paying

[Chromeo]

If you guys read the "wow my ex amazed me" thread in the DJ section you'll know where im coming from.

But do you guys usually offer to pay? I mean if a woman is money grubbing you can tell, I think, and just dump her.

But should a gentleman always offer to pay and a real woman will refuse most times?

I would love to be able to offer to pay, I mean men are supposed to be the care takers, the ones in charge, and in control. I really dont have the means to right now, so should I not be taking women out if I cant at least offer?

Im talking about offering here, by no means am I looking for woman to hang with me just because I pay. But I really dont even want to care about money that much, I feel like I should feel good about paying, not regretting it.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Hell naw!

I'm a 50/50 guy. I'll treat her once in a while, BUT i'll only treat her if she's deserved it!

If i'm feeling particularly generous though, i'll pay ONLY if she's brought out her purse with the intention of going 50/50.

She don't bring out purse, 50/50.

 

[Donnie Darko]

When dating a new girl, I try to split the tab with her.

Some girls really expect the guy to pay for everything though so that it is why I usually just go grab drinks for the 1st "date" - so even if I have to pay the entire tab it is not too expensive.

When in a relationship, I tend to prefer that we take turns treating the other person. Generally, I am picking up more expensive tabs than the girl is.

Some girls have complained about splitting tabs or stated that they want to be "taken care of"...or that "it's the responsibility of whoever asks the person out to pay"

I've explained my position with these types of women and some either take the position of just stating that I am wrong or they mistakenly contend with their selective memories that they pay for an equal share in the relationship.

One plate explained that she thought it was the man's role as the provider to pay and that she as a woman contributed other benefits. I told her she can't be talking about sex because I'm contributing as much as she is and then asked her what those benefits were because I wasn't seeing any of them. She had no reply.

Overall, I think it is important to set the tone from the beginning on how paying for bills is taken care of, what types of dates you are going to go on, and how expensive those dates are.

The problem is that even if you set the tone from the beginning when you start dating a girl, sometimes her girlfriends will eventually start filling her head with ideas that you should be paying for everything.

Or her girlfriends will tell her stories about how this AFC guy she is dating paid for everything for her...and next thing you know the girl your dating will start complaining that you don't pay for her.

 

[5string]

I am the kind of guy that pays, but only if they deserve it or have earned it by appropriate actions and behavior. You can tell which ones are after the "free ride". If you have the means to do it, paying can be absolutely masterful in the right situation. That being, your HB will feel obligated, at least to a degree and think that "he is interested enough in me, and enjoys my company enough to pick up the tab". Doesnt everyone here appreciate it when someone picks up a tab or presents them with a gift no matter if large or small? I do. My wife has been wanting a pair of heels at a store nearby for example. Now she is REALLY frugal mind you. Anyway, I just gave her the card and told her to go get em. She had a BIG smile on her face as she didnt expect me to do that. Priceless. She shops for my clothes and does things in return which is very much appreciated. In the context of a date, maybe the answer is that the one who asks for the date or to do a particular activity should be the one who pays? Splitting tabs isnt really something I'm fond of.

 

[Iceberg]

I've only begun paying for dates recently. With my last two, I think. And I have no idea what is bringing this habit about...I think it was my promotion. Don't plan on doing next time.

A girl who you KNOW will reciprocate deserves to have a meal paid for. But random chicks you're meeting for a 1st date? Definitely not.

 

[teacha]

I would love to be able to offer to pay, I mean men are supposed to be the care takers, the ones in charge, and in control. I really dont have the means to right now, so should I not be taking women out if I cant at least offer?

...says who?

im a firm believer in womens equal rights; the right to pay for her own sh!t.

 

[Joe Stud]

i'm same as 5string (maybe cause i'm an old codger as he is, LOL), BUT she better offer sometimes, and... she better make it up to me (sex, favors, shop for me, etc) lots of times.

I take the high road and pay, but I wont keep her for long if shes a mooch, or a self-centered beotch