Positive Attitude = Success With Women

[Wilove]

Do you want the secret to success with beautiful women?

The answer to this question is that there is no BIG secret to become really good with women...it's as simple as having a POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

The 3 reasons why Positive Attitude is SO important in this game:

1) It's attractive to women.

2) It helps you deal with all the bull **** that you have to go through to get 'GOOD'.

3) It motivates you to succeed.

When you start off learning 'game' you might spend 90% of your time on material: memorizing techniques, learning lines, reading 'how to' guides, studying social psychology, etc, but after a while these parts of your game become somewhat automatic. Basically any person who can read a book can learn the techniques of 'pick up' game.

At some point in your quest to become 'good with women', you will realize that you could read yourself to death and still not get results. At this point it becomes apparent that elements of your core self such as attitude, confidence, presence, hard work, self-esteem etc will comprise the majority of your results with women.

These elements take a lot more hard work to change. A Positive Attitude will help you tackle the many obstacles you will face, keep your morale up, and motivate you during the process of change.

So the 2 main elements to getting 'good' are POSITIVE ATTITUDE and TAKING ACTION (going out, meeting women, dating, having sex etc.)

You must realize that forming a great attitude takes a long time in itself and is a continual process. Not only will having this mind frame help you take action, but it will lead to actual success, further reinforcing in your mind that you are good with women.

Guys who are willing to change their mindset over time will change who they are at a CORE level, and eventually results will simply fall into their laps!

To start developing a Positive Attitude you need to get into the mindset of others who understand the power of positive thinking. You must constantly expose yourself to this form of thought until it becomes a part of who you are.

Here are a few "classic" books on this subject to start you off with:

Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill

How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

Awaken the Giant Within - Anthony Robbins

A Positive Attitude will give you success in your journey towards being an attractive man, and will also help in the actual act of picking up women:

One thing that you can do right away is start smiling a lot, especially when you are trying to meet women. Always smile when you are out at a bar, club, or even on the street picking up women.
Try a little social experiment: when you go out to a bar next notice which guys appear more attractive to women. You'll notice that these men are not always the guys who are more physically attractive, but the guys who seem to exude confidence and have lots of positive attitude. These are the guys who will be smiling, laughing, having fun and enjoying their surroundings.

Next, adopt this attitude at all times and get out there and SMILE.

A good way to do this is to think of the funniest thing you can think of on the spot, or just joke around with your buddies to get into a laughing mood. Now walk around smiling and smile every time you approach a woman. It's simple and extremely attractive. This will make every aspect of your game easier.

Recently I took a friend out to show the 'ropes' of the pick up game. He already had been going out regularly to meet women, but knew there was something wrong with what he was doing, but couldn't pin point it. He got blown out pretty hard in his first couple encounters that night. I asked him how he thought it went and he was really hard on himself.

At that point I merely coached him a little, made him laugh, then told him to SMILE constantly. He approached his next group of women smiling and it went well, which further upped his game throughout the night. While he didn't suddenly transform into a Casanova, It's funny how something as simple as a SMILE and attitude adjustment upped his game 10 fold.

A positive attitude is the difference between someone who is just going through the motions of the game and the guys who will WIN in LIFE. These are the men who actually have lots of sex with women. The guys who come off natural and have a constant flood of women in their lives.

This fundamental attitude has been the factor that has lead to the majority of my success with women. Not just any women, but hot, smart, funny, HIGH QUALITY women!

~Will

Disclaimer--

Do I walk around all 'happy go lucky' with a big fat grin on my face ALL the time? Not at all. But I do have a slightly more positive outlook on life than a negative outlook. My overall frame towards women is that they are cute, friendly and want to meet me.

Also, I constantly work on developing and maintaining this attitude. This attitude does not come natural for a lot of us. Read inspirational stories, self improvement, surround yourself with like minded people, think happy thoughts, and live a positive life!

This attitude leads to greatness in all facets of your life.

Most importantly, to really get good you not only have to have the right POSITIVE ATTITUDE, but you have to TAKE ACTION.

 

[mtlwlu]

I completely agree, I remember being down in the dumps and finding a book called "the secret" and instantly I started seeing positive traits in everything. But the one book Id highly recommend to anyone is "A new Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, its probably the main reason why I rarely if ever get stressed out anymore.

 

[Interceptor]

The idea or concept of being 'positive' is sometimes difficult to really comprehend, and integrate into one's lifestyle.

So I think sometimes, the concept of 'being positive' can be to look at the way YOU MOVE THROUGH LIFE

Are you a pessimistic person?
Do you think only in worst case scenarios?
Are you AFRAID of going outside of your comfort zone?
Do you LEARN from your mistakes, and negative incidents, and poor circumstances?


