players n experienced DJs oppinions only

[duttylove]

i have a strange question here. but here it goes.

i was FBs with a girl for some time but when she wanted more i cut her lose, she is now seeing her current BF and has been for about a year. the guy is not a player but he has the DJ/Player mentality so she knows thats if she f**ks up he will cut her lose. my DJ/Player skills are beyond his though. and he knows this. he has asked her to cut me out of her life which see kind of has althought we never really talked much any way. but she sneaks in the odd conversation /email/sms or phone call now and then.

my point is. that i could F**k this girl if i so desired. even though she is totally in love with her BF. i believe this is because she still has a small amount of feelings for me because of the way i acted, cutting her lose, being with alot of woman and just being me.

now im not asking weather or not i should f**k her thats completely up to me. but reversing the situation, if i were in his shoes i wouldnt know what to do. (i ask this because i am thinking of persuing a LTR of my own with some one i like)

he says he loves her, but is also weary of me. the only time he ever loses his player/DJ frame is when im involved. he knows i could f**k her if i wanted to by the way she acts, she will use me as a jelousy tool to get a reaction out of him. but now he has learned thats what shes doing. he realises that there might still be potential feeling. she says she loves him but how can this be true if theres a chance (a good chance) she will sleep with me if she thinks she cannot get caught.

so heres my question, what would you do. knowing that theres one person who could f**k things up for you, would you leave the girl? trust her? am i missing something here, please give some input on this.

my own conclusion is that i would leave the girl even after a year because she is still even concidering the other guy as a friend and had to be TOLD to cut off communication.

 

[JonJack]

There's so many potential people that could fvck things up for you. It's only when you become aware of a specific person that could actually fvck things up for you that you start thinking about it.

This is the problem. No one brings themselves to understand that their relationship with their girl can be potentially fvcked up by people. They act all surprised when it happens to them. Like it shouldn't be happening to them or it can't be happening to them.

Shyt can always happen. Even when you feel you're at your happiest moment. You don't bother about it until it does happen. Obviously there are certain signs that could point to a problem. All these are just meant to remind you that shyt can happen. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying yourself. You only stop when the shyt hits the fan. If the signs are too much however, that's where you just cut yourself loose and find someone else. It's as simple as that.

 

[serial_kisser]

if you were infront of me.....i would slap you........what the hell you think........she is usuing you.........jeeeeez....don't you get it.....just move on...there are so many hot girls out there.......for get her....

 

[izza]

You know, that's an excellent question. Thank you for posting it.

I think that a suspicious guy friend one of the most difficult situations to deal with in an LTR. There are more landmines there than along the Iraq-Iran border. On the one hand, what right do you have to tell another free human being who they may or may not see, so long as you are her bf. There's definitely a danger of seeming jealous, or of making a person choose between a bf and a "friend" (whom you suspect). But on the other, a man has to set limits and standards, and cannot tolerate girls indecisive, immature, or dishonest.

What you can certainly do is make it as clear as the air we breathe that if she cheats on you in the slightest way, she will be gone permanently. Basically, I tell a woman that if she cheats on me, she will get all the forgiveness and best wishes in the world, but she will be very lucky to receive even my friendship after that. Women look to us men to set limits and to live by them - this is what a disciplined man does, and women have a profound respect for a man of convictions. As for the pain leaving her might cause, I've been through a little bit of what I call real pain before - in comparison, dropping a cheater is like scoring a goal in a wide-open net.

But I don't think I would ever tell a girl not to see some guy. I don't think I should ever have to do that. If a girl is mature and upright, she does not need to be told who to see and who not to see. She will do what is right if she wants to keep you. Girls do exist like this - I know what it's like to have faith shattered, i have been cheated on and not told about it, and I still believe women like this exist. If you can't trust an LTR girl with some other guy, she is immature, or perhaps a bit indecisive if she likes you. There are some women who lack scruples, and they need to be dropped. There are some women who "aren't sure" if they want to be with you after a long time, and they need to be dropped. There are some women who lack the maturity for an LTR, and they need to be dropped.

But sometimes a girl comes along and she passes all my standards and I decide she's worth it. If she has a suspicious friend, I usually make a joke like this: "please wait at least until next week to elope to Italy with your friend Tom, you promised to make me apple pie on Thursday. After that, though, arrivederci!" If done infrequently, this tests the waters (watch her level of uncomfortability), shows you care (through irony) and that you've got an eye on her, but besides all this, it's usually pretty funny. But it keeps her on the straight and narrow.

