Pet names seem unnatural

[Oscar Wilde]

I've always had a problem calling girls things like honey, sweetie, sweetheart, princess, babe, sugar or whatever pet names people use. You can probably tell that just by the dodgy ones I've mentioned above.

I find it real hard to use them & I'd like to improve. Do I just start calling this girl I've been dating a little "honey" all of a sudden? Or is it only when I've been going out with her as bf/gf? When and how? What are the rules? And what other names do you guys use? Girls, what do you like?

Please help cos I am crap in this area!
Oscar.

 

[tamales]

Well sweetie,

I say if it comes unatural to you then it will come off unatural. And women don't always like that. My former bf used to call me pumkinhead. Made me laugh but then he was a really funny guy. The other name he used was lumpy.... this was after a small lump on my leg that for about a month the docs thought was cancer.. Very scary and thank god it was benign. I hated that term at first. Especially, when we went out in public and he used if. Imagine calling across the bar, hey lumpy. He definately scored in not letting any other men wanting to hit on me. LOL! But he could pull if off and often I think of him and the way he used to make me laugh and call me unusual pet names. He had a dozen. Won't post them all but funny. Now I call him Houdini. Just to friends of course. Long story but very appropriate.

My former DJ who is Latin used Mami and wanted me to use Papi. I am not latin and at first this really turned me off but then I sort of liked it. ANd sweetie he used all the time.

BUt the truth is, you don't need to use those names. Only again, if it comes naturally or over time you do develop a pet name. If it doesn't feel right don't worry. A DJ doesn't have to use pet names to get down a girls pants.

ANd personally, I have never liked using pet names for my men. Just seems silly and unatural for me. Depends and also on the length of time and culture you are from. I mean if a man at a bar said "hey, sweetie.. " Yuck.

JMO

okay, sweat pea

 

[LouieVaton Don]

Hey me too. Im not real good with personalized pet names either, it just doesnt come out right. Personally I don't think you should even worry yourself about it.

 

[FlyGuy]

You don't need to use that stuff, but if you want to then start using one of them as a joke to get used to it. The more you use it the more natural it will be.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Interesting.

It comes off unnatural to me yes.

But then again aybe I can learn! I'm a good engineer and I am applying all the knowledge I've learned here

I don't like the "mamma - poppa" one which a couple I know use.

Lumpy? Interesting...

I do use "gorgeous" and "sexy", but only to girls who are those things, and usually only girls I'm not trying it on with (yes, a strange thing).

Might try sweetie....

Thanks babe

 

[Bungo Pony]

I agree with Tamales. If it doesn't come out naturally, it's not worth using. Giving women pet names should REFLECT your personality, not hers. However, pet names may DESCRIBE her personality. Big difference.

I don't really have a pet name for my fiance. I use "my dear", but it comes out naturally. I've used it on many different women. I don't really take notice when I use it.

 

[Reto]

I agree with Tamales.

Fly guy has a good point (as well as Tamales). It needs to be something personal. Just between the two of you. Something that 's funny. Like a personal joke.

Hey lumpy, how the heck did your BF come up with pumpkinhead? Gotta be the teeth...

 

[Unregistered]

Now I call him Houdini. Just to friends of course. Long story but very appropriate.

Was he good at making that sausage disappear?

 

[Oxide]

i dont think u should use anything. may be throw a couple sexy's or baby around. but nothing too much.

 

[GirlCrazy]

I call any girl I like hun, honey, sweets, sweetie, cutie, dear, snookems, babe, cutie pie, sista girl, girly girl, baby doll, girlfriend, baby cakes, snuggle buns, hot stuff, and about a dozen others I can't think of right off hand.

It just comes out naturally. Most of my friends are women and they do the same. I would never call a woman I don't know any of those things, and agree that women would find total strangers calling them names like that a turn off. I also feel uncomfortable when women I have never spoken to (and thus have no rapport with) call me that was well.

To me it's an unspoken rule that you only use pet names with people that you have some kind of rapport with. It is also a show of confidence. Calling a woman I like hun says: "I like you and as far as I can tell it's mutual". If you are tentative about it, or if it sounds unnatural *buzzer* you lose. If you have to stop and think about whether it's appropriate, don't do it. Also, you probabaly shouldn't use those names in the workplace unless it's with a woman that is your close friend, for obvious reasons.

I also use pet names with men I have a rapport with. Being a fan of the jerky boys, I tend to call my guy friends, liverlips, flatfoot, rubberneck, sizzlechest, fruityazz, jerky, flapjack, moosehead and a few others.

As far as intimate pet names, most are between two people and have something to do with physical traits that are only known in bed, or some inside joke. Of course there are the standard ones like my darling, lover, love, my love, and so forth. The really good ones (like lumpy *wink* tamales) only come over time, and should cause her to giggle or snicker at the very least.