Do you always think in terms of BAD/GOOD?
In what is called a Duality Perception?

Think about these things, and begin to really build a life concept that is mature and healthy, and a true code and philosophy that MOVES you forward, not holds you down....

Learn to MINE your WOUNDS for GOLD.


Learn your LESSONS. and transcend them.

That is not only 'attractive to women', it is the TRUE manner of healthy and mature Living.

 

[slaog]

I've made great progress over the past year. I've really put alot of time into changing the way I think and it's working for me. I now see things much more clearly then I used to and I am a more attractive person to women now too.

Law of attraction is also is helping me.. I'm now attracting the sort of women that I'm focusing on... or should I say I'm focusing on the sort of women I want instead of focusing on women I don't want. Anybody with a negative attitude towards women will get more negativity back!

I completely agree, I remember being down in the dumps and finding a book called "the secret" and instantly I started seeing positive traits in everything. But the one book Id highly recommend to anyone is "A new Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, its probably the main reason why I rarely if ever get stressed out anymore.

Is it much better then the power of now? I might get it..

 

[Vypros]

We are so afraid of "negativity" in our society today. Everywhere you look, someone is cramming this "be positive!" crap down your throat. I think it's a load of bunk.

You don't fix your problems by lying to yourself.

Let me say that again.

YOU DON'T FIX YOUR PROBLEMS BY LYING TO YOURSELF.

The problem we have, and the reasons we get depressed/remain in a slump is not that we don't have positive attitudes. It's that we don't know how to think any other way BUT negative.

It's ok to have a negative attitude sometimes. It's ok to be sad, angry, upset, and vulnerable sometimes. The mark of being a man has nothing to do with avoiding those emotions. It has everything to do with being strong enough to FACE those emotions, let them flow through you, and not allowing them to keep you down.

You want to effect serious change in your life? Start being honest with yourself. This is going to sound simple, PC, and tired but:

Know thyself.

Love thyself.

Be thyself.

Those aren't concepts, those are PROCESSES. To make it through each of those three steps is going to take a LOT of time, struggle, work, etc. And you have to do it in that order. You can't love yourself if you don't know who you are. You can't be yourself if you don't really love yourself.

If you want a good self-help book, I suggest the following:

Shut up, stop whining, and get a life by Larry Winget

Simple. Straight forward. Real.

 

[slaog]

We are so afraid of "negativity" in our society today. Everywhere you look, someone is cramming this "be positive!" crap down your throat. I think it's a load of bunk.

You don't fix your problems by lying to yourself.

Let me say that again.

YOU DON'T FIX YOUR PROBLEMS BY LYING TO YOURSELF.

The problem we have, and the reasons we get depressed/remain in a slump is not that we don't have positive attitudes. It's that we don't know how to think any other way BUT negative.

It's ok to have a negative attitude sometimes. It's ok to be sad, angry, upset, and vulnerable sometimes. The mark of being a man has nothing to do with avoiding those emotions. It has everything to do with being strong enough to FACE those emotions, let them flow through you, and not allowing them to keep you down.

You want to effect serious change in your life? Start being honest with yourself. This is going to sound simple, PC, and tired but:

Know thyself.

Love thyself.

Be thyself.

Those aren't concepts, those are PROCESSES. To make it through each of those three steps is going to take a LOT of time, struggle, work, etc. And you have to do it in that order. You can't love yourself if you don't know who you are. You can't be yourself if you don't really love yourself.

If you want a good self-help book, I suggest the following:

Shut up, stop whining, and get a life by Larry Winget

Simple. Straight forward. Real.

Nobody is saying to act positive we're saying to become positive. It's not about lying it's about becoming a better person.

Yes it is ok to be negative but you're reality will be negative in return and don't expect to attract many women. There are different levels and people can appear positive when they're not and vice versa but basically the positive person is happier and attracts more women then the negative person.

If you were a woman and you saw a negative man in the corner or a positive man on the dance floor who would be more attractive to her? It's ok to be negative but don't expect positive things to happen.

I think the point you were making is that you shouldn't act positive and I agree because you're only fooling yourself.

 

[Birdem]

You could face your fears with a negative attutide, but it will be harder to accomplish. If you have a positive attutide towards things it will be more simple. IF affirmations and stuff like that are bullsh it to you than why do advertising companies spend so much money to f uck with your mind? because they like to spend money? Think about it...

 

[Vypros]

I think the point you were making is that you shouldn't act positive and I agree because you're only fooling yourself.

