Phone call from an ex

[Davo]

Hi

I have a question to ask...Ive been been going out with this girl for 2 years and couldn't be happier she was the love of my life and we were both in love so much,about 5 months ago she started acting weird...then everything went down hill and i said lets have a break and she said yeh...i said do u want to break up with me and she said yeh.I was heartbroken to hear this,she wrote me a letter that made no sence at all.Two weeks later i saw her with another guy all over her...now my reaction was that she cheeted on me and it all made sence to me now.We were spose to meet up later as friends for coffee ,and she just rubbed it in my face about the other guy,that was it, i never wanted to speak to her again,i had feelings for her but somehow i felt like i no longer new her.Now 5 months later she rang me up crying saying she wants to kill herself and is in love with me still and she thinks about me every day...she said she wanted to meet up with me.I agreed to meet up with her,at first i gave her no sympathy, after all she broke my heart.Then she put her arms around me and tyied to kiss me and stuff.I Guess im still abit inlove with this girl and even though she told me she has been seeing other guys but not at the moment,i just could't help myself falling for her again.I know what you are going to say Wuss...i know.Then we got it on and she invited me inside her house and we sleped together.I spent the whole night and next day with her as if we were together again as a couple.When it was time to say goodbye i said am i ever going to see you again,she said do you want to see me.I said i guess so,she said call me...i said no im not going to call you,your the one that has to call me and that was it.

Now what i want to ask is, what do you make of this? She has been taking speed and ecstacy a few times and i think she is abit of a mess, she found out seeing these other guys didn't make her happy at all. I really don't know what her intentions are? Does she want me back or was it that she was that low and depressed and she just needed her self esteem boosted? I know everyone will think im mad but i really want to get back with this girl.Now she rang me up the other day and we went to the beach today...again it was like we were a couple again ,both of us couldn't get enough of each other.She has said some nasty things like ....i said isn't it nice here at the beach its, just like when we were on out holidays and she said( yeh whatever).Also when we went to the shops and i wanted to look at a watch ,she said (looking for a ring for your next girlfriend are you)...what is with this im so confused and have no idea what is going on here...i can't play it by ear...we have now spent 2 days together and even sleped with eachother...what does everyone reckon she wants...On the fone before the 2nd time we meet up again,i said i think i know what you want and she said (i don't want anything,i just want to have fun) well seams after today ,she might want me and we have organised spending next Saturday night together.What do u reckon she wants with me .... any ideas?

i have seen my ex now a few times again since and been getting very mixed signals.I couldn't take it any longer and just came out with it and said that i stilled loved her and wanted her back,she acted like she had no idea and she said you don't want me back,i said i did.She started crying and said why do all guys all want to be more then friends with me.She said she just wanted to be my best friend now....but we are doing all the things lovers do...well i said is there a chance we could ever get back together again in the future and she said yes.What should i do...im in no real rush to find someone new and would do anything to have her back,but somehow i do feel like im a safety blanket and as much as i would like to spent time with her,its time i could be looking for someone else.Now ive been spending the last 4 weekends with her and she rings me and sometimes we go out for a coffee during the week,we kiss and do everything couples would do,ive met her mum again,sometimes my ex acts a little cold to me.What have people done in this situation...im prepared to give her 3 months to come to her sences.She told me she didn't want a b/f ....i said ,u don't want to be my g/f atm but im sure if a cute guy came along and you liked him ,then you would go out with him and she said thats not the case,do people think im crazy waiting and if a girl acts like this to me after 2 yrs together with 5 months break,seams like she is in no real rush to have me back.She is quite happy about the idea of me getting a new g/f ,i said im not interested and want her back.Guess i'll play the waiting game for now.Atleast she rings me and wants to spend every weekend with me that has to be a good sign...just don't know if i should always be available for her or not see her as much so she can miss me,basicially we see each other on the weekends and not alot during the week,hope that way she will miss me more.Any ideas?

p.s sorry there is so much to read

 

[Cremasta]

Davo,

everything here is not good.

