean over and give him a handful of titty the entire time she was ordering. Who am I to turn down this invitation?
As I drive through this town to meet up with him, I am starting to have second thoughts as it is VERY quiet. When we check in however, our two bed room is extremely clean and spacious with a very high wood ceiling. Nice.
We grab a meal at a country themed restaurant and the portion sizes are beyond ridiculous. The leftovers I take home weighs at least five pounds, no exaggeration.
9 PM:
We arrive at the irish bar, and find it is pretty quiet inside. There's a DJ, and some loud hip hop blasting and a strobe light spinning but no one's dancing. I nurse a screwdriver and my buddy is pounding down some Bailey's. It's amazing but people filter in by the two's and three's and by 11:30 PM, the place is damm near packed. I'd say by the end of the night, about a half dozen or so "8's" have passed through the joint. My dress, is ahem, casual. I've got a pair of blue jeans on and a white t shirt. I'd brought a fairly nice ensemble of black t shirt and off white slacks and a kenneth cole shirt and jeans with some nice black dress shoes. My buddy reassures right before we head for the bar that this place is extremely casual however and that I definitely don't need to change (he's probably just in a rush to get over), so I figure 'eh, he must be right' and proceed in jeans and white t.
The scene at this bar is extremely eclectic to say the least. There's a heavy-set 55 year old lady with thinning hair getting her freak on with a 50-ish guy (husband?) right in the middle of the floor. There's a 25 year old girl wearing a giant full leg knee brace hopping around on the dance floor on crutches. By the time we leave at around 1:30 PM, there are three trannies on the dance floor in lingerie receiving dirty looks from the guys in baseball caps. There are a ton of 5/6's wearing their party best but still looking like 5's and 6's. And, last but not least, there's about a half dozen 8's or so who filter in and dance in the midst of this small town free for all.
11:30 PM:
After 11:30 PM, I see a tall '8' on the dance floor. She's about 5' 9", thin, with a pixie doll white face offset by thick wavy black hair. She's dancing with a girl who's almost as tall, but quite thick in the body who's about a '5'. I head out to the dance floor and get within a foot or so of them and start to dance. The '8' gives me a brieft dirty look and moves away two feet. I move closer, and the '8' moves off in the opposite direction and the '5' follows. Embarrassing. No dice. I observe other guys try later with this '8' and with some of the '7's' out on the dance floor. Invariably, the girls simply ignore and/or move away from the guys who attempt to dance with them. Strange. Then, I see the DJ himself attempt to dance with the '8'. He's a young kid, perhaps 22 or 23. He is absolutely uninhibited. He's wearing gigantic baggy pants, boots and wears his baseball cap to the side. All night long, he pulls his crotch right up to the girl's azzes and starts grinding away. He is completely uninhibited, and un-self-conscious (is that a word?). He tries it with the '8' I tried to dance with earlier. At first, he is not successful, as the '8' moves away (from his crotch) without looking at him. I see the DJ try again a second time, perhaps an hour later. Second time's a charm! The DJ starts spinning a record, jumps off the platform and lands boom! a couple feet from the '8'. He dances crotch first and engages the '8' without her moving away. Bingo. This DJ is successful in engaging a grind about half the time (the other half of the time, the girls simply move away a foot or two) and he attempts at least a half dozen times that night, with girls ranging from '6's' to '8's'.
12 MIDNIGHT:
I try out my verbal game. I see a Latina '6' on my left about 15 feet away. She's got a cute face, and is slightly soft in the mid section (not fat, but not model thin either--I asked my friend for a rating of her later and he gives her about a '6.5'). She's probably in her late 20's.
Me: "it got really crowded in here real quick, didn't it?"
Her: pauses a second. "Yeah...."
I'm slightly buzzed from my screwdriver and half a beer at this point so I can't fully recall the details of the fluff. I recall asking her if she's a local, and where she goes clubbing when she's in LA, blah blah blah. I'm relentless with the kino, putting my arm around her waist, and caressing her side, and rubbing her arm, playing with her hair, speaking into her hair, etc.
Her: ...you're touching me a lot, aren't you? (or something to that effect)
I am caressing her arm on the opposite side of me, but she holds her arm nearest me in between her chest and mine in a defensive posture.
After mentioning how obvious I am with the kino, she then proceeds to rub my chest with her hand, feeling each pec, then rubs and feels for the 'line' separating my pecs. Then she reaches down further and continues to press her hand against my shirt to feel for my stomach muscles. She stops just short of "paradise" and removes her hand at my beltline however.
