Please Analyze this Chat.......

[gixxer]

OK, this is an email thread I've had going for a few days with a girl I met online. I dropped her when it seemed like she turned B!tch on me after I asked her to get together. Not sure if I moved in too fast or if she just had low interest, but I'd like to hear some opinions.......

ME: Drop me an email - I've got a ??? for ya.

gixx

HER: sure. whats up?
jenn

ME: Wondered if you really keep your car "amazingly" clean. And just how clean is "amazingly"

HER: lol. i do. i just cleaned it yesterday actually. wash, armor all the interior, rainex and windex on the windows... tire cleaner crap... tough stuff on the carpets and seats (if it needs it).... im actually due to wax it also.

ME: You actually rain-x the windows? I thought I was the only one! LOL I use Invisible Glass instead of windex though. What kind of car?

HER: lol. youre not the only one! thanks for the tip. and i have a 97 camry... its not exactly hot, but its reliable. lol. what about you?

ME: What about me? I'm hot AND reliable

HER: lol. oh yea? ill keep that in mind...

ME: Oh, you meant my car? LOL Chevy truck. I have pics on my page there. You into bikes?

HER: ohhh yea. nice. i like bikes, but ive never been on one before. my friend just got one so im tryin to convince him to take me out. lol

ME: Yeah, let him teach you so you'll know what you're doing when you ride with me LOL

So are you any fun? You seem like you might be. Gotta go work out - I'll hit ya back later.

gixx

HER: LOL. ok... id like to say im fun, but sometimes i have to warm up to people first, i can be shy. but once im over that... i can be crazy. lol.
ive gotta go too. ttyl
jenn


ME: Listen to you. "I've got to go too" You can't play that card! I already played it. You're just trying to play catch up......

So you're shy at first followed by crazy, huh? Interesting. I don't really picture you being shy but if you say so.....

So what are you going to do with that psyc degree besides analyze all the guys you date and decide they have issues?

HER: lol... no i really did have to go... i had to pick up my sister. so there!
Yea, i can be really shy, but not as bad as i used to be. I can you picture me as not being shy when all youve got is a pic to go by?? huh??? lol Hopefully, I will use my psych degree to be a high school psychologist. I wanted to major in secondary ed, but their
really arent any subjects i like enough to teach... plus i love psych.

ME: Pick up your sister...... Sure........

I don't know, you just look outgoing and fun in your pics. Something about the smile - sweet and friendly and a little bratty.

So are you going to use your degree to analyze the guys you date? I bet you are........ You'd have a field day with me LOL

OK, you're doing a bad job of getting your friend to take you out on his bike. I guess I'll have to take you. You up for a ride with me?

HER: lol. well, i am sweet, friendly, and im not mean or *****y or anything.. just very sarcastic.... last nite my best friend goes... "you know sometimes i DONT like your sarcasm".... i told him... "oh well" lol. i wont scare guys away by analyzing them, unless they turn out to be psychotic or something (no pun intended) and you definately seem like the type of guy i could analyze forever.. lol jk. as for the bike, we'll have to see.... to be honest, i dont usually meet up with random guys. no offense. but you never know.

ME: Well, to be honest, I usually don't email "random" girls back and fourth for weeks without meeting them. Not into the whole pen pal "maybe we'll meet someday" BS. Too busy for that......

HER: ok. thats fine.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It may have been too soon to meet because I don't think you had given her much of a reason to meet you. I'm not one to say that everyone should meet after a certain number of interaction HOWEVER I do think that a it should be readily apparent that each person would have a fun time meeting after two or three exchanges.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by gixxer

ME: Listen to you. "I've got to go too" You can't play that card! I already played it. You're just trying to play catch up......

So you're shy at first followed by crazy, huh? Interesting. I don't really picture you being shy but if you say so.....

So what are you going to do with that psyc degree besides analyze all the guys you date and decide they have issues?

....

HER: as for the bike, we'll have to see.... to be honest, i dont usually meet up with random guys. no offense. but you never know.

ME: Well, to be honest, I usually don't email "random" girls back and fourth for weeks without meeting them. Not into the whole pen pal "maybe we'll meet someday" BS. Too busy for that......

