post 1st date mess up..is it fixable?

[hdiaz]

So I met this girl on an online dating site. We got to talking, and exchanged numbers. We texted for almost two weeks (I was out of the country) before we finally met up in person for the first date.
So on Friday I picked her up at 7:17pm (I choose odd times on purpose. It's funny and it always makes me stand out). We grabbed a bite and talked. I kept her laughing all through dinner, mainly with my comments Nd jokes. We made a good condition there so I decided too keep the date going.
After dinner I took her to the ferris wheel. She was beyond excited for this as she loves ferris wheels and didn't even know we had one in the city. We had to wait in line for a while so I too advantage of this time to make her laugh while getting to know her. Once we got one we got to talking some more and we joked around a lot and also enjoyed the Atlanta skyline. I made my first move here and we ended up kissing.
After we were done with the ferris wheel I felt a real connection so I just wanted to spend more time with her (she felt the same way). So I took her to piedmont park to enjoy the skyline of the city while we had some deep talk. We even turned into kids again and played in a playground. Then we just hung out by the watching the Ducks and making out (there was a lot of touching and we were both very turned on ). After this I took her home (1 am Saturday morning) and walked her to her door.
I didn't text her when I got home, but waited until the evening (Saturday evening). I texted her teasing her about something that had happened in our date. She took a couple of hours to reply, so I decided to do the same Nd make her wait. After that we continued texting until suddenly she stopped replying. I texted her "good night and sweet dreams" as I thought she fell asleep.
The next morning (Sunday morning) she texted me "sorry, I fell asleep. I was just exhausted" I waited a couple of hours to reply and then we just kept up the convo. Towards the end of this conversation I brought up hanging out again this upcoming Friday. We both enjoy smoking weed occasionally, so I asked if she would want to hang out and smoke. She said that she wasn't sure if she'd be able to this weekend since she has plans. And that she doesn't know me well enough to smoke with me. That's understandable. After that the conversation started to die off so I decided to cut it off under the pretext of going to sleep. I wished her a good first day of class (we are both juniors in college) and and a good night.
For some reason I can't get her out of my head. This is the first time this happens to me. Out of dozens of different girls that I've taken out and hooked up with, this is the only one that has gotten stuck in my head. I don't know what to do since I already screwed up some. So what can I do? Should I just wait or let it go? I know I messed up by showing too much eagerness..This is a first..what to do?

 

[pyros]

First and more important, you SHOULD NOT HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER on a first date. For God's sake.

Second, you should not have texted her the next day.

After these two, the feeling she got was:" this dude is already obsessed with me, uh uh, creepy!"

Anyway, you should stop contacting her so much, and wait a few days and ask her out to do whatever in which you can escalate.

 

[nismo-4]

You have this girl on a marble pedestal.

You need to ease off of her, but you are likely in the friendzone. All that late night convo, she has her girlfriends for that. Don't be one of them next time.

Oh yeah, she "doesn't know you well enough and was unsure" because she has low interest. A woman likely won't tell you when her interest is dropping, but when she brings up these kinds of supposed issues, that's no good. Uninterested women make excuses not to see you. As such, I only give women ONE chance. This ain't Super Mario World where your ass starts off with 5 lives.

Alas, I would just move on. It's likely she did anyway. And would this girl tell Channing Tatum that she didn't know him well enough and is unsure? Hell no.

My neighbor's wrecked Benz is more fixable than this goof you've done.

Case closed.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I texted her "good night and sweet dreams" as I thought she fell asleep.
The next morning (Sunday morning) she texted me "sorry, I fell asleep. I was just exhausted"

this was the end of any possible attraction remaning on her end

the text you sent was the kiss of death come on man

"good night sweet dreams" jeez i wouldnt text that to a wife of 30 years

let alone some stupid hoe from college

made it too easy for her bro :nono:

 

[hdiaz]

I guess I'll just let it go

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think it's potentially salvageable, though the odds are against. You simply need to back way off and perhaps pop her a quick text asking her how she's doing in a week or two.

If she responds favorably, give it a bit more time and tell her you're going to such and such a place and "Why don't you come along?"

If she responds well, you've been given another chance. If not, no worries, there's tons of girls out there.

What you've learned here is this principle: Be scarce. Don't be eager. You should ALWAYS cultivate the appearance that you are judging and evaluating her. I can't stress enough how important this is. You do it through teasing, mysterious comments that can be taken multiple ways, and by displaying a lack of eagerness. She should be proving herself to you at all times.

When you're young it can seem almost impossible to flip the script like this, but with practice and as an abundance mentality takes hold you find the secret. It can't be taught.

 

[hdiaz]

I think I'll just do that. Wait a week or two and just see what's going on at that point. Meanwhile I'll just use my backup ha.
Btw what if she texts or calls, should I just go no contact?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I can't add to much to what's already been said.

Neediness is one of the biggest attraction killers out there. You guys had a good time and made a connection, but that doesn't mean the game is over. I wasn't a big fan of making plans in advance to smoke weed. Not sure about that one, especially if she does it "occasionally", which chicks will sometimes say just to fit in, even though they've only done it once or twice. Also, the "sweet dreams" is something SHE should be saying, not you. Same with "have a first good day at school" or whatever you said made me cringe.

Most of this is DJ 101 stuff.

You need to relax. Don't do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1EyN9xTK94

From this point I'd give her a soft next. Go find some more dates. If she hits you up, act as if nothing's happened. Don't ask her why she hasn't contacted you, don't try to get her to explain her wishy washy behavior. Just go back into it, though this time, play it cool. Don't jump on the first opportunity to see her again. Make her jump through a hoop or two to see you. The hopes would be that she would then quickly forget about your neediness and focus on the great time she had with you and the "connection" you two made....therefore making her WANT to see you again.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I think I'll just do that. Wait a week or two and just see what's going on at that point. Meanwhile I'll just use my backup ha.
Btw what if she texts or calls, should I just go no contact?

if she initiates contact be pleasant but to-the-point , no frills

 

[zinc4]

What's up with all of that s texting??? And why didn't you escalate at the park and try to progress it back to your place? You didn't spend too much time on the date...however you acted like a little girl and the texting was horrible... horrible.... you don't even escalate a kiss and u are texting the next night sweet dreams....sweet dreams really??? This girl probably just wanted to get f%cked but you couldn't do that and got all emotional on her and failed to escalate. Next.

 

[hdiaz]

Well she just texted me, so I'm guessing that I didn't fully ruin it.
"I feel so creepy because I think I liked 3 things on your fb today" that's what she said. I haven't replied.
I would have taken her back to my place because I'm staying at a buddy's since I just got back from backpacking south America

 

[zinc4]

Your reply should be.......don't worry, you are not as bad as my last Facebook stalker...as long as you aren't out behind the bushes behind my house...

Now you will have some frame after she replies be very short to the point set up another date...thus time escalate..