Yeah, that's the gist of it. Keeping a positive attitude is great, but only in the sense that you have a healthy self image. When sh*t happens, it happens. Don't BS yourself into trying to make it positive, even if you can find a silver lining in every cloud. The thing itself is negative and a little negativity is healthy for you. It's only bad when it's at toxic levels.

You could face your fears with a negative attutide, but it will be harder to accomplish. If you have a positive attutide towards things it will be more simple. IF affirmations and stuff like that are bullsh it to you than why do advertising companies spend so much money to f uck with your mind? because they like to spend money? Think about it...

Affirmations ARE bullsh*t. Advertising and affirmations are two separate things.

To continually tell yourself that you are a "winner" and you are the "man" is wasting your time and lying to yourself. You don't have to be a "winner" to win, just like if you fail a lot it doesn't make you a failure.

You are NOT a positive emotion. You are NOT "good" or "bad" person. You are just a person who strives to do stuff. You are just a person who strives to be happy.

no more, no less. You don't defeat a negative thought by affirming that the opposite is true. You defeat a negative thought and a negative self-image by facing it, accepting it, and changing it. Doing something about your situation is way more effective than telling yourself that you are a winner.

 

[Sandow]

This is good advice, but very close to being contradictory to what is taught here at SS. The problem is that's it's very NICE, and women aren't turned on by nice guys. Article after article proves that women are attracted to jerks/alphas, so by being so optimistic and nice, you may not be coming off as alpha.

Perhaps a combination of both optimism and alpha is a better trait. I just think you shouldn't forget about being somewhat of a jerk, but yet a positive side too.

My point is: be too positive/nice and women will place you in the LJBF zone. Women crave a little tension, danger, excitement sometimes. Just don't get too soft.

 

[slaog]

This is good advice, but very close to being contradictory to what is taught here at SS. The problem is that's it's very NICE, and women aren't turned on by nice guys. Article after article proves that women are attracted to jerks/alphas, so by being so optimistic and nice, you may not be coming off as alpha.

Perhaps a combination of both optimism and alpha is a better trait. I just think you shouldn't forget about being somewhat of a jerk, but yet a positive side too.

My point is: be too positive/nice and women will place you in the LJBF zone. Women crave a little tension, danger, excitement sometimes. Just don't get too soft.

It's never that simple. Bad boys are more positive than Nice guys in many if not more ways. Nice guys ACT nicey nice and thats why they have little success.

Bad boys are more positive in many ways including the confidence to get women and have a care free attitude etc.

Nice guys think they are lower than women and complain about women chasing bad boys etc. They have a negative attitude generally in terms of attracting women although on the surface they ACT nice.

 

[Interceptor]

Very true.
I think it is important to let go of the association of Nice with weakness,and weak bondaries, and being a door mat, seeking approval.
Sure, we have created that association, but the alternative is NOT to embrace the immaturity and poor character of the Bad Boy/Jerk.

It is not 'bad' to be 'nice'.
It IS when you have weak boundaries and are NOT Assertive. AND especially, when you USE 'being nice' to manipulate others in giving you things.
We have made Nice such a revulsion, that we abhor it, and we assume that behaving in poor character is desired, and normal, and somehow Desireable. And that being a genuine Good Man is somehow stupid, lame, uncool, and all sorts of high school, juvenile associations. This is really the bane of many men's existence in our times. Many men believ that one cannot BE 'nice' without being taken advantage of. But the truth is that it all depends on YOU, on your Personal Boundary. And from WHERE you Operate from. Do you operate from confidence and abundance? Or neediness and poor character?

We have made being a Good Man into a Bad thing.
And we have glamorized Poor Character,and embrace Dysfunction.
This is purely 100% WRONG.

Many men have unfortunately NOT made the connection to the undesireability of being the bad boy and associating with low self esteem, poor character and ulitmately low quality females.
The important thing is to grasp the masculine and sexual essence, without embracing the 'bad boy' in totality.
Maintain your connection to sexuality and masculinity, and still be an honorable and Quality man of High Character.
To 'act' and 'pretend' to be a 'bad boy' reeks of insecurity, supplication, and poor character. A boy who seeks to prey on low self esteem, immature females. Instead of embracing honor, integrity, and true Masculine Core essence. The "bad boy " will never be successful in other areas of life.

The true masculine, and mature man has every door wide open to him.



Having weak boundaries and lacking assertiveness are still poor character too.
This is to be avoided.

Understand that the concept of 'being Alpha' is NOT associated with being a 'bad boy'.
Being Alpha is the antithesis of being a 'bad BOY'.
Only mature men can be true inherently Alpha Males.
You can try to rationalize it, pretend otherwise....but it's the truth.