If overdone, it becomes imposing and an indirect, more cowardly and inefficient way of showing jealousy. Infrequent is the key.

Maybe it's true what some say that there are no women who can be trusted not to cheat if a charming enough guy comes along at the wrong time. Since it would require provinig a negative, it's impossible to prove that a woman would never cheat, but very possible to speculate. Maybe, in any case, we just have to trust the gut, and hope for good luck.

Have a great day, and good luck in your budding LTR bro!

 

[duttylove]

thanks for the input, i guess the reason i ask this question is not that i worry about girls cheating, if they cheat there gone.

but that i worry about them cheating and me not knowing about it.

if i slept with this girl, her BF would not find out unless she told him which would be unlikley concidering she doesnt want to lose him.

so whats stopping a girl cheating on me and me not knowing about it and just continuing with the relationship without a clue.

fair enuff, if i dont know then i cant get upset or burned what ever u guys wana call it but i dont like the thought of some one being able to do that. any more thoughts on this.

 

[So pimp its scary]

First thing that I would do in your shoes is to stop being such a pu$$y whipped b!tch.

Seriously, you broke up you shouldn't even be considering the type of gyy the boyfriend is... unless you were hoping to get a chance to bend over in front of him.

Now, just because this guy is MORE of a chump than you are, it doesn't make you and LESS of a chump for sticking around and wanting to interfere in the relationship.

 

[duttylove]

so pimp its scary, i think u missed the whole point of the question. ur comments arnt helpful atall but thanks for trying

 

[Nighthawk]

Jealous, sexually insecure rivals can be dangerous, but they often go with the territory. It's really up to you if you want to take the risk, but if you do it might be a good idea to get some info on this guy so he won't risk doing anything stupid. Make it clear (to her, if not him) you have back-up if he wants trouble, but its no guarantee. Depends on the man.

But it sounds like you're already worried and its no fun looking over your shoulder all the time. Proceed with caution.

 

[JackPrescott]

Hmmm. This one is very interesting. In a FB relationship, the rules are, there are no rules. Unless she SPECIFICALLY tells you, "look, I'm in love with this guy now, and he is my boyfriend and I am faithful to him, cant we LJBF?" if she is calling you, then she is basically "leaving a window of oppurtunity open" for you to fuuck her, regardless of how good the sex is with the other guy or any feelings of actual love she has towards him. The very fact that she is still contacting you is key here. Why would a woman who has slept with a man in the past continue to call him? Not to discuss the weather, sweetheart, she remembers those sweaty nights of passion, and hey, sometimes when a gal has had Swiss Mocha for 2 months straight, she gets in the mood for a fix of Rocky Road, know what I'm sayin'?

 

[blueangel83]

 

[blueangel83]

I know what you're trying to do, you want to know what the other guy (her boyfriend) is thinking.

I thought you said you were a better DJ than him so why couldn't you figure this out on your own?

He doesn't trust his woman and here's the GOOD NEWS...the boyfriend is INTIMIDATED by you. Why? because you said it yourself he wanted her to cut any type of communication with you.

He will not let her go. He wants to see how you are going to try to ruin their relationship. Right now he sees himself a winner and you a loser. The girl is the prize.

 

[duttylove]

blueangel ur rite im trying to guess how the guys mind works.

just so u all are clear, im not going into a relation ship with this girl or a FB of mine its some one new but she used to have an FB. yet tells me she wants to remain friends with him if we start goin out properly.

so im going into the same situation as him. she told him that she wanted to be just friends with me, but when we were as friends we have fooled around flirted etc now and then i can tell most of it was to make her man jelous as he doesnt ever seem to be and has found that i do the trick so she is using me in that aspect but when hes not around she used to go further than flirting if u catch my drift. now that cant be to make him jelous because he doesnt know.

so i am hesitant because my girl is saying this to me. and judging from my experience with EX fbs im guessing its going to happen to me like it happened ot him.

 

[duttylove]

edited

 

[MightyMate]

I wouldnt trust her at all. I would tell her that its not love if shes interested and such. I dont really LTR woman who aint in full love in me, and this girl seems not. I think id next her with ther slutty attitude.