Planning my life

[AttackFormation]

I've never had anyone I can talk with in my real life so I'm turning to you guys which I'm glad to do, since I have a lot of respect for this forum and the guys on here. Psychiatrists and psychologists tell me to find a mentor, and on that they're right.

Today

Stockholm, Sweden
Turning 23 in two months after writing this
No formal skills and no completed education
Activities I currently do include martial arts and gym

I would guess that I have some kind of depression and can remember having more or less the same mood since I was 12. I've had something like a passive death wish since I think I was 15. In hindsight I think my upbringing is the root reason for those things, something I only started to figure out in recent years. I won't bother you with the details unless someone is curious, I don't mind but the point is my childhood had some crucial guidance missing and replaced with stress.

I've got enough money to subsist on right now from working that I'm free to do what I want in 2016 so I'm doing this planning. In 2016 I'm going to finish my education so I can get into university, it's hard for me to put in effort to study outside of structured environments but I can do it when I just put in the effort.

Visions of the Future

I want to get out of Sweden, don't think humans are meant to live here. If I had to sum this country's climate up I would say dark, cloudy, cold. I think this has a negative effect on human sociality and biology. I also am not attracted to the looks of the average woman in this country which isn't their fault. I want to be somewhere with pleasant weather most of the year and at least some fat girls because that's what I like, and so I can eventually find someone with the kind of body type my d!ck really likes (around the 170-180 cm span and fat all over but proportionally a bit bigger hips/ass/legs). You guys would say finding a girl like that should be easy and I'm blessed to have that kind of taste, but ironically it's more of a curse in Sweden.

I eventually want to be a biogerontologist, which is a guy who studies the biological aspect of aging. Conveniently enough I will probably have to relocate abroad like I want to anyway if I'm going to be at the centers for that. Becoming one is going to take me a long time of studying and meanwhile I need something to pay the bills with but which isn't a full time commitment, obviously as then I can't study in the first place on top of going to the gym and doing martial arts.

I'm considering being a reserve soldier but don't know how that would fit with both getting out of Sweden ASAP (don't wanna spend my soldier-training here, but I'm not a citizen anywhere else) and studying, although I really like the idea and thought my brief stay in the military as a teen is one of the best things I've done. I wouldn't mind spending some years training to be a reservist before I start studying at university if I'm at a geographical location I wanted to get to anyway as I outlined earlier. In the end I'm not picky, I just want whatever I do to be a practical option alongside the time commitments I already have.


Do you guys have any advice for me to put it all together?

 

[switch7]

Honestly, finding a part time job that pays enough to cover your living costs and education costs is going to be really hard to find. I guess you could get a student loan. The only thing I can think of that pays well is male escorting... Hey you'd probably get your fair share of fat ladies too lol

Can you honestly see yourself being a biogerontologist for the rest of your life? Is this something you have wanted for a long time? My concern is you are still very young. When I was 23 I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do. I thought I knew what I wanted to do but it turned out later on that I had no idea and wasted a lot of money on a degree I wasn't passionate about. If you have always had your heart set on becoming a biogerontologist and you wake up every day fantasizing of having this job then it shouldn't be hard to find a way to find a way to make it work because you will do everything possible to make it work. But if this isn't really your true passion then you are going to get bored very quickly of working to keep a roof over your head whilst studying full time. So if this isn't what you are truly passionate about then my advice would be to go and travel, explore and discover yourself. You will learn a lot, probably overcome your depression and find your true purpose if it isn't becoming a biogerontologist. No harm in taking another couple years out. Probably meet some fatties on the way too

 

[macallik]

Good to see you are starting a journal AttackFormation. Have you thought about listing your goals and creating a plan to achieve your goals? For example, when it comes to being happier in Sweden your end goal is to move out of the country, but how do you plan to achieve that goal? And how do you know you are moving successfully towards that goal? Are there any things you can do in the short term to improve your quality of life in the slightly dreary atmosphere (yoga, affirmations, positive thinking?)

 

[hanni]

I'd look really hard at finding an Asian MD, engineer, computer whiz, dentist, physicist, etc, as a Wife, man. Serious money can be had that way, and such can be used to build a tremendous amount of credit, which can easily support you, any where you wish to live. Just beware, while she might not divorce you in 5 years, she's not going to keep on paying you $50k (US) per year beyond that time. Many Asian gals are very intent on getting out of the rathole countries in which they live, so getting one to come to Sweden should be easy. Emigrating from Sweden to California should not be hard to do, either, altho it will take years to accomplish.

 

[AttackFormation]

Thank you for the reflections and advice so far guys. I wanted to wait a while before updating because I'm constantly thinking and wanted to give a clear picture.

I've come to the conclusion that right now, my non-frivolous goals in order of succession are:

- Finish up high school within 2016. I feel I now have the motivation, maturity and after I quit my job, time for it.
- Get an IT education that will allow me to work independent of location.
- Move somewhere with a significantly cheaper cost of living than Sweden and with other qualities I like too, such as Brazil, and then work for companies/clients in Sweden or if need be/better opportunity, other rich countries. This will optimise my lifestyle.
- Save up enough money to start studying gerontology without having to work during the school terms. This might mean I will have to temporarily relocate from Brazil/Mexico/etc. if I come to the conclusion that the education I want there is lacklustre or unavailable, but hopefully I can stay.

My frivolous goals are:

- Keep up my solid habit of going to the gym and martial arts, despite studying like a work ox.
- Get more sexual experience.
- Find a girl in the country I relocate to who I like both mentally (not stupid, not irreparably feminist) and physically (tall, fat, pretty, doesn't have a small, flat ass or narrow hips)

In 5 years I am:

- In Brazil, enjoying the country's benefits over mine. I work in IT for Swedish or other rich clients. Because my salary is disproportionately higher than my cost of living, I can enjoy life more and have more freedom than if I was still in the 1st world. I've gone to the gym for many years and am a great martial artist. I speak fluent Portuguese and can at least hold conversations in Spanish. I've fvcked enough girls to satisfy myself, and/or found a girl I want to be with who wants to be with me. The path to my next education and continuation of my goals is open. I am walking to a cliff by the sea. When I reach the end, I notice I have defeated the urge to jump off it. I am basking on it instead. I reminisce back on my life, proud of where I took myself in spite of my circumstances. I look up at the sky and see life looking back, smiling with pride of me. I nod, recognizing that it knew I would make it, and it nods back.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

- Find a girl in the country I relocate to who I like both mentally (not stupid, not irreparably feminist) and physically (tall, pretty, fat, doesn't have a small, flat ass or narrow hips)

I read "pretty fat" and I was like wtf lol. I like your goals AttackFormation, it's encouraging to see someone who has clear what he wants to do. Also I don't think your frivolous goals are frivolous, they are important for your body and mind's well being.

 

[AttackFormation]

I read "pretty fat" and I was like wtf lol. I like your goals AttackFormation, it's encouraging to see someone who has clear what he wants to do. Also I don't think your frivolous goals are frivolous, they are important for your body and mind's well being.

lol, I was thinking people would get confused by that while I wrote it, haha I'll change it... Glad you like them. By frivolous I mean if I don't accomplish the major ones I won't succeed anyway but if I do I'm set. I need to set my mind to focus first on what I know will make my life what I want it to be.