PEOPLE TEASING YOU--How to deal with it?

[otr4]

Hey everyone,
I haven’t written a post for some time now. I’ve been in a relationship with a girl for over a year now and things are still very good.
For those of you who don’t know me or remember any of my posts, I would just like to say that at one point I was as LOW as you could get in regards to women. BUT, over the years, (with the help of this forum, my friends, and LOTS of reading of the various “seduction experts” out there), I have managed to climb my way out of a dark hole. I plan on posting my ideas and techniques on this forum in the future and I’m sure it will be a help to all.

BUT STILL,
I have ONE question for you guys.
I haven’t dealt with this problem for a while, but I have a feeling it will show up again.
How do you guys deal with teasing and taunting from people?
Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about:
About a year ago I went with an old girlfriend to a going away party for one of my friends.
Now, my friends have a way of constantly making fun of and teasing each other, but sometimes they push it to far.
One of the guys at the party started calling me some “girly” name for some reason and then everyone else started to call me by the same name. It really started to piss me off and my girl could see that they were disrespecting me AND THIS WAS NOT GOOD!!
I tried, the whole “teasing them back” thing, but this just made them tease me more and keep calling me by the same name.
I’ve dealt with this problem at different times and in different situations as well—(friends and associates) teasing me or making fun of me in some fashion—and ME not know how to deal with it in the most productive way.

Some of you might say, “JUST AVOID THESE PEOPLE”, but sometimes this is NOT an option. Sometimes I have to be around these people if I like it or not and sometimes these people are good friends with my friends.
How would you guys handle this type of problem? Its been an issue in the past and I want to END this problem and DISRESPECT once and for all.
Thanks.

 

[Scoiland]

i know what you mean... that happens to me sometimes too

i usually just tease them back and laugh it off whatever they say

 

[FM 3321]

I'm wondering the same thing too. Some friends and I went to a club and I was doing great with this one girl until they all suggested they ride in one car when the girl and I planned to ride in her car ourselves and follow the guys. Then since they were drunk the teasing developed about stuff like blaming me for farts, making very crass jokes, making fun about past stuff we did and just being loud which seemed to kill whatever me and this girl had........I just acted like it didn't bother me but I was fuxking pissed at my friends that night.


Anyway..........I wanted to know what to do in this situation as well. I know there has to be a way to let that sh!t roll off without making you look bad to the girl.

I think next time we go out I'm gonna lecture this set of friends about that situation. Other guys I know don't do that and my best friend knows to keep that teasing and banter on the Down Low when girls are in the vincinity.

 

[bud_2005]

I think if a group of people start teasing you, you are in a lose-lose situation. If you don't do anything, you come off as looking weak. If you fight back, you can end up looking dangerous or insecure.

 

[bobbob]

Originally posted by FM 3321
I'm wondering the same thing too. Some friends and I went to a club and I was doing great with this one girl until they all suggested they ride in one car when the girl and I planned to ride in her car ourselves and follow the guys. Then since they were drunk the teasing developed about stuff like blaming me for farts, making very crass jokes, making fun about past stuff we did and just being loud which seemed to kill whatever me and this girl had........I just acted like it didn't bother me but I was fuxking pissed at my friends that night.


Anyway..........I wanted to know what to do in this situation as well. I know there has to be a way to let that sh!t roll off without making you look bad to the girl.

I think next time we go out I'm gonna lecture this set of friends about that situation. Other guys I know don't do that and my best friend knows to keep that teasing and banter on the Down Low when girls are in the vincinity.

It seems like you put yourself in the situation ... you said originally you planned to drive alone with the girl while following your friends. Why change plans?

In general, if someone's jokes are truly bothering you or getting under you skin, teasing back is NOT the way to go. It'll only escalate the situation.

The best thing to do is let it be known in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that the **** they're saying is unnaceptable. Don't threaten them, however (i.e. saying "shut up or I'll kick your ass" or something to that effect) because again, it will only escalate the situation.

If they're your friends, they will stop.

If they are not your friends, you can either beat the **** out of them, or leave.

 

[themanwithnoname]

believe it or not, there are men out there that test other men's manhood and you failed in this situation.

 

[Jay-X]

i used to have that problem for years. now, i usually smile at them like they are cracking jokes and sometimes i answer, maybe dissing them in a funny and humorous way.
my brother's way to deal with it is maybe even better: he pretends to be a thug and go straight up to them, pushing them away, lightly slapping them and saying in a threatening way "quit it now... i'm not joking quit it now or i'ma smash your ass, little prick" or something on that line, which shows that he obviously is not angry at all, but also it's far better and shows more confidence than standing there with a sad expression on your face

 

[Agressor]

knock them out

 

[MusicMan]

if it is in a humorous and casual way, retort with a confident smile and then just focus on who you're with in that case the girl. under no circumstances should you do in an angry or ironic manner. do it calmly.

now, if it exceeds humorous and people are clearly provoking you, don't smile, walk up to them looking in their eyes all the time, and with a calm steady voice say something to the effect of 'ok folks, this was nice, but now it's getting too far. you're gonna stop this now and we'll all have a nice time, ok?'.

Remember Don Juan is not only about the girls, it's about your whole life. The more like this you are, the less likely situations like these will emerge. Good luck.

