Performance Anxiety and Erection

[d.k.kong]

Hey Guys,

I got naked with this woman im dating, but I had some erectile difficulties. I really wanted it to go well that night so performance anxiety was the cause.

This has happened before, but i usally made it ok b/c i love giving oral sex, back massages, and other things.

This woman was frustrated b/c she says only intercourse satisfies her, so she really didnt enjoy the oral or anything.

Two questions:

1. In case this happens again, how would you handle it, since she doesn't climax from non intercouse activities

2. What has been helpful for you to deal with sexual performance anxiety.

Thank you so much. This has been bothering me all weekend.

 

[Luveno]

Certain women are very selfish, and the one you're describing sounds like she fits the bill.

If this girl hates oral, hates everything that could turn you on, and yet demands that you make her climax from intercourse, she is not making sex an enjoyable experience for you. Instead, it is making you anxious, which in turn makes you completely limp.

My suggestion is to get another girl who is more adventurous. Sex should be relaxing and a time to learn new ways of pleasure. It should not be a one way street.

Get a new girl.

 

[ElChoclo]

If you've got dysfunction she should be blowing you not the other way round. Too much massage could make you lose interest. Again I think she should massage you.

 

[john_1234]

you're not alone bro. this has happened to me b4 too. this is definitely something i don't chat w/ my friends over some beers you know. i just say something like, "i'm just really tired" while coming across like it doesn't phase me. an alcohol buzz helped me get over it.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Luveno
Certain women are very selfish, and the one you're describing sounds like she fits the bill.

If this girl hates oral, hates everything that could turn you on, and yet demands that you make her climax from intercourse, she is not making sex an enjoyable experience for you. Instead, it is making you anxious, which in turn makes you completely limp.

My suggestion is to get another girl who is more adventurous. Sex should be relaxing and a time to learn new ways of pleasure. It should not be a one way street.

Get a new girl.

Bingo!

This woman doesnt like sucking d!ck? too bad thats her problem. In the meantime find someone else whos not a waste of space.

Your looking for ways to reward this cvnts bad behaviour, instead try waking up to yourself and get your priorities straight.

 

[KarmaSutra]

This may ease your worries:

Although erectile dysfunction, formerly called impotence, is more common in men older than 65, it can occur at any age. An occasional episode of erectile dysfunction happens to most men and isnormal. As men age, it's also normal to experience changes in erectile function. Erections may take longer to develop, may not be as rigid or may require more direct stimulation to be achieved.

I've had bouts with ED but I've also found that both medicinal and holistic approaches keep this demon outside of my circle. Viagra and Levitra (my fav) help with blood flow to the penis while taking a natural view via better eating habits and physical maintenance have helped with every aspect of my life in and out of the bedroom. I've also taken up yoga in the early morning which has helped to clarify my inner vision and mental focus which, in turn, fuels my stamina.

Men may also notice that orgasms are less intense, the volume of ejaculate is reduced and recovery time increases between erections.

I've been cycling a volumizing supplement Nitrix for 10 days now and I've noticed an interesting side effect. That being the amount of ejaculate I produce has literally doubled. Nowhere in the literature does the company who makes Nitrix mention this but I've had more than one comment from two women with whom I'm currently intimate with regarding this. One is a trooper and continues to try and swallow (gotta love the competitive nature of women!) the other has put up a white flag of surrender.


My point to this is that you're not alone and there are remedies for this if you're willing to dedicate yourself to fixing the problem and not the symptom.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by KarmaSutra

My point to this is that you're not alone and there are remedies for this if you're willing to dedicate yourself to fixing the problem and not the symptom.

All good advice Karma but lets hope he trys all that AFTER he nexts this chick. Hopefully he wont need it if and when he finds one who actually wants to suck his d!ck and give him some pleasure.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
Hopefully he wont need it if and when he finds one who actually wants to suck his d!ck and give him some pleasure.

THIS is the reason I love Mr. T!ts!

 

[STR8UP]

You might want to try Gingko Biloba. It's an herb that is supposed to increase circulation.

I started using it after I went on Zoloft for anxiety. The Zoloft worked like a charm, but left me with basically zero sex drive, a semi-limp pee pee, and problems getting to orgasm.

After a week or two of taking this stuff I had two or three days where I wanted to fukk everything in sight. Never felt a sex drive that powerful before! After that it evened out and now I am still not 100% back to normal, although I can get it up without much of a problem now. The sex drive is down a little and it takes a while to orgasm, but hey, who couldn't use a little extra stamina? Most chicks appreciate a guy who can go the distance.

 

[d.k.kong]

Thanks for the replies.

I think that she would have been up for giving a blow job, but without me being hard, it just wasn't possible.

She really didn't do very much to turn me on or help me feel better about not being erect. I figured that since she was only 23, she probably didn't know very much about how to be sexual besides plain intercourse. Thats the beauty of being with a MILF !!!

Anyway, do you think its normal for a younger woman to just lie there, and expect the man to basically do everythig (cunninglingus, g-spot etc)

and is it normal for a woman that young to be surprised by someone not having an erection?

 

[Vulpine]

Young'ns got no idea how good sex can be. And, since young guys typically have no idea what they're doing, "I only get off from intercourse" is a pretty typical misconception that young women get. Truth is, there are only some ultra-small percentage (like less than 10%) of women who can only get off from intercourse. Women are raised to think masturbation is dirty, so they avoid it. It's too bad because a woman needs to "get in touch" with herself (and her cl!t) before she can start having the 20 minute orgasms. So, what I'm saying is that women need to "learn" how to have an orgasm. Now, what I've been noticing more and more is that women are becoming dependant on their toys. Vibrators, dilld0s, you name it... most have a whole box of "toys" that they use to get off.

check it out:
I'm bangin' a 20 year old, and it's the exact same situation. She lays there "do me" style, and isn't much for reciprocation. I've actually had some ED too. But, that was because she was straight turning me off with her lack of effort. So I've been treating her like a recepticle and she enjoys it, so, go figure. She wasn't responding to any external stimulation at all. I asked her: "When you masturbate, do you use a vibrator?" When she said "Yes." I made her show it to me. She whipped out one of those crazy ones that spins and has the external kung-fu buzzer that has like 7 buzz modes. I asked her: "Can you get off just using your fingers?" She replied, "No." To which I replied: " THEN HOW THE FUX DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE TO EVER GET YOU OFF?"

You might be in the same struggle kong, in which case NEXT her. There is no begging a chick to learn how to have an orgasm - they don't listen. They think "whatever buddy - my vibromaster gets me off fine" and ignore you. Don't try to fix her, next her.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Originally posted by Vulpine
Don't try to fix her, next her.

I concur. If she's lying there, cold fish style, You need to do yourself a favor and be rid of the selfish broad. If she's this worthless in bed how can she have any redeeming quality outside of it?

Take your sac back and steel toe her a$$ back to Kentucky.

 

[boulepiquante]

a thing that helped me as i couldn t get it up
I STARTED TELLING A SEXY STORY TO THE HOTTY and that worked like magic
it went like this
' the other i was on the train
there was this young businesswoman who looked very much like you !!!
she kept crossing and uncrossing her legs unconsciously but provocatively
there was me who got all excited ////
..........
etc etc

believe me THAT S ALSO A SEX TECHNIQUE AND IT WORKS
the women also think you re very INNOVATIVE and you r such an experienced lover !!!!!!!!

 

[speedo_meme]

D@mn I'm glad my gf is a freak....