I become a little disoriented at this point: I don't know how to proceed: she's clearly groping me, but her arm nearest me remains in a defensive posture. Perhaps I should have escalated by trying for a venue change or a kiss close or whatever, but her mixed body language has me confused. I'm just kind of at a loss for words at this point. I continue with some random fluffing. However, I also notice that I am getting very tired. I have had to yell in her ear, stand up (no stool), and try to plan and execute my next move with her on the fly, all at this very late hour of the night, and quite frankly I am getting winded. I fluff with her a bit more but then she excuses herself and her friend to go smoke a cigarette on the patio. They return five minutes later, this time to my side of the bar. At this point, I am thinking, 'damm I'm tired! Is it really worth it to talk to her?!' I don't talk to her again. Too tired. The spanish girl and her friend (a big boned girl who's slightly above average with a frizzy perm and party clothes) exit the bar.
I go report back to my friend:
Friend: 'where d'you go?
Me: I went over to the other side of the bar and talked to a girl.
Friend: 'I was talking to this girl earlier (he points her out to me--a 5.5 in party clothes).'
Me: Go over there, bro.
Friend: All in due time (he's got a smile; he'll never go over there and he probably never talked to her in the first place--he's extremely shy).
Me: Go over there, bro.
Friend (drunk off his azz). I'm drinkin'!
We repeat this a few times. There's no way he's going over there. I talk to a dude right next to my bud. He's about 5' 8" and very thin (no more than 130 lbs. soaking wet). We chat a bit and he tells me a bit about the 'scene' in this town and some nearby towns. He seems to know where all the hotspots are. I ask him if he sees any hot girls he likes. He points one out and I tell him he should approach. He asks me the same and I point out a 5'6" brunette '8'. I tell him to get out there. "You first!" he pushes me towards the '8'. What the hell. I get out there, and the skinny guy. I try the same thing as I tried earlier, getting to within a couple of feet of the '8'. She moves away, just as the first '8' did. I dance with a '5.5' and say hi. She says hi and doesn't go anywhere. The skinny guy says: "yeaaa! I'm out on the daance flooh!" with a british accent. I exit. The '8' wouldn't dance with me and the '5.5' is completely uninteresting to me.
To be continued...
Week 1, Day 1 (Saturday):
I'm spending a weekend with my buddy (it's not fair to call him a wing since we've been friends for a couple of decades now) in a sleepy little town which he claims has a freaky bar scene despite being in the middle of nowhere. He claims for example, that he was there with a girlfriend a year or so ago, and had a chick come up to the bar, proceed to lean over and give him a handful of titty the entire time she was ordering. Who am I to turn down this invitation?
As I drive through this town to meet up with him, I am starting to have second thoughts as it is VERY quiet. When we check in however, our two bed room is extremely clean and spacious with a very high wood ceiling. Nice.
We grab a meal at a country themed restaurant and the portion sizes are beyond ridiculous. The leftovers I take home weighs at least five pounds, no exaggeration.
9 PM:
We arrive at the irish bar, and find it is pretty quiet inside. There's a DJ, and some loud hip hop blasting and a strobe light spinning but no one's dancing. I nurse a screwdriver and my buddy is pounding down some Bailey's. It's amazing but people filter in by the two's and three's and by 11:30 PM, the place is damm near packed. I'd say by the end of the night, about a half dozen or so "8's" have passed through the joint. My dress, is ahem, casual. I've got a pair of blue jeans on and a white t shirt. I'd brought a fairly nice ensemble of black t shirt and off white slacks and a kenneth cole shirt and jeans with some nice black dress shoes. My buddy reassures right before we head for the bar that this place is extremely casual however and that I definitely don't need to change (he's probably just in a rush to get over), so I figure 'eh, he must be right' and proceed in jeans and white t.
The scene at this bar is extremely eclectic to say the least. There's a heavy-set 55 year old lady with thinning hair getting her freak on with a 50-ish guy (husband?) right in the middle of the floor. There's a 25 year old girl wearing a giant full leg knee brace hopping around on the dance floor on crutches. By the time we leave at around 1:30 PM, there are three trannies on the dance floor in lingerie receiving dirty looks from the guys in baseball caps. There are a ton of 5/6's wearing their party best but still looking like 5's and 6's. And, last but not least, there's about a half dozen 8's or so who filter in and dance in the midst of this small town free for all.
