Positive ex is BPD need advice

[Blazing]

To start this off this isn't a "I miss my ex and I want to be with her" thread. We broke up 2 months ago and I am completely happy with my life.

Her on the other hand is either bipolar or extremely depressed we talk from time to time. She texts me the day before thanksgiving that she feels completely alone. That she isnt considering suicide or anything but sometimes she feels like she just wants to die so these negative feelings go away.

I talk to her. Try to cheer her up etc.

Today I text her to make sure shes okay. Get a late reply blowing me off. So Im just like that's disrespctful to do that to someone just making sure you're okay.

She replies shes been busy and that she's sorry she wanted to be with her family and no glued to her phone....

WTF sounds like shes using it for attention. But who the fuk replies like that after literally sounding suicidal the night before to someone just worried about their well being?

How would you reply to this? or do I even give it a response? It pisses me off so much that I'd love to let her know I'm not dealing with her or her problems anymore

 

[SemperDJ]

She's looking for attention, like my ex they want you to feel sorry for them in some
strange manner it gives them a sense of purpose.
If your guts say BPD then stick with BPD and don't get yourself involved anymore

 

[VladPatton]

There are the prime reasons why you should let exes go completely, especially nutjob ones. You have zero benefits from trying to calm her, help her, or comfort her after you dumped her. The first thing she'll do when she has a new man (victim) will be to blow your ass off like there's no tomorrow. Silence is golden.

 

[Blazing]

Thanks guys. I just needed to vent because it's infuriating. I would just let her have it because she deserves it. But I'm not going to be the one who pushes her over the edge. I was just trying to be nice but she's not my problem I've got my own life to worry about. I'm not giving her a reply or the drama she's trying to start.

 

[iamnobody]

Here problems are hers, not yours. Don't let her suck you in. Cut her off completely and live your life.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You directly quoted some of the texts but didn't quote the pivotal, important one, instead opting to say "She blew me off". What does that mean? What did she actually say?

 

[Bible_Belt]

We broke up 2 months ago and I am completely happy with my life...

...It pisses me off so much...

Do you see the incongruence? If you didn't want to at least fvck her again, you'd have nothing to get mad about. Can you seriously say that you would have no desire to do her again? I doubt it. I know what it's like to have ex-gf wild crazy bpd b!tch pvssy just drop into your lap from time to time.

A bpd relationship is like a bad drug habit. You don't recover by continuing to dabble in it.

 

[Blazing]

You directly quoted some of the texts but didn't quote the pivotal, important one, instead opting to say "She blew me off". What does that mean? What did she actually say?

The only reply I got was "I'm fine" like 12 hours later after a novel the night before about how she didn't want to live anymore.er

I'm done trying to help her/ be there for her. Would I fck her? Yea probably lol, but I don't want her in my life. She has WAY to many problems and its not my place to deal with them. I don't want to see anyone commit suicide though so the next time it comes o=up I may just have to contact her family and be like "Hey, I'm her ex it isn't my place to deal with this here you go"

 

[m7ytn]

I have had a lot of experience with people with BPD... my mom has BPD, so after 27 years of dealing with total mind fvckery, I have learned how to deal with them. I dated a girl a few years back that told me she'd been diagnosed with BPD, which I knew before she even told me because she precisely mirrored my mother's actions...once you know how to deal with one of them, you know how to deal with most of them. As unpredictable as they may seem, believe it or not, there is pattern that once you recognize, you will know more about what they are about to do than they themselves know...

She will go through a phase where she idolizes you...you are perfect in all ways, and placed nicely upon a pedestal... this doesn't last long. These people have to have someone in their lives at all times that they demonize. There is always someone who is "the bad guy." Usually a family member, or someone close to them...but it cycles. One month they demonize their parent, the next it may be a sister, then it is a best friend...then all of a sudden it is you.

WATCH OUT... when it is you, one of two things are going to happen:

1. If you maintain a relationship / contact: They will typically issue some sort of ultimatum, and it usually sounds like this..."You have wronged me in some way and either you do "X" or else you will not see me again." ...You always see them again, whether you comply or not. They will resurface, it may be a week, a month, or a year...but they will be back and pretend nothing happened sour between the two of you.

2. If you do not have a relationship / contact: They will go well beyond any reasonable means to attempt to make your life hell, by doing things you would never expect... for example, my mother somehow discovered that my father had cashed a check years ago for $17 that was made out to her. They had been divorced for 10 fvcking years...she called him up after not speaking for 10 years threatening to take him to court... **** like that. If you have dirt they can dig up...better believe they will do what they can to defame your character...to include blatantly lying about absurd sh*t you could never fathom...

So...When the opportunity presents itself...GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE (dodge is her life in this case)
More than likely what will happen with this girl, is she will find some other guy to build her entire world around... But this will only happen when you leave her alone. Don't call her, don't initiate contact...this is going to send her a message that you are there to provide attention. When she contacts you, be to the point with your responses. Don't be a d*ck, but don't encourage her either. Don't play into her game by giving her sympathy...she feeds on this and that is what keeps her coming back.

She isn't going to kill herself...that is a method of seeking attention. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a BPD say they were going to kill themselves, or even clearly fake an attempt...I would put Warren Buffet to shame. Stop giving her the attention she craves, and after a while she will move on to some poor unsuspecting bastard that will ejaculate sympathy and buy into her pity party...when this happens, you pop ninja smoke...break contact, never look back, and count your lucky stars that this b*tch did not destroy your life.

And last but not least, I cannot emphasize this enough...DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER... you do this, and you are opening yourself up for a Category 5 drama storm...guaranteed. There are other girls out there...trust me, you don't want a BPD as a plate...it will get ugly.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Yeah, it happened to me once I was trying to get back with mine.

We texted, set up a date, she flaked me with some lame excuse and I say fine whatevs.

Same night she texts me and say she is sorry and stuff. I don't reply her

Next morning she texted me a print screen of a funny article and "HAHAAHAH"
I've replied with a internal joke, she says:
pff. You are pathetic!
I said What? I thought that was the meaning of it, anyway have a nice day, she says:
k, u2
I get mad, call her and tell her she was disrespectiful and I won't tollerate that sh*t, she says:
I'm sorry, I'm just so wraped up in work, so busy, I'm also in one of those days. In fact I liked your joke, I just wanted to see what would be your reaction.

I mean, What the F*CK!?

Bottomline. Don't play these games. THEY ARE CRAZY!!
She will play you for a fool for as long as she believes it's for her best interest!

Get the f*ck out before she cause more damage to you.
I just wish I knew about BPDs back then... Oh well!