Pictures Of Ex's on Facebook

[SamTheHobit]

Facebook = Narcissism:

http://www.alternet.org/media/150339/facebook_linked_to_narcissism

Im glad i deleted facebook.

 

[United4Life]

funny how those bpd chicks have a love/hate black/white thing with you but still want to hang on. or will call you out of the blue after they say they hate you and never want to talk to you again.

bpd's love to play the victim and blame the ex's and keep them around. not saying she is but that is what they do.

any chick who holds on to ex pictures that long on fb or whatever is bad news in my book. they cant let go and have emotional weaknesses. that is very true.

either she isnt over them or wants to go down memory lane every time she looks at them..

most people I know delete them after it is over and dont want to see them.

she is not your gf so you cant say anything. it is also her page and old photos

as long as your the only guy banging her then it shouldnt be a problem.

if you want to teach her a lesson add a pic of you and you ex's on there and see how she likes it but i wouldnt suggest that. would be kinda funny tho.

Hey united...does she have any of the ex's as "facebook friends?" I would check that out to see if she still is in contact with them.

Both of the Ex's are currently on her friend list on FB. Advice?

 

[United4Life]

Don't worry about it! The pictures you're seeing are just the images she was tagged in. In fact you can get an awesome chronoligical order of her life from them.

Other people upload pictures and put them on there. Don't think too much into it.

The pictures of her and her ex's are pictures in HER picture folders. I.E. Not tagged photos. And there are ALOT of them, lol. Rough estimate without counting.......over 100 easy (total from both guys) dating back 4-5 years. She has well over 750 pictures total on her account

 

[United4Life]

Well, if she's incredible, chances are someone else thought so, too, and ended up dating her. You will have to get over the whole petty jealousy thing. If you can't see the difference between a girl having an ex or two (your situation), and a girl still being involved with an ex or two (hopefully will never become your situation), then you shouldn't get into relationships.

My main point is that it's tough to "see this as disrespectful" because it's not. You can't say she's disrespecting you just because she had a life before you came along. It's not like she's sending you links to them and saying "look at this guy who I used to _____." You're looking at these photos - no one is making you.

Don't get me wrong. I agree that the "old photos" issue is something that can bother people a lot, and so personally, as a matter of course, I disable the "Photos of Love Shogun" link on my profile so people can't click through my sh*t. But that's because I'd prefer for them to learn who I am by talking to and interacting with me directly, not by sifting through old photos and judging me for situations that I'd been in that they know nothing about.

It'd be different if she was your wife, and she had these photos physically in your space - meaning they were printed out and hanging up around your walls. But they're not.

And seriously - as if Facebook is an accurate representation of who you are.

Just relax, bud.

Cheers to That!! Best response, Thanks

I haven't brought it up yet, it's just been on my mind. Looking for best approach.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

It's the past. If it were me I would let it slide as you will just come across as a jealous freak.

The main concern is whether she's currently f^cking you on a regular basis and not f^cking anyone else.

View it as your own little stock pile of ammo. You can post pictures with you partying with other girls if you choose to do so. This way she'll get jealous and draw first blood.

 

[AlexDP]

The pictures of her and her ex's are pictures in HER picture folders. I.E. Not tagged photos. And there are ALOT of them, lol. Rough estimate without counting.......over 100 easy (total from both guys) dating back 4-5 years. She has well over 750 pictures total on her account

A lot of pictures and her ex's on her friends list are good signs. Things are far, far worse if she only has two or three pictures of the ex and is trying very hard to mentally block him out of her life. This means she can't handle the feelings she associates with him - she blocks him, but hangs on to the picture?

In your case she probably can. That's why she has so many pictures, she just didn't feel the need to remove them. Perhaps they're just fond memories, but she has no desire to go back. Think about it: if you don't want people to get over you by seeing you with other men, you keep them in the dark as to what is you're doing. If she has them on their friends list on the other hand, they will probably not care all that much about each other.

 

[iqqi]

It is extremely tacky to have pictures up of you with other women (or men if you are a woman) from your past. This is where facebook is a big fail. I deal with this issue by making those photo albums PRIVATE, as should you and anyone who cares about the feelings or impressions made upon a new love interest. You can also block certain people from seeing certain albums, individually.

I have a few pictures, and even an album, with an ex or two in them, because I think they are awesome pictures of me. But I also think it is tacky for another man to see those, so I just keep them to myself. Or make sure he can't see them by blocking him from those albums.

 

[GhostWriter]

Funny, even men on this forum will accuse you of being insecure and jealous when...

the only thing you view it as is disrespect.

Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Keep your frame, I wouldn't like this sh*t either. So now what are your options?

1). Tell her you think It's weird for keeping pictures of her and her ex on FB.

By doing this, you're hoping that she'll compromise or understand
where you're coming from. HA, like that'll ever happen.

2). Ignore and let it go.

A lot of people vote this to be a very minor situation. You should
definitely learn to pick your battles. This particular situation is
your call.

3). Start posting pictures of you and your ex. In fact, start posting pictures of other females as well.

*People may say that this is a petty situation, but It's not so much that she just has pictures of her ex on FB. It's more like an underlying issue. The reason as to why she keeps those pictures on there.

In my last relationship I opted for two, since I deleted my FB a long time ago.

Whichever you decide, don't go with one. I made that mistake and it was an instant attraction killer for sure.

If you go for number three and it doesn't bother her, then you have no choice but to let it go. If she doesn't like it, then you can bargain. I'll take down my pictures if you do the same.