 

[Triple X]

Originally posted by bobbob
The best thing to do is let it be known in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that the **** they're saying is unnaceptable. Don't threaten them, however (i.e. saying "shut up or I'll kick your ass" or something to that effect) because again, it will only escalate the situation.

Nah... sorry man.. u serious? lol that sh*t would never work, at least with the people I know. If I said something along the lines of 'this just isn't acceptable and I wont tolerate it!' they would just keep taking the p*** further and laughing more.

The best thing I've found to do in these kind of situations is not let it affect you, in any way. For example I've been in situations where ppl have teased me about my body hair in front of girls, to piss me off. So what I do, when they say stuff like 'he's a gorilla!! hur hur!!' is just say 'yeah that's right!' and be completely unfazed.

If they see that it ISN'T pissing you off, 8 times out of 10 they will get bored and stop.

 

[Bonhomme]

Play psycho thug

I like Jay-X's brother's approach. Make it like a movie scene everyone will know, like Joe Pesci's "you think I'm funny" line in Goodfellas.

That way they can tell you're joshing, but might wonder just enough about whether or not they might be setting off a loose cannon to back of a bit.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

Exactlyyyyy....what triple h said, I mean triple x.

 

[kk2004]

i know

I kno what ur saying its very esay to solve it. You just dont let it affect you and U actually make a bigger joke about yourself. CXuz u dont care what they think. FOr example

myfriend1: HEy what are u guys doing here making out all by urself
me: Yeah, if u had come later u would have caught us ****ing each other
myfriend1: oh okay (and leaves)
myfriend2: wow that was good man, u used to be so sensative before
me: I know but now i dont care **** em

Like i didnt let it bother me thats it

 

[Triple X]

Originally posted by PVSSY-EATER
Exactlyyyyy....what triple h said, I mean triple x.

Yep thats me.. triple H...

Hot, Handsome and Hard.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

Hot, Handsome, and Hot....ha ha..

I was talking bout, haha, triple h from that wrestling show.
I used to be into it, now it just svcks, I remember triple h told everybody to svck it! Hilarous.

 

[Bonhomme]

TOTALLY ignoring it is good

But I agree that TOTALLY ignoring it is good, if it is indeed serious. But that's just so 4th grade. Perhaps I just don't hang around with idiots, but I don't see it, unless it's otally in jest, in which case and equally playful response is right.

 

[Triple X]

Originally posted by PVSSY-EATER
Hot, Handsome, and Hot....ha ha..

I was talking bout, haha, triple h from that wrestling show.
I used to be into it, now it just svcks, I remember triple h told everybody to svck it! Hilarous.

Lol I'm from England and never heard of that dude b4... I assumed Triple H was some kind of Prozac substitute or some sh*t...lol....

 

[Alpine]

Here is the answer, I got it from a book so it must be true!

No, I have utilised it and not only works but even ups your status.

Firstly, understand that if it's fairly mild, it could actually be a positive sign. Have you ever noticed as you get to know people better ie becoming friends, they become more familiar and take a few liberties like teasing, it's an uncouscious test to see if you are friendly and helps bonding.

OK now the nasty guys. You must slap them down, but in a way that keeps your dignity and puts them on the spot.

This is a very Machi. ploy and useful for arseowls that deserve it.

Stay calm, respond something like...

You seem to be having a rough day

This seems to have upset 'you'.

This achieves a lot. It shows that you are not rising to him/her. That the assumption is they have some problem and they can't keep control.

My favourite twist is something I use I came up with but can devestating especially with others around.

Why do you have to lose control like that? (because the question is structured as a presupposition the statement is accepted). Truth is, that's what they are doing and they know it, they will think twice or try to thump you.


The book 'Get anyone to do anything' by David Lieberman is where I got these ideas.

There's stuff in there on smoking out rumour mongers, how to tell if someone is lying, the mechanics of making friends for the clueless and much more. All DJs should own a copy even if you think you're above all that.

 

[cant think of a user name]

Haha just listen to what they are saying and turn it around on them.

Dont be afraid to be immature back to them if they are being immature in the first place!

For example:

someguy: hey man you're such a gay cvnt, you suk dik

you: you seemed to enjoy it last night (sarcastic)

Usually everyone chuckles and that's the end of that, but if the other guy gets defensive and goes...

someguy: huh? get away from me you homo!

you: you're the one who started the whole dik-suking conversation f4g.


OR

someguy: you're so girly man look at you

you: and you're a piece of cr4p, but you dont see me complaining (jokingly)


OR

someguy: (some insult)

you: someguy...

someguy: what?

you: shut your trap (jokingly)


Ok, perhaps not the best examples.... just trying to get the ball rolling for you...

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

guys the main point of guys cracking on you is to see if you are sensitive and will take offense to the jokes. I got ragged on all the time, and even still do sometimes, but guys honestly, rag back on them it is not really a big deal. And if you are worried that you will look weak in front of your girl, that is only when somebody is threatening to kick you azz and you sit there dumbfounded. Guys....dont you have uncles? They rag on you all the time. And if you have friends, and a lot of them, they will rag on you all the time and real good too. This is when you have to work on your ragging skills and get their azzes back, and get them back good. But dont get senisitive and all pissed off and tough, there is not reason for that, and that will make you look stupid. You got me?