Perils of Flying Solo, or Am I Just Being Paranoid?

[allan976]

My wings for this weekend bailed. I feel extremely uncomfortable heading out to venues such as bars and clubs while flying solo. In fact, when I headed out the other night to a bar and arrived there well before my friend did, I felt terribly uncomfortable, even though I was meeting up with a friend! I looked around and there were a few individuals out alone, but most were in groups. This is a phobia I need to get over.

I'd like to see FR's from people, especially from big cities such as Los Angeles, who head out solo on weekends, and how you handle this (it seems like nobody goes out solo in Los Angeles). Am I just being paranoid? I feel like I'll look like a loser if I head out by myself since I see so few others doing it.

 

[BrotherAP]

Hang outside a club, and open a group of girls before they go in. Get their names, fluff for a minute or two, and suggest you head inside. You will show up with a troop of ladies, have no problem getting in fast, and look like the exact opposite of a loser.

 

[scordate]

well i know how you feel

i believe its a matter of training

but the worst part is that when you feel
that way when you are out alone, your body signals will illuminate with the wrong messages

so you gotta set your mind straight together with some psysical stuff;

1. dont remain for long at one place; mingle
2. have a constant grin / smile on your face as if you just heard a good joke
3. say a casual 'hi' to whoever looks at you, but keep walking or let them walk
( sure you dont know them - but they are not 100 % sure whether they oughta know you or not ! )
If this leads to more talk; fine but just let it be casual.
4. why are you there ? well you were supposed to meet friends, and it was either here or at the next bar, but hey, your friends know how to find you
( always be secure and not-needing // you friends should be looking for you - not you looking for your friends )

be on the move all the time; people will only see you part of the time. to people in one part of the room, you could be woth friends in the other part of the room, huh ?

worst thing is to choose a chair and remain there unless you clearly are just there to watch people, fx. at a outdoor café; remember to bring a book / not newspaper/magazine

a book gives you a relaxed look and will give girls the opputunity to remark; i read that its good or ask what you think of it

and remember other people cant know whether you are out alone or not if you dont show them !

/ scordate

 

[milesman]

I'm in Atlanta so the culture may be different then where you're at but if I'm alone I find it really easy to just start shootin the sh*t with other guys at the club. Most of us are there for the same reason and everybody wants to look like they have lots of friends there. So before you know it, you've got your own little clique to posture with as you eye up gals. You can then run all the bs "I've gotta go meet my friends I'll come dance with you later blah blah" and actually have a group to go to rather than just walking to one corner of the place, doing an about face and feeling like a schmuck. Because you know they're watching

 

[LJC]

Originally posted by scordate
4. why are you there ? well you were supposed to meet friends, and it was either here or at the next bar, but hey, your friends know how to find you
( always be secure and not-needing // you friends should be looking for you - not you looking for your friends )

/ scordate

First off, in the age of cell phones, not knowing where your friends are is a weak excuse. Your phone better ring if you use that one.

Second, if you're in a bar and friends know how to find you....well....how good does that sound?

I have absolutely no quelms about saying straight out that I'm not going to sit at home alone even if my friends are lame for the night.

When I'm out solo, I can tell within 10-15 minutes if a place has a social enough atmosphere to strike up convo with anyone that happens to be nearby, and when I do, not only does everyone fail to see I'm alone, but I forget I'm alone myself. If the place doesn't seem to have as much social opportunity as I would like, I just move on to another place. Either way, if I'm not socializing, all people see is me having one drink and going on my way.