11:30 PM:
After 11:30 PM, I see a tall '8' on the dance floor. She's about 5' 9", thin, with a pixie doll white face offset by thick wavy black hair. She's dancing with a girl who's almost as tall, but quite thick in the body who's about a '5'. I head out to the dance floor and get within a foot or so of them and start to dance. The '8' gives me a brieft dirty look and moves away two feet. I move closer, and the '8' moves off in the opposite direction and the '5' follows. Embarrassing. No dice. I observe other guys try later with this '8' and with some of the '7's' out on the dance floor. Invariably, the girls simply ignore and/or move away from the guys who attempt to dance with them. Strange. Then, I see the DJ himself attempt to dance with the '8'. He's a young kid, perhaps 22 or 23. He is absolutely uninhibited. He's wearing gigantic baggy pants, boots and wears his baseball cap to the side. All night long, he pulls his crotch right up to the girl's azzes and starts grinding away. He is completely uninhibited, and un-self-conscious (is that a word?). He tries it with the '8' I tried to dance with earlier. At first, he is not successful, as the '8' moves away (from his crotch) without looking at him. I see the DJ try again a second time, perhaps an hour later. Second time's a charm! The DJ starts spinning a record, jumps off the platform and lands boom! a couple feet from the '8'. He dances crotch first and engages the '8' without her moving away. Bingo. This DJ is successful in engaging a grind about half the time (the other half of the time, the girls simply move away a foot or two) and he attempts at least a half dozen times that night, with girls ranging from '6's' to '8's'.
12 MIDNIGHT:
I try out my verbal game. I see a Latina '6' on my left about 15 feet away. She's got a cute face, and is slightly soft in the mid section (not fat, but not model thin either--I asked my friend for a rating of her later and he gives her about a '6.5'). She's probably in her late 20's.
Me: "it got really crowded in here real quick, didn't it?"
Her: pauses a second. "Yeah...."
I'm slightly buzzed from my screwdriver and half a beer at this point so I can't fully recall the details of the fluff. I recall asking her if she's a local, and where she goes clubbing when she's in LA, blah blah blah. I'm relentless with the kino, putting my arm around her waist, and caressing her side, and rubbing her arm, playing with her hair, speaking into her hair, etc.
Her: ...you're touching me a lot, aren't you? (or something to that effect)
I am caressing her arm on the opposite side of me, but she holds her arm nearest me in between her chest and mine in a defensive posture.
After mentioning how obvious I am with the kino, she then proceeds to rub my chest with her hand, feeling each pec, then rubs and feels for the 'line' separating my pecs. Then she reaches down further and continues to press her hand against my shirt to feel for my stomach muscles. She stops just short of "paradise" and removes her hand at my beltline however.
I become a little disoriented at this point: I don't know how to proceed: she's clearly groping me, but her arm nearest me remains in a defensive posture. Perhaps I should have escalated by trying for a venue change or a kiss close or whatever, but her mixed body language has me confused. I'm just kind of at a loss for words at this point. I continue with some random fluffing. However, I also notice that I am getting very tired. I have had to yell in her ear, stand up (no stool), and try to plan and execute my next move with her on the fly, all at this very late hour of the night, and quite frankly I am getting winded. I fluff with her a bit more but then she excuses herself and her friend to go smoke a cigarette on the patio. They return five minutes later, this time to my side of the bar. At this point, I am thinking, 'damm I'm tired! Is it really worth it to talk to her?!' I don't talk to her again. Too tired. The spanish girl and her friend (a big boned girl who's slightly above average with a frizzy perm and party clothes) exit the bar.
I go report back to my friend:
Friend: 'where d'you go?
Me: I went over to the other side of the bar and talked to a girl.
Friend: 'I was talking to this girl earlier (he points her out to me--a 5.5 in party clothes).'
Me: Go over there, bro.
Friend: All in due time (he's got a smile; he'll never go over there and he probably never talked to her in the first place--he's extremely shy).
Me: Go over there, bro.
Friend (drunk off his azz). I'm drinkin'!
We repeat this a few times. There's no way he's going over there. I talk to a dude right next to my bud. He's about 5' 8" and very thin (no more than 130 lbs. soaking wet). We chat a bit and he tells me a bit about the 'scene' in this town and some nearby towns. He seems to know where all the hotspots are. I ask him if he sees any hot girls he likes. He points one out and I tell him he should approach. He asks me the same and I point out a 5'6" brunette '8'. I tell him to get out there. "You first!" he pushes me towards the '8'. What the hell. I get out there, and the skinny guy. I try the same thing as I tried earlier, getting to within a couple of feet of the '8'. She moves away, just as the first '8' did. I dance with a '5.5' and say hi. She says hi and doesn't go anywhere. The skinny guy says: "yeaaa! I'm out on the daance flooh!" with a british accent. I exit. The '8' wouldn't dance with me and the '5.5' is completely uninteresting to me.
To be continued...
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