Player lifestyle, is it really worth it?

KaJaMo

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I'll start off with some background about myself..and then get to what exactly im trying to say.

Around five years ago I was still in high school and probably like most guys who come across sites like these had problems with girls.. I had the looks and style.. just I didn’t have game.. i didn’t understand how some guys had it all and I spent countless nights dreaming about girls that other guys had. Despite from playing High school football.. I remember after our games were over seeing all the "popular" guys on my team having girls waiting for them after the games outside of the looker room.. where they would go off into the night and bang at one place or another. Yet i would end up going home and thinking why that wasn’t me. I would spend football camp listening to guys boast about their hook up stories yet I had none of my own. As my friends started experimenting with girls I would make up my own stories just to get the feeling of fitting in.. it was pretty sad. I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong.. I had good friends, looks, and was a fun guy.. and was by no means considered a social reject.

So one night I remember, I googled "how to be a player" and was surprised to find the vast online community that specialized in the art of picking up women.

One of the first sites i clicked on was becomeaplayer.com.. I quickly fell into a state of euphoria thinking all of my problems were solved! So over the next few weeks i quickly soaked up all of the information the website offered.. signing up for the newsletters and such. I then discovered Sosuave.. if I remember correctly it had a wide array of personalities giving advice. I would become a regular and make good friends with some of those guys.. one of them I still talk to to this day. Anyway so as the weeks past I gained more and more knowledge into the "game" and realized i basically had no confidence and was self conscious. I remember I read how a player should walk with his head up high just above the horizon level.. So one day at school walking down the hall I did just that.. it was almost a complete transformation.

As my high school years progressed I came close to graduation and the funny thing is this advice really did work! I became a junkie to this and sosuave.com reading all of the articles and what people had to say constantly.. I became obsessed with the player community. I completely changed my style, my attitude, my persona, my total way of being... but is a good change?

I became completely obsessed with being a player.. being that guy that all men envied.. I spent money on DVDs so i could watch others perform game that I heard were good.. ie Hitch, Risky Business, Swingers.. I purchased top notch cologne, a watch.. new dress shirts and jeans from bana republic.. I was infatuated with being "that guy."

I was at a very impressionable age.. being 16, 17 and I would do pretty much anything to be a Player.

The fact is I have probably suffered more than actually gained from crafting this image of myself and becoming it.. I was totally obsessed .. I would read funny stories online that guys used in the field and make them MY stories.. yeah it worked.. but it was sad. I'm not going to lie I’ve probably had sex with more girls than 90% of the guys I know, I’ve made guys wonder how I do it.. ive hooked up with girls good enough to be in Playboy.. I became what I wanted to be.. I am a Player.. recognized by men and women alike that know me.

So college came.. The summer before I had maximized my game ... I always looked sharp .. had a witty comment.. had the confidence of Brad Pitt.. and talked to the finest girls.. That summer before my first year of college I knew all that the "online source" of seduction had to give me.. I knew it all and with that amount of confidence.. I decided I didn’t need it anymore.. So i stopped going to these sites.. later to come back and criticize people that are just like the way I was before I became a Player.

I took lesson such as "****y and Funny" to a whole new degrees.. I was a complete *******.. To my family, friends, girls, bosses, you name it. My Ego couldn’t fit on the continent of Asia.. and I pumped myself up so much that it was disgusting.

So back to my first year of college.. It was simply great.. college is a player’s playground... every weekend was a new girl.. I joined a frat .. became a frat guy.. and simply had it all.. I had my dream life.. I had the same ******* friends as I was.. I hooked up with more girls than any you probably know.. I finally fulfilled my fantasy of being a Player.. that guy i wanted to be so bad early in high school..

Second year rolls around.. I end up meeting this girl and completely falling in love with her.. she was amazing.. I loved her, she loved me.. it was great. The thing the whole player mentality was so wired to my brain that i f*cked it all up. I would constantly make fun of her.. and take it to a whole new level.. I was such an ******* I would make her cry on a regular basis.. I would lie about myself.. just to make her like me even more.. it was really horrible.. I made this girl fall in love with someone who i wasn’t.. She fell in love with my player alter ego. So about half a year into the relationship... i fell for this girl so much.. that I had no idea what to do.. all i knew.. was player mode.. and old me mode..

So I turned into that AFC.. with ******* qualities.. I was a mess. Things were getting very deep between us... she started questioning things I had lied about to make her like me more.. hey were big things too.. not things that I could have been like oh im just kidding.

Well to make a longer story short.. I ended up breaking up with her.. and it was the biggest mistake of my life. She told me the night I broke up with her that no matter that I put her through all that **** I did.. she would have never broken up with me.. but I broke up with her. That was that.

It's now Two Years later... and my friend put it to me quit boldly one night... I had come back to my apartment and was looking at old pics of my ex gf and he happened to have im'd me.. I told him.. why can't I get over her it's been two years.. ive been with so many girls since and still nothing... he told me something I’ll never forget..

"No matter how many women you sleep with, drugs I do, or hours I spend partying.. she gave you something that can never give you.. "

It's completely the truth.

What I'm trying to tell you guys.. is keep moderation in your life.. never become obsessed or fixated like I did.. I f*cked up the love of my life because of the Player life I have been obsessed with..

Granted, im over it whatever.. I have a skill most guys would give their left nut to have.. but when you find that special girl... don’t throw her in the curb or never call her again or treat her like you would any other girl.. because those girls are one in a million.

Now impart to my success... My Full Tilt lifestyle was at it's peak actually when i did leave the online seduction community...

The best 2 ways to improve your game.. A. Make friends with guys who have game.. and B. EXPOSE yourself to situations where you can meet and talk to girls.. it's that simple. That's it. Because the more situations you create for yourself.. the probability of you "getting lucky" goes up.

I could probably elabortate on girls and tactics all day. If anyone is inetrested about certain topics let me know..

Kaj
 

speakeasy

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Interesting story man. When I read Style's book, he came to the same conclusions you did. All these guys that had the game, they knew absolutely nothing about how to have an actual relationship with a woman. Believe it or not, I have known people who have been through worse than you in this regard. He found a new love and he is now married and has a baby due in a few weeks. You will find another girl that will be special. Just be glad you have the skills to attract the women in the first place. That's half the battle, the other half is making sure you don't screw it up. The guys in bad shape are the ones who can't attract the girls in the first place.

I totally agree with your second to last paragraph. I only WISH I had a group of dudes that have game that I could go out with.

Oh, and welcome to the forum.
 
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I respectfully disagree. I think that both ends of the spectrum, player or virgin are just about the same when dealing with someone who really cares about you. Let me attest to the fact that I have never been with anyone before, and I'm not a player, yet I cant keep a relationship going on with someone who was into me because I didn't have enough chemistry with her and I sort of 'pulled the plug' (dumped her in a sence) and have stopped calling her but rather focusing on improving my game to meet more women.

So, you feel you've meet this one special woman and you let her go and I've heard that story before, so, it looks like players have the same luck as I do in terms of maintaining relationships, boy that's a cold consolation for me.
 

Obsidian

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Well, I would say you have oneitis -- except for the fact that you've been with multiple girls since the one you described. Why don't you just get back together with her again if you think she's so great?
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

L777

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I may be completely wrong, but I got the impression that you just wanted to tell everyone how much of a player you are. COngratulations. Seriously, there wasn't really a point there was there?
 
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