An Alpha , for our purposes, is a man who is calm, confident, unreactive, self assured, decisive, and also compassionate, understanding, aware of his surroundings, and the feelings of those near him.
He stands up for people. He maintains his integrity, and he also is kind to others. All the while moving on his own path in life.
An Alpha has qualities that make him a leader. That helps him forge Alliances.
No one wants to be an ally to an Ass hole.
And a 'bad boy' is typically a self centred, arrogant and ultimately, immature ass hole.
Dont be that guy.

 

[Solon]

One key to this whole process that you’re speaking of is breaking patterns. From a scientific point of view breaking a pattern has a true base. You’re trying to weaken neurological connections in the mind by diverting your path of thought. This serves two purposes. One, the connection to the "negative/old" connections within your brain becomes weaker. Second; the connection to the "positive/new" connections slowly build, and become stronger. Eventually it becomes natural for the brain to associate situations/thoughts with the "positive/new" connection. This process can go both ways though.

Now, taking the process into account leads us to why its useful to stay “positive”. Staying "positive" while confronting the issues you face is a plausible idea. Addressing and giving these "negative" feelings attention will strengthen the neurological connection to that feeling. Which in turn will set you back in the long run.

The process I took to overcome many of my mental (Negative) blocks was to examine them. Once I understood what the problem was I could then go forward in correcting the problem. (I would go into the process of what it takes to correct a problem, but honestly that is an incredibly subjective process. There are tips and tricks of course, but each person [and the problems they face] is different. So what I went through will naturally be different than what you go through) When the "negative" feelings I was trying to overcome sprang up in my head I diverted my thought to break the connection to that feeling. Even making the mind void of thought or thinking of something completely unrelated. Just diverting that connection will weaken it. Even to a completely unrelated subject. One side note though. A diversion of thought should not be used as an answer to the problem. Examination, and working through the problem is the most important step. Diverting thought is just a tool to help the process of change continue.

PS: There is another process at work as well. How our chemical computer of a brain uses hormones and receptor sites within cells. That is another huge factor in the brains behavior/reaction to circumstance. If you’re curious about that aspect I'll gladly make another reply.

 

[Birdem]

How can you ever do anything if you have a negative attutide towards things. Do not knock things that you haven't tried. I do not care what anybody says here you can't change the outside without the inside. What does you giving yourself credit have to do with being a nice guy. If I think i'm a winner how will that turn me into a nice guy. If you believe you are a loser you will come off as a nice guy because you will think the girl is better than you(out of your league). If you believe you are a loser and you do something about it like change your cloths or hairstyle you are still a loser with nice cloths and a cool haircut plain and simple all it takes is a matter of time till they realize you are a phony. Do you ever realize ugly guys with pretty girls do you think he thinks he is a loser or ugly f uck? I'm not saying tell yourself every second of the day to tell yourself you are a winner, but before heading out.

 

[Micheal Moon]

Think positive is really an essential way of moving through life. Plus positive people are generally more fun to be around and attract more people around them. Research shows positive people are generally happier. I am really making an effort to apply it. I dont know why, but Ive always thought of the glass half empty instead of half full.

I've always heard, "Think positive!" Yes, but how? I have found it very difficult to be honest. I have looked into different methods. For me visualization has helped me. Ive used it school to great effect. I've visualized myself getting the marks I think I deserve and my marks have come within the same range. This becomes a self fufilling prophecy as I study harder and consequently my marks get better.

This summer I was struggling with a particular health problem. I have visualized myself in a healthy state and Ive improved remarkably VERY close to the way I visualized myself looking and am improving. Its taken great effort, but I credit think positively as part of drastically changing my situation.

I am starting to apply it here in the game. So far its helped me counterbalance negative thoughts I tend to have. Whenever I have negative thoughts I counterbalance them with positive ones by visualizing something positive. I guess after reading Solons post I realized I've actually found a method to divert my connection. I think of something positive on the same subject. My goal is to go the next level. The process towards having a positive attitude a good majority of the time.

Mens Health magazine printed a study once. Two groups of men were told to increase the strength in their pinky finger. One group of men did excercises to build up the strength in their finger, the other visualized their pinky getting stronger. Guess what, the group that visualized made the same strength gains as the ones who did excercises! So it can be very powerful.

When I took psychology in university, I read about studies about women with breast cancer. The ones who showed a positive attitude survived
at a higher rate than the ones who didnt.

So thats why I mentiones at the beginning that thinking positively is essential to life. In extreme cases its the difference between life and death!