People (Usually AFCs) who take an instant disliking to you...

[Don Juanabbe]

Ok, Question for you guys. This happens to me every now and then. Now, usually, I get along with people very well and can easily charm them, and I have alot of friends, many of them for over 15 years.

So I know it can't be me. But do you ever come across the odd person who takes an instant disliking, almost a loathing to you?

This usually happens with guys. But I've had a couple that outright refused to even acknowledge, or talk to me, despite the fact that I know all of thier friends etc.

The latest one was this older dude, in his forties, who hung loosely around with a group of people I know. He's a little ragged, never really held down a job, and is a big druggie, but, he's incredibly rich, inherited millions. Stinking rich.

This dude took a complete disliking to me instantly, like others have in the past, WITHOUT HAVING EVER SPOKEN TO ME, NOT EVEN ONCE.

And you know what? He refused to talk to me, give me a chance to get to know him. Nothing. Stone faced everytime I talked to him.

Later on I find out, rather unsurprisingly, that he hates my guts.

So what are the factors behind someone completely hating your guts for no reason, ever had that?

Of course, it's likely envy, but this guy went out of his way to treat me like crap.

Any stories?

I just find it interesting, personally, I figured it out later when someone suggested he didn't like all the attention that I got from the ladies in the group.....

That's the reason some AFCs make me completely sick.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Don't let another's insecurity create your own.

 

[DJDamage]

In Social Gathering all people want the spot light to shine on them the most. If a person takes their spot light and people warm up to him quickly, the other person might be left out in the cold.

It is often jealousy that causes people to hate others. Other factors could include that you give out a bad vibe towards him on unconscious level (we all met in our life someone like that or been that person ourselves, even before he opens his mouth we decide to ignore him or hate him, it could be a primitive evolutionary instinct telling us not to trust this stranger for a good reason) As long as your close friends and most of others don't have a problem with you, you shouldn't give a damn - you didn't do anything wrong. Let the haters wallow in their own misery.

 

[Mister Big]

I have had this happen to me socially and at work from time to time. I interview well and have always been given props for my first impression. However, before I even introduce myself, I can sometimes feel a real negative vibe from someone. Because AFCs (men without confidence and game) are very insecure and cluster together, they can be just as catty as a bunch of b%t#hes.

We all have weaknesses, but many AFCs overanalyze those of the DJ to make themselves feel better. Similarly, women do this all the time to each other. I work in a highly technical industry with many AFCs and social invalids. The sometimes form subcultures: short men, fat men, older and never date women men, etc. These men are so far from the DJ ideal that I am considering switching my job so they don't rub off on me.

Sometimes I try to diffuse this negativity by influencing the person using standard psychology with respect to communication. You might just look like someone else and the person projects negative history onto you. The best approach is to ignore this behavior and focus on more positive energy and responses from someone else. The problem is with the individual and doesn't need to be resolved except in extreme cases. Trying to figure out the motivation of their negativity just plays into their drama, so don't do this. Take the path of positivity and avoid interacting with these losers and you will be happier.

 

[Leporello]

That happened to me, with a guy who was in my karate class.

There were a number of reasons. He's a Republican, and I'm a Democrat. We're both very active in politics, and so find ourselves on the opposite sides of things in a public way. More importantly, it was because I always hung out with his gf, who was very affectionate to me and would stop by my room at random times. His combination of conservativism and virginity (contrasted with my leftism and experience) made him EXTREMELY paranoid and possessive, going so far as to call his gf at random times when he thought she was with me.

I thought it was kinda funny, actually.

 

[diceman]

hey man. This stuff happens occasionally. You can't possibly expect everyone to like you.

There have been a few people who i've met who've taken an instant disliking to me, unfortunatly this is more common with females, but you know, this stuff happens.

Are you honestly saying that you've never met someone who you've instantly disliked?

It's nothing to worry about.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don Juan-a-be - change your name to "Don Juan' already - you are beyond wanting "to be" - your experiences have made you knowledgeable of the realities that are!!!

You know the truth!!! And the truth is not in want!!! (wannabe)

Graduate from "to be" status to "I am"!!

Men don't base their "manly status" on other men's "perceptions" - you are who you are and are"THE" master of your existence!!!

Stick with truth and that which is just - truth and justice are your masters - not a man's or any man's perception!!!

Follow the universal and everlasting and not the temporal!!!

A man existence is temporary!!! Do not follow men!!!

Truth is forever!!!

Follow the Puerto Rican rabbit!!