Pitfalls of Having Her Over for Dinner At Your Place

[Mister Big]

I've read that cooking dinner at your place is a great date. It's also a time saver because you can get done chores in the background and it saves you driving time. I love to cook, but there are some negative consequences.

I had one recent HB stalk me after I nexted her. Because she knows where I live, she stopped by and left a note on my door. This wasn't cool as I had another woman stopping by that day. Its just creepy.

From now on, I am only sharing my home address with the more stable and professional women I date. I don't need the drama queen scenes. Women can be more obsessive than men because they are more emotional at times and not used to rejection. Watch out!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mister Big
...From now on, I am only sharing my home address with the more stable and professional women I date. I don't need the drama queen scenes. Women can be more obsessive than men because they are more emotional at times and not used to rejection. Watch out!

Only sharing your address, telephone number, place of work or anything of a personal matter should only be shared with stable women. Letting a woman into your lair should only be done when they have proved themselves to be worth your time and special effort. I would never consider inviting a woman over unless I have decided that she is worth keeping around.

Another thing to consider is that you need to manage a woman's expectation. This woman was stalking you for a reason, lack of management. Keeping her grounded and not dreaming of grandiose expectations will help keep them from doing irrational things.

 

[Mister Big]

Re: Re: Pitfalls of Having Her Over for Dinner At Your Place

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Another thing to consider is that you need to manage a woman's expectation. This woman was stalking you for a reason, lack of management. Keeping her grounded and not dreaming of grandiose expectations will help keep them from doing irrational things.

Good stuff. Please describe your process for management of their expectations in general.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: Re: Pitfalls of Having Her Over for Dinner At Your Place

Originally posted by Mister Big
Good stuff. Please describe your process for management of their expectations in general.

For me the easiest was is NOT being readily available for them. If you are seeing multiple women this is very easy.

Between work, school and being an avid cyclist, I only have a limited amount of time available so when I have free time I schedule it with whomever is available at the time. I tell women to call me ahead of time if they'd like to get together and I tell them not to just drop by my house because they it would be a waste of time since I am seldom home.

What this does is condition them that if they would want to spend time with me, call first. If I'm free, I'm more than willing to spend time with them. The key however, is to always fulfill your obligations. You would always need to see them call them whenever you say that you will. This keeps YOU in the drivers seat for communications so they will never feel the need to just 'drop in.'

 

[NewMan]

I had one recent HB stalk me after I nexted her. Because she knows where I live, she stopped by and left a note on my door.

If she really is a stalker then you need to better select your woman..... But should this happen you should just rip the b#tch a new a##hole (verbally of course) and then be done with it.

If you've a woman there - be cool - tell her that she's been hasseling you ever since you went on one date....

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by NewMan
If she really is a stalker then you need to better select your woman.....

She was my first match date. Before building up more options, she was relatively attractive and seemed ok. Showing her where I lived was a big mistake.

Originally posted by NewMan
If you've a woman there - be cool - tell her that she's been hasseling you ever since you went on one date....

I hope I never need to pull this out in practice.

 

[Ricky]

You know what I've had a stalker off the internet too. Thank goodness she didn't know where I lived. I just got sick of the 5 calls a day from her though.

Right now I like my apartment itself but the complex is being remodeled and it is dusty and nasty. So when I start meeting some new girls in this town it will be strictly there place only.

There are some real advantages towards going to her place the majority of the time.

 

[Julian]

take the long way to your place to confuse them. most of the time these dumbass psycho trolls dont know where the hell they are half the time anyway.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by Julian
take the long way to your place to confuse them. most of the time these dumbass psycho trolls dont know where the hell they are half the time anyway.

ha, ha! :crackup:
Good idea. Next time I drive them to my place, I am going to play the middle eastern taxi driver in NYC and take all kinds of back turns to keep the meter high.

One disadvantage of avoiding my place is I love my bachelor pad. Its almost decorated, good music in the CD player, cool art work, incense, candles, warm colors, and a nice bed that can take a good bouncing. Damn! I am going to qualify big time before I let another HB into the bat cave.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mister Big
ha, ha! :crackup:
Good idea. Next time I drive them to my place, I am going to play the middle eastern taxi driver in NYC and take all kinds of back turns to keep the meter high...

Uh-oh, I had better take this advice because I have a woman coming to visit me for the weekend. She doesn't live close enough for me to pick her up so I will probably tell her to meet me at some coffee shop and then follow me to my place. I'll make sure to take a very circuitous route just to twist her around a bit...

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I'll make sure to take a very circuitous route just to twist her around a bit...

Maybe we should blind fold all of them like batman.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mister Big
Maybe we should blind fold all of them like batman.

OMG, that's a great idea (for me at least)! And I'm sure that this particular woman would go for it! I'm not saying that just any guy could get away with this, but I'm going to figure out a way to do this when I meet up with her on Friday.

Oh yeah "Batman Begins" opens next week!

