Paying on dates

[Juan Don]

with my exgirlfriend we paid for our own things even when we first started dating.

so what is the don juan etiquette for asking a girl out and who pays what? i don't want to seem cheap but i also don't want to come off as buying her affection or a free meal ticket if you catch my drift. i hear how some of you have tons of dates a month. how do you manage your funds for dating? so far i haven't number closing many girls only talk, kino, and flirt with them at the bar and clubs. however i would like to start getting numbers and start dating. any help is appreciated. thanks

 

[Iceberg]

My dates usually involve sitting down for 2-3 drinks. No dinner. No fancy, "Yahoo Top 5 Date Ideas" sh!t.

So if the girl offers to pay for her drinks, great. If not, I'm only out $15-$20.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I like to hang out with a girl a couple times at the apartment or at another place before I decide to take her out on a date (Where money is involved). Going to dinner with a girl that you don't know anything about is a little strange. I got to know that she is worth being taken out by a fly dude like me.

If she is old fashioned (Which I am) I'd pay for her. But the limit I will pay in one date is 20$.

If she isn't old fashioned (she talks about how feminism and how independant she is) then you pay for your own portions.

By old fashioned I am saying she is willing to clean for you, cook dinner and things like that.

 

[Tovansky]

I am usually paying for the first date, usually the girls will want to pay for her own portion (I am always getting these awesome girls) and I always said, 'pay for our next date'. That way I have already secured a potential next date and also made her to invest on me.

 

[FairShake]

A woman paying for her own date is often a quick way to the friendzone. You want alot of dates make sure they are cheap ones until you are getting laid...

 

[st_99]

Last date I went on, I paid for a couple drinks, she paid for a couple shots, and I think I paid for her 2 in the morning sandwich from the local convienence store! hahahah.

 

[DonJuanit0]

What I do is, pay on the first date, she'll propably argue about it and try to pay so I'll just say, ok next time it's on you ok?
The next time she just pays for our drinks!

It's a fun way to do so cause you can always say I owe you some drinks or you owe me some drinks and staff to arrange the next date! You also don't pay but let her pay the half of your dates! Which I think is correct!

 

[DonJuanit0]

Oh it's been said before by Tovansky! Well I follow the same path!

 

[fertileTurtle]

Go dutch at first. Tell her a lot of men will try to manipulate women with money before they know them. Order for her even. Don't ever get into the habit of spending much on a woman unless you are buying a hooker. Use as a reward for when she deserves it.

 

[PokerStar]

i usually go out for coffee or tea on the first date. most of the time i pay but recently the girls are out paying first.

 

[Masculinity]

Before anything, read this news report about what this woman did to men: News Report


Now that you've watched that let me share some personal experience. The last girl I went out with payed for everything in my penultimate date, even though I insisted in splitting it. We split the check in my most recent date. OP: I see your concern. I used to think about this a lot when I began going out with girls. What I usually do ask " so where are you taking me?" You will be surprised at how many will just appreciate your balls & pay for you. If they playfully decline, I make it clear we're hanging out as friends. "Alright, since we are just hanging out as friends, let's split the check in half. Just cause we're going out doesn't mean you get to take me home after, though so don't get any ideas " I get a positive response with that more than 90% o the time. Why should you spend more than $10 on a girl that you barely know? You don't even know if she meets your standards yet.

On the other hand, if it is something inexpensive (less than $10 for both), then I would have no problem paying(have acuity around this or you'll end as a broke college student). Stating you are only friends & that you aren't paying sets you apart from other men immediately & it makes her wonder "friends? I thought he liked me? Did I do something?" You would have to cold approach of course & make it obvious that you are interested in her when you first meet her to avoid being friend-zoned. I just did this naturally and then realized it works because she is thinking about you & raises her IL before you two even go out.

I find it interesting why people behave the way they do. After I am seeing a girl for some time, the topic of what we liked about each other initially comes up. About 75% of them mentioned in their own words: " I like how confident you are & the way you carry yourself. You don't try to impress me by paying for stuff or flooding me with compliments." One even said "my mom asked if you paid & I said yes (even though you didn't) and my mom said she liked you already. I liked you a lot and I wanted you to like me back."

This is what works for me. Try it out and see how it works for you and make your own tweaks. Good question!

 

[pdx1138]

A woman paying for her own date is often a quick way to the friendzone. You want alot of dates make sure they are cheap ones until you are getting laid...

YES.

If you ask a girl out, most expect you to pay or possibly dutch if they offer.

 

[Zodiac]

I pay less than 40 dollars a date, myself included. This includes 2-3 drinks and the food. I also gauge it on how the date goes if I'll pay it or if I'll pull the Dutch move.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You want alot of dates make sure they are cheap ones until you are getting laid...

The first part, I think has more to do with the guy, what kind of game he has and level of attraction. You paying, or her offering to pay is irrelevant if you know what you are doing. We often hear the opposite, where the guy pays and pays, and she's really not interested and she just gets a free dinner out of it; or she actually loses attraction because he came across as trying to buy affection. Everything being equal, I rather have her offer to pay, then I decided wether I allow her to. makes no difference.

You want alot of dates make sure they are cheap ones until you are getting laid...

I totally agree with this part. I would go ahead and say, NO DATING until you are already getting laid. By then, she should be offering to split or pay everyother time. Win-win.

 

[HalfAddict]

**** that, I aint buying her ****... Im tryin to get her to buy me **** dig.

 

[J Roc]

I dont spend any money on a woman when I first meet her. We do something free like meet up at the park for a jog, a free event in the city or watch a dvd at the house. Food dates are reserved for women on my team.

I know lots of men that will take a women on 4-5 dates and end up friendzoned. They are wasting hundreds of dollars on dinner wh0res when they could have applied that money towards their home loan or student loan debts. smh

 

[FairShake]

The first part, I think has more to do with the guy, what kind of game he has and level of attraction.

Like anything else if the interest level is high enough you can get away with not paying. And if the interest level is that high you know.

Otherwise an average woman will write you off as cheap and so many doors close at that point. Most women will only offer if they consider you a friend and nothing more!

I realize this doesn't jibe with PUA theory but it is just my personal observation.