FRom the script we could see that you got angry " you can't play...you are just rtying...".
Thats no good. You appear as somebody crabby, angry and therefore not confident. Although she gave you a good answer...
expect "random guys".
Honestly you pissed her off... and she didn't want to meet with a guy who is already angry.

But you reacted with even more anger "I dont play.. BS..". You know it may sounds like insult for her.
She sees you as being abit angry, she is reluctant to meet you.
It is normal man. Dont show her your bad vibes. But next you pressed her even more....sure she bails.

Conclusion: do not show her you are angry with her. Keep your cool. Or make it funny.
Example from my emails:
She: I am not comfortable sharing a pic..
<I thought WTF?? but said something different:>
Me: Comfortable? Oh yeah, I feel really comfortable in winter next to a warm fireplace with a glass of good wine..
She: hahhaha.. blah blah...

So I just "disperse" her "uncomfortability" with a simple but positive image. If I say "WTF? It is just a pic...Who are you scared of? This is all BS" that would have a totally opposite effect.

 

[gixxer]

OK, I probably could have played things a bit better. Bottom line is I think she was a loser with low interest, but I probably should have layed back more and built more trust in her first.

I took the "random guy" thing as a slap in the face though. I was inviting her out for a good time and she kind of spit on me. Calling me a "random guy" was basically saying that I had no importance to her on any level and I think it was a deliberate diss.

And, yes, I have a deep hatred of women that I'm trying to deal with

 

[iveyleeger]

random guy wasn't a diss. you lost it on the very last line, it would've been fine with just the first sentence, but not the BS stuff.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by gixxer

I took the "random guy" thing as a slap in the face though. I was inviting her out for a good time and she kind of spit on me. Calling me a "random guy" was basically saying that I had no importance to her on any level and I think it was a deliberate diss.

And, yes, I have a deep hatred of women that I'm trying to deal with

gixxer,

Do you know that probably 50% of women who are approached by men think of them as "random guys"? And many women usually are simply fear somebody who is "random" even if he is offering some good time.
She told you what is acceptable in women's mind.

In any case, dont ever show your anger to a woman - she'll immediately get that you are not confident and she might get scared. Just laugh it off... talk more...pretend she didn't say anything important. Just continue the convo a little bit longer.

 

[gixxer]

Yeah, probably not one of my best moments now that I think about it more.

But still, as guys we have to deal with women throwing curves at us CONSTANTLY. When you deal with a lot of women it's only a matter of time before one of them gets you to crack like this one did to me. I actually have handled a lot of BS pretty well lately, but I just snapped with this one.

Someday I'll handle this type of thing in stride ALWAYS.

I do have some women hatred issues from all the times I got cut up in my AFC days, though. Guess I better put on the miner's hat and go deep into the old noggin and fix 'em now, huh?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by gixxer
Yeah, probably not one of my best moments now that I think about it more.

But still, as guys we have to deal with women throwing curves at us CONSTANTLY. When you deal with a lot of women it's only a matter of time before one of them gets you to crack like this one did to me. I actually have handled a lot of BS pretty well lately, but I just snapped with this one.

Someday I'll handle this type of thing in stride ALWAYS.

I do have some women hatred issues from all the times I got cut up in my AFC days, though. Guess I better put on the miner's hat and go deep into the old noggin and fix 'em now, huh?

gixxer,

Do you think I am all that positive? Far from it. I tend to see things negatively and yeah I had to deal with similar BS from women. Do you think I completely lack that hatred you mentioned? of course I dont.

But what I learnt is that anger is a huge turn off for women.
Even if you are boiling with anger... well - just quit talking to her for a moment and got to the bathroom. Dont ever let her know you can be very angry and therefore vulnerable: not that you have to smile all the time, but just if you really want to say something that would piss her off - don't.

How do you deal with women when they are PMSing? When she is crabby all the time without a reason... The best way just to bail and hide for a couple of days. Let her deal with her issues herself.
If you feel you are going to crack - run. hide. take a break from her. You dont really need to handle it all teh time - if you feel low, angry - dont handle it all - just pretend you didn't hear it and take a break from communicating with her.

Hatred can be used to your advatange by the way - it makes you care less what they women think, therefore your CA would be much more natural and attractive for them....