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Oh yeah "Batman Begins" opens next week!

Batman movies are really DJ training films. I like the "dark knight" style. More mysterious, conflicted, and balanced than just pure alpha male. Very fashionable, intelligent, and super cool. This is the style I seek except I am a bit more fun and a lot less depressed. lol. Some women aren't cool enough to appreciate the distance projected in this approach, but the one's that do are usually sofisticated, interesting, and kinky. Maintaining distance while increasing interest during seduction is a real advantage as evidenced by my other threads lately. Batman is my hero and definitely one bad motherfu#ker who has many layers that a women will never completely peel back them all.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mister Big
Batman movies are really DJ training films. I like the "dark knight" style. More mysterious, conflicted, and balanced than just pure alpha male. Very fashionable, intelligent, and super cool. This is the style I seek except I am a bit more fun and a lot less depressed. lol. Some women aren't cool enough to appreciate the distance projected in this approach, but the one's that do are usually sofisticated, interesting, and kinky. Maintaining distance while increasing interest during seduction is a real advantage as evidenced by my other threads lately. Batman is my hero and definitely one bad motherfu#ker who has many layers that a women will never completely peel back them all.

Very good analysis. I've always liked Batman and I still think that Michael Keaton had the best portrayal of the character. A bit of a brooder however not taking himself, his fame or wealth too seriously. Eclectic in his interests yet focused in his endeavors; definitely good qualities for a DJ.

 

[iveyleeger]

BatMan rules

It is my goal in life to *be* BatMan.

Wealthy, well-connected, and soft-spoken by day, furiously lethal by night. Throw the fabulous party at the mansion, mingle anonymously with the all the pretty people who don't even know who you are, then chill in a backroom with some fascinating woman, until you have to go off and save the world.

Great body. Brilliant mind. Incredible technology. And, of course, a loyal man-servant who also does laundry.

Toss in the occasional roll in the hay with CatWoman, and what else could you possibly want?

Can't wait for the movie . . .

 

[Lost In Translation]

Mister Big

this is gunna sound nuts BUT I PROMISE IT'S TRUE. but only 2 chicks out of all the chicks i have f*<ked have known where i live. and they were both LTR and i regret both of them knowing where i live lol. One of them never even knew where i worked LOL. why ? cause they don't need to know.

all the chicks i have fu<ked have been in the back seat of cars, hotels , motels , on blankets in parks , in tents , in caravans ( trailer parks ) on blankets at the beach , at their parents house , at their house , at their flats , at my friends houses , once in the change rooms at Target, ANYWHERE BUT NOT AT MY HOUSE

and the crazy thing is the 2 i let know where i live both caused me drama and sent dudes to my house !

one dude ran away when i went to get a knife ( he had backup in a car otherwise i would have beaten him with my hands )

the other dude was sent by the second chicks sister without her knowing HE GOT OUT OF JAIL THAT VERY DAY. my screen door was locked. i caught him trying to break through it lol. i opened the door. he said he was looking for FAKE NAME. i said no dude like that lives here. i see this dude at my then gf's house with his brother and he is wearing sunglasses and runs jumps in his car and drives away.

what the f*ck is it with b*tches these days ?

just cause i can't kill people and get away with it everybody gets ****y !

Francisco d'Anconia
Very good analysis. I've always liked Batman and I still think that Michael Keaton had the best portrayal of the character. A bit of a brooder however not taking himself, his fame or wealth too seriously. Eclectic in his interests yet focused in his endeavors; definitely good qualities for a DJ

i agree 100%.

iveyleeger
It is my goal in life to *be* BatMan

lol same !!!


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Mister Big]

The catch 22 is you'll want to invite women over to your place to hang out just because it saves you so much time and money. When you date multiple women, you tend to spread out their locations so you don't bump into them when you are out. I have a radius of over a 100 miles and I can't travel to each one every time. If you want to sleep with several a week, this gets exhausting and expensive just in travel costs. One thing to remember is to throw away condom wrappers from the last chick before you see the next one. Tacky. lol.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mister Big
The catch 22 is you'll want to invite women over to your place to hang out just because it saves you so much time and money. When you date multiple women, you tend to spread out their locations so you don't bump into them when you are out. I have a radius of over a 100 miles and I can't travel to each one every time. If you want to sleep with several a week, this gets exhausting and expensive just in travel costs. One thing to remember is to throw away condom wrappers from the last chick before you see the next one. Tacky. lol.

All of this is good advice. Plus I try not to have women over on the weekend. It's too easy for women to "drop by" when they aren't at work.

Not frequenting the same stomping grounds is another very good idea. Why make things easy for them?

But the best bet is to go out with women that don't feel that you are exclusive (at least not yet). One of the few games that I play which women play is that I tell them that I don't want to rush into a commitment because it wouldn't be fair to either of us. Luckily I still come across women who are cool with enjoying the benefits without having ownership.