You were together and happy
She wanted to play around and left you in the lurch
She is on drugs
She's back in the picture and wants to be your best friend

There is a lot of information here on the site on what is best for you... do a search, but I'll boil it down to the bare essentials for you. Brief, but it's too late here for me to write a full psychoanalysis

1. Stop seeing this girl all the time, stop being so available to her - you are wasting valuable time when you could be out getting another girl.
2. Get another girl
3. Hang out with mates (and by that I mean guys... the ones you used to play football with in school), stop being this girls best friend.
4. Stop playing the waiting game and do NOT give her 3 months.
5. Get out, have a life and have fun.

 

[car501]

My advice...stay away. I went through almost the exact same thing. TWICE with the same girl. When the third time came around, I had nothing to do with her.A week ago her best friend came to me and told me that I was her 'Mr Right' and she should have never let me go. Oh well, maybe shes learned a lesson for her next 'Mr Right'. I would stay away from this chick, it will only cause you stress. Put your emotions and actions into something productive, a new girl.Good Luck !

 

[Desdinova]

All she's going to do is latch onto you until something better comes along, just like the last time. You're setting yourself up to be dropped back on your ass.

You're best off to cut all contact with her. If you don't, you stand to go through the exact same bull5hit as before.

 

[flexion_]

Well here is my take on this...

Either date her or stop contact with her. Friends isn't an option - make that clear to her and let her decide.

The more time you spend with her as a friend the more things will get screwed up.

 

[NewMan]

The problem with this is he's to emotionally involved.

if you can cut the emotions then you would be fine.

You see your putting so much pressure on the situation.

Telling her you still love her etc. etc. Wanting to "get back with her".

Didn't you learn anything from this board?

She has all the power and influence over you....

You've got to step back and check your emotions. If you can't handle this - then admit it to yourself and cut it off.

otherwise, just have fun. Fvck her. hang with her.

In the meantime get yourself another piece of a##. If only to entertain you every now and again.

 

[cave dweller]

dump.......

Hey,

Get rid of her. (she will only cause you pain)
Dump her and go find another.
She has 'snakes' in her head.

cave dweller

 

[omizzi]

Find something that entertains you. Girls love SALSA, take salsa lessons. Become the salsa master and take over the clubs.

 

[DrSoSuave]

Like many others who have suffered from exgirlfriends who used them for sexual fun or pseudo-part-time relationship, an exgirlfriend is an ex for a reason.

the reason why a lot of guys tell you it's better to start with someone new is not only that you probably won't repeat the same mistakes before, but you are dealing with someone who has a different personality that could work with your own rather than your ex's.

so when you go back to your ex. both of you familiarized with each other so it's very easy to be back together. then reality hits, all those awful times you've both had with each other rise up and she is on you like a hound, throwing bitter comments or acting pessmistic around you (which is what i see now.)

as the saying goes, you want to be with people who are happy or at least want to enjoy life. why be with someone that's going to say "yeah whatever" at a beautiful beach.. the proper response for a girl is to either agree, say something funny, or give you a hug.

oh and your post says she cries constantly in emotional situations. hmmm, seems a bit like a drama queen. this situation seems difficult to get out of it, try to see other women if possible. always have a backup plan for another woman if you are this woman's back up plan (which you are of course.)

 

[DeathDealer]

Next her.

 

[Royal Elite]

Homey your girl is a hor, and as the saying goes "you cant turn a hor into a house wife". She is messed up in the head and there is nothing you can do to change that.

But what makes this situation so bad is that you are acting like a dog on a lease and you know she is a hor. And whats worse is she knows that you know she is a hor, so why would she ever changed. she gets her cake and eat it too, a soft, substitute for a man to cry on and get some attention whenever she wants and the freedom to go out and bang real men whenever she pleases.