At that point I'd probably say something like... "Nah, go ahead and keep yours, I'll keep mine." LOL

Dumba$$ women.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

It is extremely tacky to have pictures up of you with other women (or men if you are a woman) from your past. This is where facebook is a big fail. I deal with this issue by making those photo albums PRIVATE, as should you and anyone who cares about the feelings or impressions made upon a new love interest. You can also block certain people from seeing certain albums, individually.

I have a few pictures, and even an album, with an ex or two in them, because I think they are awesome pictures of me. But I also think it is tacky for another man to see those, so I just keep them to myself. Or make sure he can't see them by blocking him from those albums.

gotta agree with iqqi on this. great post btw.

there is no need to have pics of an ex in your albums. esp from over 8 months ago or way from the past. the OP says she has tons. not good.

Both of the Ex's are currently on her friend list on FB. Advice?

Let me ask you this...does she have any pics of you and her up there? what about the profile pic?

well you know she has the old pics and still has them as friends. not good

she can see the pics whenever she wants. she can contact them whenever she wants.

seems she cant let go of them either way

just go about your business and see if she is still writing on their pages.

if she is serious about you then she shouldnt.

but be careful if you get into an actual relationship with her ex's still around.

i was seeing a couple chicks earlier this year. nothing serious. few dates and some hook ups. they both kept pics of the ex's. one went back to him and the other still hooks up with him. wasn't serious with them but if I was that would of sucked. same thing happened to my friend. 3 1/2 months relationship she dumped him for the ex because she needed him. all had pics of the ex's.

not saying this will happen to you but beware of it.

she still has strong emotional attachment with all the pics and them as friends.

another thing you should think about....

If those ex's were so bad and cheated on her and dumped her with out notice. why would she want to have their pics all in her albums to remember them? why would she want them still as friends? you think she would want to forget right? not remember them. you would think she would delete the pics and them as friends because they were so bad. thats what most chicks would do.....just something to think about.

she still has strong emotional attachment to them after all they did to her...not good....something you should think about.

 

[AlexDP]

gotta agree with iqqi on this. great post btw.

there is no need to have pics of an ex in your albums. esp from over 8 months ago or way from the past. the OP says she has tons. not good.




Let me ask you this...does she have any pics of you and her up there? what about the profile pic?

well you know she has the old pics and still has them as friends. not good

she can see the pics whenever she wants. she can contact them whenever she wants.

seems she cant let go of them either way

just go about your business and see if she is still writing on their pages.

if she is serious about you then she shouldnt.

but be careful if you get into an actual relationship with her ex's still around.

i was seeing a couple chicks earlier this year. nothing serious. few dates and some hook ups. they both kept pics of the ex's. one went back to him and the other still hooks up with him. wasn't serious with them but if I was that would of sucked. same thing happened to my friend. 3 1/2 months relationship she dumped him for the ex because she needed him. all had pics of the ex's.

not saying this will happen to you but beware of it.

she still has strong emotional attachment with all the pics and them as friends.

another thing you should think about....

If those ex's were so bad and cheated on her and dumped her with out notice. why would she want to have their pics all in her albums to remember them? why would she want them still as friends? you think she would want to forget right? not remember them. you would think she would delete the pics and them as friends because they were so bad. thats what most chicks would do.....just something to think about.

she still has strong emotional attachment to them after all they did to her...not good....something you should think about.

If she still has them as FB friends it's very easy to see if there is a strong emotional attachment. See if they write on each other's walls and see if the girl is trying to make her ex's jealous. If something looks like it might be intended for an ex, it is.

Usually them being friends on FB is a good sign though. In any case it makes the job of the OP very easy. If there is an emotional connection she will interact by making them jealous.

 

[st_99]

Try not to call her "incredible" just yet. You're setting yourself up for big disappointment because your expectations will not be met using words like that.

Anyway, is she the type that is really good socially? Big personality? Uses a lot of Kino? A bit nutty? Different? Just wondering..

 

[KarmaSutra]

Facebook = Narcissism

Absolute bullsh!t.

This is the same exact minimalist, slack-jawed thinking people led on leashes want to believe to make themselves feel better that they're miserably unhappy he-b!tches.

You can fill a jet full of fuel and fly it to Cancun or into a building full of people.

It's a tool dependent on how one wishes to use it. Nothing more.

 

[49au]

^^^

+1000

FB can be a POWERFUL tool for displaying any or all: a) pre-selection b) intelligence c) social value

Yeah, I could sit there and tell a woman about all the cool beautiful girls I've partied with (which would be disastrous), or she could just see them on some old album on my FB and realize it for herself.

I can tell a woman I'm adventurous (and hope she believes me). But if she sees album after album of me in foreign countries or doing otherwise fun things, she realizes it for herself.

These things are on my FB and they do have an effect.

 

[Ease]

You only view it as disrespect because you are jealous. Those pics have been up for 4-5 years, you have been dating for 1? year. She didn't put them up for a reaction from you, you found them and are creating a reaction.

You say twice as good as these guys and you could out-compete them, yet you are still getting insecure and sweating.

Now you could make a fuss over this and get some sort of success, she would think less of you, you would lose your edge a little in the relationship- but that's not the big problem.

The big problem is that if you can handle this, then there will be a lot more that you will not be able to handle. Some ex-boyfriends that are inferior to you. What will happen when a guy better than you starts moving in? It is your job to secretly ward off other guys that could potentially be a threat to your position verbally and physically, not get jealous over non-existant threats. Your showing incapability in protecting your position AND keeping her interested.